Whatzit vs Spider-Ham Episode Transcript

Transcription of our Whatzit vs Spider-Ham episode.

Listen to our Whatzit vs Spider-Ham episode here!

[Music] hi and welcome to the dynamic duel podcast a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters in stat based battle simulations I’m marvelous Joe and I was twin brother Johnny DC and in this episode we are pitting the character what’s it a character from the Super Pets against spider-ham who you probably remember from spider-man into the spider versus the animated film that came out last Christmas right as is an annual tradition for this show Jonathan and I like to get a little bit more lighthearted with the characters that we pick for our annual holiday charity fundraiser in our first year we pick chip the Green Lantern squirrel against rocket racoon and our second year we put Krypto the Superdog against throg the frog with the powers of Thor and last year we pit detective chimp against Howard the Duck now the characters that we’ve done for these charity duels in the past tended to be a little bit more on the obscure end right as a challenge to fight artwork so we came up with the idea of commissioning artists to draw these characters for us and then we would auction that original artwork for charity except this year we actually have a facebook fundraiser going instead of an option and what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna randomly select a donor to award this original artwork to and it doesn’t matter how much you donate it could be $1 it could be a hundred dollars we just want to encourage you guys to donate to pop culture classroom write pop culture classroom is a nonprofit organization that started out promoting literacy to children by teaching them how to read through comic books and since then it’s evolved to incorporate other innovative forms of popular culture but it’s a fantastic cause that we would love for you guys to donate to go ahead and visit our Facebook page by searching for a dynamic duel DC versus Marvel and you can find our fundraiser post pinned to the top of our page once again we’ll choose one person who donates to win the original artwork of both spider-ham and whatsit drawn by artist Nathan Santa Stephen the charity ends December 14th 2019 so if you’re listening to this episode before then you still have time to donate now this duel matchup is essentially the flash versus spider-man so it’ll be interesting I’m really looking forward to getting into it but before we find out who would win enough fight we’re going to go over the comic book movie news over the past week of which we had two trailers both movies being female led superhero films in Black Widow and Wonder Woman they were both pretty damn good both very different so we’re gonna go ahead and dissect them as always our second times are in our episode description so feel free to jump around to whatever segment you want to listen to but wait stop everything we got a huge announcement big news guys we hit our 200 ratings mark for Apple podcast ratings right as you guys know we’ve been trying to achieve this goal of 200 ratings on Apple podcasts for over a year now yeah and finally finally we’ve hit it you guys came through for us in a big way over these past few weeks we got like 20-something ratings it’s been huge it’s like a dream come true I don’t think we were gonna make it yeah honestly I didn’t either we do that early too with weeks to spare before the end of this year you guys are awesome thank you so much to everyone who rated us from the very beginning including a McCoy geek details Darian Sykes - and is this a clever nickname to all of you guys radiate us in the past week and gave us reviews and now that we’ve hit that mark Jonathan and I are eligible to become critics on the Rotten Tomatoes site and have our reviews of Marvel and DC’s films count towards their official tomato meters that we haven’t submitted our application yet but we will be doing that soon and we’ll keep you guys posted on the status of that and when you can hopefully see our reviews up on that site this is the end of an era for this podcast and that you will never have to hear us beg you guys for ratings ever again everyone Pat yourselves on the back everyone who not only rated us but also shared the show with your friends and family it’s a big deal Jonathan and I cannot overstate our gratitude towards everyone who is listening right now we salute you on to the next era and quick to the no prize so no prize is an award that Marvel used to give out up until the 90s to fans our version the dynamic duel no prize is a digital award that we post on social media that I personally draw for those who we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week last week’s question was what character from another DC show or film outside the arrowverse the CW DC Universe do you hope makes a surprise appearance in the crisis on Infinite Earths crossover now that’s a big television event that’s incorporating a lot of actors that have appeared in DC television shows and films over the past years it’s an event that started this past Sunday is continuing today but we are recording this on Sunday so Jonathan and I saw have no idea who’s showing up right but we got a lot of great answers for this so let’s go through them our executive producer Jon Spees gave the answer of Jana Reeves as Constantine and I guess he would be introduced to Matt Ryan’s version of Constantine and the two could see like who could out snark the other I guess well why not they have multiple supermen in this event so why not the more the merrier and multiple flash it would be cool to see someone as big as Kanto Reeves make a guest appearance in this and really show how much the character means to him I’d like to think that Keanu Reeves is like a nice enough guy that he would do that yeah Tim Brown gave the answer of Joe Manganiello Deathstroke from the Justice League if anybody deserves this it’s him really because Joe Manganiello made like a 10 second appearance as Deathstroke at the end of the Justice League film and it would be cool to kind of see him get his due with an extended guest appearance in this crossover event the Deathstroke has been at the arrowverse you know and he’s also currently a character in the Titans show but Joe Manganiello is costume is still the coolest Deathstroke costume that we’ve seen a live action that I think was so glorious yeah I could get all the Deathstroke’s in there put them all in honorable mention goes to Mickey Madden gihan for their answer of Jaime Reyes who is the Blue Beetle now the only live action version of Jaime Reyes that I could think of was actually in Smallville right but McGee said that hi mate could be a cousin of Cisco which would fit perfectly into that world I think Oh Cisco from the flash yeah so this event would be introducing Jaime Reyes as Blue Beetle I remember the version that was in Smallville had the looking costume it look like a big bad beetleborgs that old TV show yeah it’s pretty bad is pretty bad so maybe he’ll get some upgrades for this crossover event if he’s in it ideally Harrison Fox gave the answer of Billy Crudup as dr. Mann hain now I loved Billy cart ups dr. Mann hain he had such a great voice it was like hell 9,000 it was so like detached yes yeah it was really good I would love it if he made an appearance and you know they could just pixelate dr. manhattan’s penis so do we find that would not be awkward at all Red Hook gave the answer of everybody just everybody everybody who has ever played a role in every DC anything to show up on the show a little ambitious perhaps but really like your enthusiasm and I agree everyone should be in it Neil pulling and Sergio Rio has both gave the answer of Lucifer from the show that was formerly on Fox and is now on Netflix which actually found pretty surprising I haven’t seen that show I hear great things this is one more reason why I feel like I should be watching that it would be cool to see Lucifer meet up with John Constantine yeah yeah absolutely especially if also canto Reeves Constantine is on there too and they could have had Swamp Thing no one actually gave the answer of Swamp Thing but that would have been cool honorable mention also goes to Andy Freeman and Jonathan Hazleton who both gave the answer of Brenton Thwaites as Nightwing and that’s the actor who plays the character on the Titans DC Universe television show yeah season 2 of that just ended so we got to see him and his full nightly glory and it was glorious seeing him go up against Deathstroke was just one of the best moments in DC television history for me it was awesome really Wow honorable mention goes to irani gummi follow him on Instagram it’s just imaginary spelled backwards he gave the answer of Linda Carter’s Wonder Woman now this almost got the award because I would love to see Linda Carter’s one-woman show up here and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s one of the seeker cameos that we actually get right because Linda Carter has played a role in the Supergirl television show right yeah she played the president so we know she’s up for being in these television shows it would just be nice to see her come back as the character that it was so iconic in the 70s Lou 6:13 gave the answer of Dean Cain from Lois & Clark the New Adventures of Superman and we grew up watching that show like every week when I was on I really liked it it would be awesome and I’d be surprised if greg berlanti like didn’t reach out to Dean Cain to see if he was interested honorable mention goes to Ken Johnson who said that gene Hackman and Ned Beatty should reprise their roles of Lex Luthor and Otis from the Christopher Reeve Superman films you might be able to get Ned Beatty but I don’t think you’d be able to get Gene Hackman without a ton of money the guy’s an Oscar winner spend it it’ll be cool to see his Lex Luthor alongside Jon Cryer’s version of the character and then they both team up in their mech suits I would love to see Gene Hackman in a mech suit the best you just haven’t needed to be physically there just like film him in a chair it gets a green screen and then just insert him and post totally work honorable mention goes to Kobe hench’s who wants to see not to watch me either from the television show that’s currently ongoing or Zack Snyder’s film I would love to see Jackie Earle Haley reprise his role as Rorschach he was so perfect in that role yeah yeah Kelvin ja Delamar said gave the answer of Nathan Fillion as Green Lantern and of course Nathan Fillion has done the voice work for Green Lantern in several DC animated films right and Kevin Conroy has a physical role in this crossover event as an older Batman so why not Nathan Fillion we’ve always wanted to see him as Green Lantern in live-action anyway when I think of how Jordan from the comics I pictured Nathan Fillion honorable mention goes to Kenneth McNeese jr. who said that Nicolas Cage’s Superman should make an appearance here this is funny because I just read an article it was an interview with Greg Berlanti who said they actually did reach out to Nick Cage to play Superman in the crossover I’m sure they reached out to everybody but this would be particularly special because Nicholas Cage was supposed to play Superman in the late 90s Superman leaves film and as recently as a couple years ago they released pics of what his Superman costume would look like and it was just so atrocious but it would really be so glorious to see it on the small screen as he fights alongside all these other heroes as this kind of like Elseworlds take on the Superman character that would have been cool I’ve been really cool it would have been crazy I always would have preferred to see him as like Kingdom Come Superman and see Brandon Roth is more of like the Christopher Reeve Superman yeah honorable mention goes to me - who said he wanted to see Superboy the version from the Titans that’s on the DC Universe right now now didn’t Superboy play a big part in the crisis on Infinite Earths storyline in the comics no you’re probably thinking of Infinite Crisis oh yes he says yeah okay same thing you know sure CJ craft gets honorable mention for his answer of the question he wants the question to appear now I don’t believe that character has made any live-action appearances thus far no I remember they mentioned Vic sage in arrow so he’s been name-dropped I think a few times in the air over so we’ve just never seen him so it’d be cool to finally have him make an appearance yeah yeah and our final honorable mention goes to Jeremy or who said he wanted to see The Spectre but played by Ed Harris that’d probably be a stretch considering the fact that they’ve already cast Jim Corrigan for the crossover and he’s making an appearance uh-huh for sure yes so so this is just a case of Jeremy or wanting to see the Spectre and then casting who he thought would be best to play him but I like the answer nonetheless yeah it Harris would probably make a fantastic Spectre but the winner of this week’s no prize goes to Jeff miles jr. for his answer of Mark Hamill as the Joker how is this alright why is this answer the best out of all those great answers okay so one reason is that Mark Hamill has already made an appearance in the arrowverse as the flash villain trickster so we know that he’s up for appearing in these shows yes and that was such a fantastic episode he did such a great job as the trickster I’ve always wanted to see him as a live-action Joker as well given the fact that we’re seeing Kevin Conroy the voice of Batman from the animated series yeah be Bruce Wayne it would be like the ultimate fanboy dream to see those two face each other as Batman and as the Joker that sounds like almost too good to be true but is yet still probably more within the realm of possibility than a lot of these other answers yes yes again considering the fact he’s been in one of the shows before for a lot of people he is the definitive Joker so seeing him here I think would just it would just be perfect so Congrats again - Jeff miles jr. you win this week’s no prize if you the listener want to win your own no prize go ahead and stay tuned to later on this episode when we’ll be asking another question of the week with that out of the way on to the news so the Black Widow trailer debuted this past week I was not expecting it was a huge surprise I know it came out like an hour before our last episode dropped right that’s so stupid I hate when that happens but that means we get to talk about it in this episode and compare it to Wonder Woman as well so it was kind of fortunate in that regard I think this black widow trailer dropped when it did because the Bond movie announced that it was releasing the trailer last Wednesday and so in order to avoid any sort of negative comparisons Disney decided to get their spy movie trailer out the gate first yeah I’m sure they wanted to probably reveal it during Kevin Feige ease panel at CC XP the Brazil comic-con right that was probably the original plan and in hindsight I don’t think that they needed to be afraid of the pond trailer I think both of these films look great and I don’t think it would have suffered any backlash coming afterward in fact the best thing I can say about this black widow trailer is that it reminds me very much of a Bond film which was kind of what I was hoping for it righted me a lot of Jason Bourne yeah it has kind of like this Tom Clancy Jason Bourne kind of feel to it and that’s really what I was wanting from this it looks like a true sequel to the Winter Soldier in civil war that style of action superhero film yeah and it kind of helps that they showed clips from those films it just kind of showed that this is like a good continuation of that same kind of style for the character right and I was honestly a little annoyed when I first saw this trailer at how much they were showing old footage you know I was like get to the new stuff and eventually we get to it after a few scenes from age of Ultron and the Winter Soldier and Scarlett Johansson’s staring in a mirror good set up for this highly dramatic stuff that were about to see where she arrives in Budapest to be a train and we get these great European locations we know that this film is a prequel allegedly taking place between the events of Civil War and infinity war although that might not necessarily be the case because we see a shot of general Thunderbolt Ross and he’s de-aged to look like even younger than he was in the Incredible Hulk yeah I have to wonder how far back this film goes right which is weird because Thunderbolt Ross is wearing a suit dressed as you know the Secretary of Defense project that he always wore his army uniform well maybe this is even before he was a general it’s possible I almost wonder if like he was the US government agent that was responsible for getting Natasha out of the Soviet program that’s a great theory maybe he was working alongside Hawkeye at the time and this is when she defected to shield yeah I think that makes sense we see Natasha enter this house where she confronts Yelena Bulova who was another black widow from the comics and they fight and in this they call each other sister even though they’re not sisters from the comics I don’t think they’re actually sisters here but I think they mean that in sort of a camaraderie type of sense yeah they were both in the Black Widow program therefore they refer to each other as sisters it was cool to see that they obviously had the same training because like they were doing like mirror images of each other and I thought that was like a taskmaster think but it’s interesting to see them doing it as well yeah the fight was very reminiscent of the hotel fight scene from Quantum of Solace it also reminded me of the fight scene from The Bourne Identity it looked like someone really got thrown through a window in this trailer like that would have had to have hurt yeah the action is hardcore which is awesome they’re doing so much great stunt action working films now especially with like the John wick films yeah I would love to see some crazy over-the-top jaw-dropping stunt work in this film this is the Marvel vehicle for that kind of stuff yeah like take it even further than the Winter Soldier film didn’t yeah yeah in addition to Jelena Bulova were introduced to Melina basta cough he was played by Rachel vice who looks to be a little bit older than them and possibly trained them in the comics Melina Busta cuff is the Iron Maiden and she’s a bad guy who wears this like skin-tight metal suit that protects her from damage really but here I don’t know if she is a bad guy she looks to be sort of like this motherly figure to Jelena and Natasha well honestly like these marble trailers especially recently are so deceptive like they’ll have gems in there that aren’t in the film and you know they did it just to throw you off the trail of like what’s really going on in the film uh-huh I wouldn’t be surprised if like these scenes with Rachel Vice are doing the same thing it’s possible you never know now the other member of this pseudo family unit is Alexei Shasta cough who is the red Guardian played by actor David Harbor this was done way differently than I thought it would have surprised me it surprised me honestly when David Harbor was cast especially when it was revealed he was gonna keep the beard because that didn’t feel like the Russian version of Captain America to me yeah he’s no Chris Evans no but here the look subverted my expectations but I still really like their take on it you mentioned that the character has the same last name as the Iron Maiden character Rachel vices character they’re close but they’re not there’s Melina Vostok off uh-huh Iron Maiden and Alexei Shostak of red Guardian oh okay all right yeah I thought the same now in the comics Alexei was Natasha’s ex-husband he was the one that she thought died and that’s how she got the moniker Black Widow but here it looks like perhaps he’s more the father figure he’s probably the ex of Iron Maiden yeah I get that same vibe we also get to see taskmaster in this trailer very briefly more briefly than I would have liked but it’s a cool shot he’s firing a bone arrow which I assume is meant to evoke Hawkeye due to the nature of taskmasters copycat powers it appears that he’s observed Hawkeye in action and therefore now has all of his archery abilities what did you think of his costume I mean we saw so briefly I do wish he was wearing the hood I guess he does have the hood in the film but the mask does not look very skull like like it does in the comics I wish it looked more like a skull but maybe they were trying to avoid confusion with crossbones yeah that makes sense it was cool to see him go up against Red Guardian I don’t think that’s a fight that red Guardian can win I think it’s gonna be a great showcase for taskmasters powers to see him take out alexei there were a few great shots throughout this trailer one of them being where Black Widow is wearing her like snow suit her all-white Black Widow suit and she like does this backflip onto a bridge that was badass there was another shot of the Red Room where the Black Widow is trained and we got to see all these women acting in unison doing these self defense tactics yeah that was cool that was really cool and lastly the money shot of the entire trailer happened at the end where we see Black Widow and her enemies like falling out of this crashed airship or something like that and there’s debris flying all over and she’s skydiving like a boss that was so cool it was exactly what I wanted to see out of a black widow film just something that’s probably the most superheroic thing a person that super powers could do badass yeah it definitely ended like on a very heroic image I think the music helped a lot with that it was a really big fan of the music in this trailer the music was great the music was really good it set the tone perfectly the branding was also great yeah the title card so the very last shot of the trailer is kind of like this silhouette of black widow walking through this hall which was a callback to her first appearance in Iron Man 2 when she was doing that great imagery set the tone perfectly I’m really excited for this film now when is it coming out again it’s coming out in May early May so it’s coming out one month before Wonder Woman right exactly and that was a movie that also had a trailer that he did this past week let’s go ahead and talk about that I guess no I kind of don’t feel too bad about getting this trailer so late we should have gone a lot sooner but Black Widow is just coming out a month before you know I guess this is good timing for a Wonder Woman trailer absolutely you just feel that way because this movie has been delayed a bit and we could have probably gotten a trailer much sooner than this yeah I mean we were supposed to get the film this year and they got pushed back like almost a year so it’s so awesome to finally see some footage from this yeah Warner Brothers debuted at CC XP I saw the livestream which was incredible they never do things like that as San Diego comic-con oh yeah it would be so cool to get a live stream of San Diego Comic Cons Hall H panel right I don’t know why they don’t do that they should I’m really hoping that since Warner Brothers did it here they’ll do it in other conventions but we’ll see now the trailer definitely gives off like this title right but I think the thing that surprised me the most from it was the amount of action unlike the awesome moments and images that came from it as we super pumped for the film there are quite a few action scenes here that they’ve shown and overall I think the movie looks to be a lot of fun that’s the main vibe that I got from it it appears we’re getting like two different kinds of superhero films these days there are the ones that are like highly faithful to the comic books like Black Widow it looks like a spy movie like an espionage film exactly what it should be and then we’re getting these more creative director visions visions that no one really asked for but usually turn out to be pretty good like guardians of the galaxy I think Thor Ragnarok was that type of curveball I think Joker was like and you could classify Joker in that regard - this looks to be in that like director vision vein of superhero film and that’s crazy because this film was also directed by Patty Jenkins who directed the first movie which I thought was much more of a straightforward Wonder Woman film that felt true to the character and the style and the spirit of the character even though it was set during World War one yeah a lot of people made comparisons between that film and Captain America the First Avenger yes this one definitely doesn’t feel like Captain America the First Avenger right it’s the same difference between Thor the dark world and Thor Ragnarok exactly I think that’s what patty is trying to do here I think the biggest question that this trailer left me with though is why the 80s honestly from what I could gather I don’t think there’s a better answer other than patty Jenkins just really liked the 80s I mean with the Lynda Carter television show in the 70s you would think that that would be a more apt time frame for the character I remember speculating as to why it was called 1984 when they first revealed the title and I remember speculating maybe it was something like Orwellian or something like that I definitely don’t get that vibe from this trailer no because an Orwellian setting would be a little bit more probably like the Black Widow trailer yeah exactly like this Cold War vibe or something or something dystopian right right this is not dystopian this is very glamorous this is very studio 54 yeah yeah but you know what it works for the characters she’s never looked more comic accurate like her suit is it necessarily as battle-worn as it was before it’s a little bit more vibrant the red is red it’s not rust mm-hmm and she’s looking good as she’s pulling off some amazing feats I didn’t think we’d be able to see her do anything new with the lasso but just in this trailer she does like five new things with it it’s so versatile it is she uses it as like a whip she uses as like a grappling hook apparently she’s the new spider-man because that’s how she’s getting around nowadays that was incredible that was an incredible scene where we see her swinging from lightning bolt lightning bolt when I saw that I was just like why doesn’t she just fly in these movies like she does in the comics I think if they can make it work in the story I don’t know it’s fine she does have her invisible jet in this trailer I saw that that was cool but did you see it or was it invisible it wasn’t we got to see the interior of it yeah they’re like flying through the fireworks and that was a gorgeous scene it looks surprisingly non-magical well no I think it will be magical I think it’ll be sort of based on the same kind of magic that veils Paradise Island oh really yeah that would make sense I think ultimately if they do things that fit the story and differentiate her from other superheroes that could only help her and that lightning shot honestly proves it because how epic was that that was incredible it was pretty cool it was pretty cool automatically there seems to be a lot in this trailer that touches on like wish fulfillment yeah apparently there’s some kind of like wish stone or something that Maxwell Lord has yeah it’s gonna cool-looking he like sits on his desk he’s like telling people to like just wish for dreams to come true and clearly it looks like that’s what happens with Diana and and Steve Trevor it looks like that’s how she brings him back so she wishes him back from the dead however we know that in Justice League he’s still gone so is Steve Trevor dying again in this movie or is he like going back in time or something like that he has to die again you know he has today again well seems like Maxwell Lord sort of gets to like take advantage of these wishes and some way because he says that now he gets to take what he wants in return right so I’m sure like all the wishes get undone in some way to like deep our Maxwell Lord so that’s probably how they get rid of Steve Trevor hmm and of course Barbara Minerva of being played by Kristen Wiig in this film by imagine her getting her cheetah powers was probably some kind of wish of trying to be something like Wonder Woman that would make sense yeah so the story starting to take shape in this trailer I don’t know why Wonder Woman is in the White House I am assuming that’s the White House it looks like the White House almost looks like a Nightcrawler scene yeah from x-2 that was a nifty little thing that she did with the bullet in the chamber where she like knocked it out of the chamber and then hit it with her bracelet yeah I kind of wonder if she knocks that into someone like does she shoot someone with her bracelet we also get some flashback scenes to thin mascara and those look pretty cool they do it looks like the little girl who played her like hasn’t aged a day yeah it looks like the same girl yeah but they’re like holding some kind of like Olympic Games in some sort of Stadium or something which is kind of cool because of course in the comics Wonder Woman initially got to leave the island because she won some kind of big games type event to deem her worthy to leave oh really I just love the design of the thermosphere Stadium it’s really well designed it looks really cool I hope we get a lot more action there because the thigh mascara scenes were some of the best scenes in my opinion from the first movie I thought the battering tiara was kind of cheesy oh yeah we got to see that early in the trailer at the mall yeah I thought that was cool she’s taking out the cameras kind of explains why she hasn’t been seen prior to Batman V Superman oh she’s illuminating like evidence yes she’s just staying hidden of course I think the biggest moment the one that everyone’s talking about from this trailer is the golden armor that was pretty cool I like the design of the wings the helmet a little bit less so but I want to see it in action I would agree with the helmet I think the sooner she loses that the better it’s just I don’t like the way the hair hangs out of it I think I think that’s the biggest thing it was a great moment though you know you know what the best thing of this trailer was the music hey yes new orders Blue Monday yeah it’s like one of the best songs from the 80s ever I like the orgy cover better well that’s the version that we grew up with yeah yeah it is a fantastic song and it drives the pace of this trailer so damn well you even have like action beats being set up to coincide with the beats of the song yeah and I haven’t seen that done since the Punisher Netflix show trailer were they times the gunshots to the Metallica song I kind of really like that effect it’s so hard to like not like a trailer when they just play like a really good like nostalgic song it got me bobbing my head for sure it got me head banging well that’s because you were thinking of the og version probably the the trailer ends on kind of a funny cute kind of note when Diana’s kind of showing Steve Trevor you know the future and she’s like everything’s arts and Steve Trevor confuses a trash can for art hold it well they have great chemistry Chris Pine and gal gadot they do yeah they really do it’s really nice to see them back together again overall this trailer has me super pumped for the film I think it’s gonna be a fantastic summer movie just epic in every way just a sight to behold it’s gonna be awesome check your expectations my friend oh my god we don’t know what the story is yet if anything I think the Black Widow trailer looks better because it looks so much more true to character like I look at this Wonder Woman trailer and I barely recognize it as a Wonder Woman movie you have no idea how much better this film is gonna be than Black Widow uh-huh I guarantee you oh you guarantee me I’ve heard that sure you could just do so much more with the Wonder Woman she could be in this environment she could be in World War 1 she could be you know in modern-day uh-huh Black Widow so one know she’s a spy she’s dark blue the pest the wonder of my trailer was so much better don’t even try to pretend like it wasn’t it had better music but it overall was not better that brings us to our question of the week which trailer did you prefer between Black Widow and Wonder Woman them both bullshit you gotta pick one you got to draw a line in the same gun to your head if you only had to watch one of these trailers for the rest of your life which one would you choose really curious to see which one comes out on top here do the right thing Marvel fans yeah do the right thing do the right thing despite being a Marvel fan post your answer to our Instagram Twitter Facebook or email us at dynamic duel podcast at gmail.com we’ll pick our favorite answer and draw that person a dynamic duel no prize that will post to social media so that’s all the news for this episode let’s go ahead and get into our charity fundraiser matchup where we find out who would win in a fight between what’s it the flash turtle and spider-ham the spider-man pig [Music] okay what’s it versus spider-ham essentially a turtle with the powers of the flash and a pig with the powers of spider-man now I think what’s it’s probably the most obscure character that we’ve ever done for any of these duel matchups absolutely it’ll probably be the most obscure character we ever do tell me why did you decide to go with what’s it as opposed to any of the other DC super pets well this one was really tricky because we knew we wanted to do spider-ham for this upcoming charity duel episode since last year yeah yeah since last year but finding someone that could go toe-to-toe with someone as powerful as spider-man was kind of tricky because when it comes to DC animal heroes they’re either super powerful like Krypto and streaky the cat and Beppo and comet they’re all Superman essentially yeah or they’re a little bit too weak like Gleek the Wonder Twins monkey yeah because spider Hamet is kind of like a mid powered hero so while doing my research when I stumbled upon whatsit because I had never really known anything about him before I kind of thought that well he didn’t have too much in common with spider-ham power-wise in terms of power level I thought there would be comparable stat wise and we’ll see if that theory is correct later on yeah I would put the flash among the mid power tier characters as well so I think this is an apt matchup we’ll learn all about both of these characters as Jonathan and I get into their histories and their power sets but if you haven’t listened to any of our duel episodes before the way we determine who would win in a fight between the characters is through statistics and running those statistics through a probabilistic model that’s known as a Monte Carlo simulation and what the Monte Carlo simulation does is it randomizes their stats along a normal distribution which is a bell curve and that accounts for all the variables that take place during battle and it compares those stats against each other a thousand times which simulates a thousand battles right and from those results we get a percentage of wins for each character and no character ever wins 100% of the time the closer to 50% that the results are the better that Jonathan and I have done in choosing a fair matchup so it’s a math based unbiased method of determining these winners that was used by the television show The Deadliest Warrior that used be on Spike TV we do this because Jonathan and I are of course both heavily biased this isn’t based on fan votes there’s no uncharacteristic feats of strength it’s just stats right and the source of these stats is the official Marvel Power Rankings grid from which we extrapolate the DC character stats among that criteria and we also incorporate a few more stat categories to make a more robust simulation such as range and evasiveness right all right I think it’s my turn to go first with the histories of the characters let’s go ahead and learn all about Peter Parker the spectacular spider ham in an alternate universe anthropomorphic animals exist in a Saturday morning cartoon style world where like Mickey Mouse or Porky Pig animals walk dress and talk like regular earth humans in this world there lived a spider named Peter geeky but ordinary Peter the spider resided in New York City in the basement of a scientist pig named May porker and would watch in amazement as she created spectacular and mentions did you say New York yes look as an egg yolk one day Peter from his web in the corner of the basement witnessed may create an atomic powered hairdryer with which she was hoping to revolutionize the hair care industry however when Mae tested the device out it malfunctioned and zapped her head with radioactive energy with her mind frazzled she staggered over to Peter and bit him before fainting as a result of the radioactive pig bite Peters body started changing his eight limbs reduced down to four he grew a snout the curly tail he transformed from a spider into a pig fortunately he still retained some of his spider abilities such as his innate spider sense and his ability to stick to walls when may porker came to her memory was gone and she thought that Peter was her nephew he decided to take care of her from then on in her deluded mental state and he took on the last-named porker right yep it turned out that the accident transferred Mays scientific intelligence to Peter he used this inventiveness to regain his ability to shoot webs by creating wrist mounted web shooters now being far more than either spider or pig he decided to use abilities to fight crime as the spectacular spider ham he went up against enemies such as the Green Goblin electro mysterious the Buzzard and the conch pin Peter’s new life was hard when he wasn’t stopping supervillains he was often getting pushed around by high school bully Flash Tomcat but he was able to help support me with his day job as a photographer for the daily beagle newspaper and its editor Jay Jonah Jekyll Peter developed a crush on the paper secretary batty Brandt but found true love when his aunt too introduced him to mary-jane water buffalo what yeah and all these puns are great after Peter accidentally scared Aunt May into a coma by coming home through a window Peter had to travel to quack Varia to get a serum to save her there he fought and defeated dr. doom and his army of mutated vegetables to get Mays medicine why dr. doom was just plotting to take over the world with mutated vegetables okay okay that make sense it was a defeat that dr. doom wouldn’t soon forget as he joined together with Peter’s other villains to form the swine astir 6a team that also included dr. octopus e cat oh my gosh sand manatee Raven the hunter pork grind who was a wild boar with the Venom symbiote and Moo doc who is an evil cow and the leader of a m-- oh of course they tried to frame Peter for crimes he didn’t commit but Peter was able to defeat the team and clear his name with the help of scavengers members Captain America and Iron Mouse I don’t know if it’s pronounced scavengers or scavengers I’m gonna say scavengers Peter would team up with many other superhero allies in his super heroic adventures including other scavengers members Hulk bunny thir squawk I the pigeon the scarlet pooch quack silver black Panda and ant ant what is third third is dog Thor it’s not a great name Peter also adventured with a pun Fisher goose writer crocked or strange the fantastic fur members mooster fantastic the simian torch invisible gorilla and the thing aka Ben grizzly you elmore I can do this all day he has also fought alongside dear devil Nick furry agent of sheep the sub marsupial and the X bugs against their villain mags Guido someone has way too much time on their hands over there at Marvel seriously I don’t know I love it Peter Parker’s world crossed over with Peter Parker’s during the spider-verse event where he fought alongside dozens of alternate universe spider-man to defeat the inheritors a vampiric race of beings intent on destroying spider powered people to prevent their prophesied destruction spider-ham was instrumental in their defeat by helping recruit many other spider people to the team including penny Parker and her robot spider and he disguised himself as Peter Parker’s baby son Benji Parker whom the inheritors needed for their ritual you can learn more about this in our blue beetle vs. spider-man episode and our batwing vs. ultimate spider-man episode after the events of spider-verse came the latest secret Wars event wherein all of the universes in the multiverse were combined into one planet called battle world there he teamed up with the spider powered beings he fought alongside previously to form a group called the web warriors together they stopped a plot by Norman Osborn to try and usurp the new godlike powers of Doctor Doom and you can learn more about that in our Superman vs Doctor Doom episode after the multiverse was destroyed after the events of secret Wars Peter teamed up with spider Quinn who is the Pinkman version of spider-gwen which is not actually the name of Gwen Stacy spider woman but just the name of her comic anyway spider-ham and spider Gwynn together stopped the villain rink master who was kidnapping and hypnotizing villains from across dimensions to do his bidding and that was his most recent adventure powers wise spider-ham has his innate abilities of a spider meaning he is strong durable agile and can stick to walls but he has the limitations of being a pig he’s an adept hand-to-hand combatant and can use his web-shooters for a variety of web effects including strands to swing from web nets and gooey projectiles he retained his extrasensory sensitivity to oncoming danger known as his spider sense but unlike Peter Parker spider-man Peter porker also has what’s called spider nonsense what’s meaning that the more danger he’s in the more cartoony or his abilities become and that’s spider him what well you know when he brought out the mallet in spider-verse yeah that was part of his spider nonsense all right some of those names were better than others I really dislike Mary Jane water buffalo yes it’s like they started and then they gave up yeah now that the terrific what’s it is a better name than any of those honestly it’s worse let me get to his backstory now if you know a bit about the history of comics you know that superhero comics lost some popularity in the mid 40s like around World War two they really didn’t gain ground again until the Silver Age of comics began in the mid 50s during that decade other genres had gained a foothold in the comic book medium including romance crime and funny animals in 1944 DC Comics unveiled its very first funny animal superhero a parody of the Golden Age flash named the terrific whatsit in funny stuff issue number one so by the time he first appeared DC’s multiverse had been established and the whatsits adventures took place on earth see a dimension inhabited by anthropomorphic animals on strange planets one of these planets the planet Vulcan was about two billion miles from Earth and was inhabited by two all-powerful beings who presided over all that was good and evil on earth there is the kind and just prince highness a dog and the nefarious prince lowness a crocodile a debate raged between the two princes as to how great power would influence a completely honest person of Earth Prince highness argued that an honest person would remain honest well Prince lowness countered that power would corrupt such a pure honest person into becoming dishonest so to settle their debate Prince highness thought into existence a machine capable of locating a completely honest person and teleporting them to Vulcan the machines found Merton McSnurtle the turtle a shock he’s how dare you rag on Marvel’s names Meixner deliciously yeah McSnurtle was a shopkeeper from the town of Zooville who was only completely honest because he was too lazy to ever commit a dishonest deed the machine on Vulcan shot Marin was a transport beam that brought him before the two princes but also damaged his turtle shell in the process while on Vulcan the two princes trained marine and athletics and advanced mathematics knowing that the minimal training on Vulcan would translate into superhuman abilities on earth namely flight super strength and super speed when Martin completed his training the two princes sent him back to his home planet was a new turtle shell that Prince Highness imbued was an automatic conscious conscience a ghost-like apparition the only merton could see that would motivate him and give him clues when needed having returns to earth Martin’s conscience would pester him relentlessly if Marin saw an injustice at which point Merton would take off his turtle shell and go to action as the terrific would say a name derived from the difficulty in recognizing what animal Marin was without his shell okay the terrific whatsit used his abilities to fight alongside the Allies in the second weird war after which he retired from super heroics Moran’s nephew Timmy Joe Terrapin from the okie-dokie swamp carried on Moran’s legacy as a hero called Fastback after he gained SuperSpeed when he was struck by an irradiated meteor fragment that was accidentally knocked into the earth sea dimension by Superman fast Peck was a member of the renowned super team the zoo crew led by Captain carrot during which time fastbacks learned all about the wartime adventures of his uncle the terrific whatsit did the fastback character also take off his shell to fight crime no he kept a shell okay so recently a new version of Martin Mix nurdle just named whatsit has appeared in DC Comics young readers comics and chapter books he’s the pet turtle of Barry Allen and has followed in his owners footsteps to fight crime with a Speed Force suit of his own as what’s it Merton fights alongside other super pets such as ace the bat-hound storm which is Aquaman seahorse Wonder Woman’s pet kangaroo jumpa and of course Krypto the Superdog who you can learn more about in our crypto vs. throguh episode from two years prior those names are so lame where are the puns jumpers a pun no it’s not yeah it’s just better they’re above puns so the DC pet team has helped what’s it keep central city safe from threats like Admiral Peary who is Captain colds Alaskan Husky so with this speed for suit what’s it can travel at super speed which allows him to generate small tornadoes when he spins faster than a circle you could also vibrate his molecules fast enough to pass through solid objects and unlike his Golden Age version whatsit wears a shell under his outfit it’s super durable and he could hide in it for self defense Oh see that’s a good idea that’s what the original whatsit should have done oh then he would have been called the whatsit and that’s true I’m not sure why the new one still is probably in an homage all right so now that we’ve got into the histories of Peter porker and Burton makes nurdle the turtle let’s go ahead and improvise a speculative scenario in how we imagine a fight between these two characters would actually play out one of the 1,000 simulated duels that we run now we don’t set any rules for this scenario that we come up with other than the fact that the characters don’t know anything about each other they just know that the other one is a threat the characters start out about 50 yards apart from each other in an environment that plays no factor on the battle right because we don’t take any statistics for the environment and certain environments can give an advantage to certain characters over others these characters have to win on their own merits so we don’t account for the environment at all so this should be fun spider-ham on one side what’s it on the other side of the battle he’s so much faster okay okay so what’s it starts off just by zipping straight towards spider-ham and just plowing right into him except the spider hams spidey sense goes off and he jumps out of the way at the last minute and once it just runs right underneath him okay well what’s it just keeps running right like like we’re just like a round spider-ham it’s not like spider-ham could even touch him okay well spider-ham shoots a web at what’s it to yank his feet trip him and get him to stop well what’s it’s too fast for his spider-ham to shoot with his webs you just rut yeah he just runs out of the way and it’s part Hamm’s webbing misses okay so what’s it keeps running and spider him he shoots out this like big massive net of webbing not just a strand to try and grab whatsit but you know a net that what’s it can’t outrun oh you think so uh-huh but what’s it could vibrate okay and he disrupted the webbing so he just runs right through the net and he leaves on turtle shaped hole in it okay okay so the spider-ham is gonna go up to the hole like Curious and that’s one of the tension in the web net snaps the web and it just wraps around him trapping him in the zone this is like wily coyote versus roadrunner exactly perfect was perfect okay all right all right so after some an ascertained amount of time when spider-ham has freed himself from the web net he sees what’s a zipping around and he forms this slingshot okay using his webbing on the ground yeah and he pulls himself back and he lights up his rocket-powered roller skates and he sees the what’s a zip by him and he slingshots himself forward and he’s chasing after the what’s that using his rocket-powered roller skates uh-huh and these are making him about as fast as the whatsit itself right he’s speeding up to him and he pulls out his giant wooden sledgehammer and he drops it right onto what’s it okay but right when he’s about to do that once it hits the brakes and just like goes right into a shell so spider-ham like trips over the shell it just goes careening forward the spider-ham slams into the ground and leaves a giant dust cloud and once it just keeps running again okay so after some more planning on the behalf of spider-ham what he does is he rigs this contraption that’s like pulley contraption where he hangs an anvil in the air using his webbing and he’s gonna drop it on the terrific whatsit and in order to get what’s it to stop at the point where the anvil is he puts out this sign that says free turtle food what do turtles eat actually I’ve seen conflicting reports as to what mix nurdles favorite food is it’s either turtle sundaes or shellfish well I mean spider hams not gonna know that anyway so he just puts out a sign that says free pizza whatever everyone loves pizza right especially Turtles so you present a sign that says free pizza with a plate of pizza that’s underneath the hanging anvil and whatsit runs up to this sign that says free pizza okay so what’s it grabs a slice and then he writes something on the sign he writes for spider-ham underneath the free pizza listen breads on all right so spider-ham says Oh free pizza for spider-ham so he goes up and he grabs another slice of pizza and that’s when the anvil is triggered and it falls on spider-ham scratching him into like a flat pancake and then spider-ham rewrites the scientists say ouch alright so spider-ham goes back to the drawing board decides to concoct this like female turtle replica using webbing and green paint okay and what he does is he sticks an ACME dynamite bomb inside of this female turtle replica and it has a fuse that goes out of the turtle’s back to this like trigger plunger switch okay oh it’s like that box with like a handle that you like push down right right exactly okay I don’t know what it’s called but uh anyway yeah that’s what he has that’s it that’s his setup okay okay so what’s it initially probably runs like right past the replica but then like zips right back then like you see like little hearts coming from him so what’s it is trying to seduce the replica I imagine that’s when spider-ham you know pushes in the plunger yeah and activates the bomb and it explodes yeah the box explodes it just explodes right in spider-man’s face and he’s just like looked like this pile of ash in eyeballs look what about the dynamite who knows shoddy wiring yeah you can never trust those things all right okay this plan is gonna work though spider-ham having recouped from being a pile of eyeballs and ash he has dug a tunnel into the ground and carved out like a section of earth okay and he’s put a spring underneath it like a springboard so that when the what’s it runs over this carved out piece of land the spring activates and launches what’s it high up into the air okay okay and he tests it out and everything he knows that it works okay it’s foolproof okay so what’s it he’s running along he doesn’t know that the springboard is in his path he runs right over and then the springboard launches and launches what’s it right into the air except that it doesn’t it actually just stays flat on the ground is happening exactly that’s what what spider-ham wants to know so spider-ham goes up and he’s like I tested this thing what’s happening so he like sticks a toe onto the springboard to try to test it nothing happens so he steps on it and starts jumping on the springboard which of course activates it sent him high into the air and with a slide whistle sound he crashes back into the earth flat as a pancake right next to the spring platform and then just for like no reason the spring platform that’s still kind of like wobbling there’s like slams it’s you have a couple times this is bullshit last chance spider-ham rigs up this giant mirror onto the battlefield okay and once it is going to run into it not knowing that it’s a mirror okay okay okay so what’s it he’s running along he doesn’t seem to notice the mirror and he runs into the mirror off into the distance so spider-ham goes up to the mirror he’s confused you think that he’s test it out by trying to run into the mirror himself but instead since he’s played this game long enough he just shatters the mirror and we all know that flash heroes are weak to mirrors because you know of the mirror master and that my friends is how spider-ham wins this match okay but I say when he goes to shatter the mirror probably with like a tiny little hammer the hammer shatters instead and then the mirror falls on top of him just crushing him shattered all right we can’t possibly take this any further all right that was fun though let’s go ahead and take this match up to the simulations run them and find out which of these characters comes out on top let’s do it I’m not gonna lie I’m a little bit nervous about this just stat-wise like spider-ham crushes it in the stance yeah I mean like compared to what’s it like he’s an anthropomorphic turtle but he exists in a human world so like his strength is is really weak he’s a small turtle after all I mean he does have super speed to back up his physical blows but he’s not nearly as strong as spider-ham he’s also not as good of a fighter doesn’t have as much range he does have more durability and speed and evasiveness right so actually you know what you know they kind of even out especially because the things that whatsit is better at like speed evasive Ness he’s much higher in the stats I mean spider-ham is no slouch himself when it comes to evasive ‘no stood to his super agility and his spider sense but i think this will actually end up closer than you think it will be which is good because i would imagine that a fight between the flash and spider-man would be a close match it would be hard for either one to touch each other just because of the nature of their abilities yeah it was a fun speculation though I didn’t know we were gonna go the roadrunner wily coyote route but it was totally appropriate given the cartoonish nature of these heroes yeah so after inputting the stats and running the simulations who do you think won honestly I kind of agree with Instagram on this one we did a poll on there and worried that whatsit may not have what NEADS and certain stats to be able to topple spider-ham especially when spider-ham is like as versatile as he is you just conjure things that have no where yeah with a spider nonsense I love that but I do have to say I think you are selling what’s a little bit short as our our poll takers because the winner of this matchup is spider-ham fucka but he only won 514 matches out of the 1000 that’s actually closer than I thought it would be same here actually and winning 514 matches means that spider-ham only 128 more battles overall than what’s it did which is right within the margin of error for these simulations it’s like plus or minus 25 meaning that this matchup is technically a coin toss it’s a 50/50 split and if I were to run another thousand simulations it’s possible that what’s it could come out on top if 514 isn’t just on the low end for spider Hamm’s win right right right I’m just wondering if this means that Spider Man would beat the flash I don’t think it does because Barry Allen is obviously smarter and stronger than what’s it that’s right but it is honestly yeah closer than I thought it would be well good matchups Iran this holiday episode you as well I mean I would like it a lot more if I had actually won but peace on earth and goodwill to all anthropomorphic animals yeah peace on earth until our next duel episode which will be next week we’re gonna do another duel matchup with Marvel and DC characters where we find out who would win in a fight between dr. Manhattan from Watchmen and molecule man I don’t even know who that is this is gonna be really interesting this next matchup might be the first episode in which the DC character is more popular than the Marvel character I’m sorry what you heard me that’s not even true Batman and moon night best like the only other example but that’s just because everyone knows the Batman is yeah because he’s awesome but this of course will tie into our watchmen to review that we’re gonna do the week after that and of course by Watchmen I mean the TV series that’s on HBO right now yeah if you guys aren’t watching that show definitely check it out because it is amazing it’s really really good and this will be the first series that we review from HBO or Disney Plus right exactly which we’re gonna start doing once the season wraps up since they’re not releasing all the episodes at once so look forward to that in the upcoming weeks let us know what you guys thought about this episode by reaching out to us at dynamic doll podcast at gmail.com or on social media on facebook Instagram or Twitter don’t forget that on Facebook we currently have a fundraiser going on raising money for the charity organization called pop culture classroom so if you could visit us on Facebook and donate toward that cause help promote children literacy and education through comic books it’s a great cause and of course we will be donating artwork of whatsit and spider-ham to one lucky donor the artwork is actually our podcast cover for this week just sans color correct yes it’s a black and white drawing done by Nathan Santa Steven who’s an amazing artist go ahead and look him up if you haven’t his cartoonish creature work is just unparalleled he is among the best at that it is his niche please don’t forget to share subscribe rate and review the podcast whatever platform you’re listening to us on it goes a long way in spreading the word of the show yeah we’re not looking to get to 200 ratings on on iTunes anymore but you know we’re always looking to expand our audience special thanks to executive producers John Spees and boto winter that does it for the show we’ll talk to you guys next week up up and away true believers

Start listening to Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review
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Start listening to Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review
50:37