Cheetah vs Rhino

[Music] hi and welcome to the dynamic duel podcast a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority between marvel and dc by comparing their characters in stat based battle simulations i’m marvelous joe and i’m his twin brother johnny dc and in this episode leading up to the wonder woman 1984 review that’s coming out next week we’re going to find out who would win in a fight between the wonder woman villain cheetah who’s going to be in that movie and the spider-man villain rhino they’re both animalistic villain characters have the abilities of speed and strength and they both have like sharp weapons so we think this is a pretty good matchup and it’s definitely a good way to build hype for the upcoming film yeah i can’t believe i get to watch wonder room in 1984 finally this week after so many release date shifts it’s finally happening and i can’t wait until the next episode the cheetah was never a character that i knew too much about so doing research for her was was pretty interesting and you can look forward to that match later on this episode yeah before that we’re going to break down the comic book movie news from this past week before the movie news though we’re going to talk about mine jonathan’s experience receiving three colorado podcast awards one for best colorado podcast one for best sound design and the last one of our best co-hosts it was so amazing and we want to share that with you guys later on after that we’re going to talk about the wonder woman 1984 opening scene trailer that was unveiled during the dc fandom virtual world premiere we’re also going to talk about how cyclone was cast in the black adam movie and finally we’re going to discuss the new marvel studios legends television series that’s going to hit disney plus early in january as always we list our segment times in our episode description so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a particular topic just a quick reminder guys that this show currently has a fundraiser going we’re raising money for the pop culture classroom nonprofit organization that promotes literacy and learning for disadvantaged youths through educational programs based around things like comic books and pop culture media it’s a great organization we’re not asking for monetary donations from you guys all we’re asking is that you give us a rating on podchaser.com and for each rating that we get we will donate a dollar to the charity right now i think we have about 24 ratings and we’re trying to get above  donation that we gave to that non-profit so if you’re listening to this and you’re questioning about whether or not you should give us a rating on podchaser.com definitely do it it only takes a minute of your time and it’s for a good cause and don’t forget everyone who participates will have the opportunity to download original helix and herbie art drawn by artist matt turner so when we say it’s a win for everyone we really mean it yeah please definitely take advantage of this guys when you get a chance but with that all out of the way quick to the no prize a no prize is an award that marvel used to give out up until the 90s to fans our version the dynamic duel no prize is a digital award that we post on social media that i personally draw for those who we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week for last week we asked you guys to settle a debate between jonathan and myself over what was the better most exciting event of 2020 the dc fandom or the disney investors day and it heated up some animosity between our listeners which did which is what i like to see i like that we got a lot of answers and we have a list of honorable mentions to run down as well as the no prize winner our first honorable mention goes to jeff miles jr who said that the dc fandom was definitely better because we already knew what was coming with marvel shows and movies and we’ve known that for like two years old news he also said that i was right that nothing that came out from the marvel event came close to topping that batman trailer i mean when he says that we already knew what was coming with marvel with shows and movies that’s actually not entirely true because we did get quite a few new announcements during that event but i think the most exciting and majority of the stuff we did know about and none of it was better than the batman trailer our next honorable mention goes to jay moldenhauer salazar who said that he was more excited by the marvel’s investors day because the mcu consistently puts out high quality stuff and the sheer volume of projects that are headed our way starting in january has been amazingly hyped according to him only some dc films and tv shows are great but there’s some real stinkers out there and basically it boils down to that he always enjoys an mcu film while with the dc films he’s always holding his breath heading into them hoping that they’re good which i think is a valid perspective you know and look at birds of prey that came out earlier this year okay fair but also look at like watchmen that’s like the best comic book show that’s ever come out ever it’s like dc has its lows but they also have the highest of highs like end game high i don’t know watchmen was better than endgame oh [ __ ] that’s going to be the new question of the week our final honorable mention goes to calvin mims who said that the dc fandom was definitely better and this is probably because it was geared toward fans and had more hype built up to it for the dc fandom he set a whole day aside to sit in his room with a bowl of popcorn as compared to marvel’s investors day when he just found out all the news by scrolling through instagram well jokes on you that’s how i found out about all the dc fandom news that’s not true you watched some of it okay i did watch some of it liar i will concede the fact that i do wish that the marvel investor meeting was not just geared toward the investors and that they did actually make a fan event out of it given that we didn’t get any sort of comic-con type of event this year it would have been nice if they had done that for the fans and not just the investors well luckily for you they do that d23 convention for like all things disney disney has its own convention they just don’t do it every year right yeah so that’ll be next year and they may have to do that virtually as well but we’ll see hopefully things with kovid have calmed down by then before we announce the winners of this week’s no prize we want to run down the list of everyone who sent us an answer thank you guys so much for taking the time to participate including brandon estergaard nightwing superman alex fowler richard mcgrew michael hagerty matt estes mike jones calvin john dela merced mike luther and maggie madinghian yeah thank you guys so much for interacting with us but the winners of this week’s no prize go to robert leblanc and dustin balcom robert said that he thought the marvel investor meeting blew away dc comics for one simple reason in that dc for him stands for don’t care damn is my new favorite phrase but he said in all seriousness he thinks marvel announced a lot more and so many different media types from fantastic four to im groot so he’s really looking forward to the marvel stuff i’m not sure what he’s talking about media types because when it came to the dc fandom not only did we have movies and tv but we also had video games and comic books true so a lot more a lot more media types with the dc fandom don’t care damn it yes dustin balcom also gets this week’s no prize for saying that although he was hyped for the investors day that disney put out dc’s fandom was more of an experience between the fans and the creators and not just tv and movie news but also video games like i mentioned and fan events like the jim lee art critiquing in his panel he said he was more hyped and sat by his computer waiting for the next event whereas the investors day he just waited to hear what came out through the news yeah that’s totally valid like i said earlier i do wish that marvel made their investors meeting a little bit more fan based even though you know its purpose was to inform the investors all in all we got 14 answers and nine of them chose dc fandom as the better experience so i gotta say apparently dc is winning  and i gotta say don’t care oh it’s the best thank you so much robert but congrats again to robert and dustin for winning this week’s snow prize if you the listener want a shot at winning your own no prize stay tuned to later on this episode when we’ll be asking another question of the week and now that that’s done on to the news [Music] okay guys so a few days ago the house of pod organization in denver colorado hosted the second annual colorado podcast awards for which our podcast was nominated in several categories including best colorado podcast best sound design best host slash team and best fans now based on our experience from last year’s awards um i wasn’t expecting jonathan and i to get too much recognition from the greater colorado podcasting community but i was really expecting that we were going to win the best fans award because it’s obvious we have the best fans right if you remember from a few episodes ago we kind of detailed our experience from from last year in which we were also nominated for multiple awards but we didn’t take home a single one and in fact the first time that they announced our name as one of the nominees we heard some laughter so it cut deep it really really did yeah but it was really nice to get nominated again and to actually feel like we got some of that respect back from our podcasting peers because jonathan and i actually won the best colorado podcast award the best host slash team award and best sound design which i totally was not expecting no we did not win best fans that went to a show called cut the small talk uh which is an amazing show based around a sort of a barbershop talk kind of feel it was very well deserved for them but i think my main takeaway was that while i felt kind of hurt from what happened last year there are people in our field that legitimately care about the stuff that we do and that was that was just really nice yeah we won three out of the five awards this year which was completely unexpected we wrote an acceptance speech beforehand but only for the best fans award so when it came down to winning the actual best colorado podcast we had sort of thanked everyone by that point we’d already thanked everyone we had wanted to and i almost died from embarrassment because uh [Laughter] when it came down to winning that award i didn’t know what else to say so i started reading from our acceptance speech for best fans and just like ron burgundy [Laughter] i specifically called out winning the best fans award yeah and of course immediately joseph started texting me saying you idiot you blew it yeah and i had to interrupt him and i had to tell everybody um it’s not the best fans award we know that we’re currently accepting the best colorado podcast award so i think i was just like still in such shock that i didn’t even realize what was coming out of my mouth i was just on autopilot i feel like such an idiot but at the same time i’m also like incredibly honored and thankful that we won these awards and like i can’t mess that up no matter how many mistakes i make like i still have that golden microphone award yeah and that means a lot to me yeah and it’s all thanks to you guys all of you that voted for us the fans to get us nominated and the people in the industry who voted for us to actually win it means a huge deal because when you start out making a podcast and some of you may know this it does feel occasionally like you’re speaking into a void and when you get any sort of feedback whether it be through a review or a rating or even through these awards it’s nice to know that there is an audience out there and that you’re not just you know speaking into your microphone that people are listening and they’re appreciating it so these awards that we won guys they go to you because that’s who we make this show for yes you listening right now you are the reason that we make this show and we’re incredibly grateful that you listen and we hope that you continue doing so for as long as we do make this show yeah it means a lot thank you guys for those of you guys who want to hear jonathan’s hilarious mistake talking about the best fans award during the best colorado podcast acceptance speech i will be including that in our next blooper reel that we are offering to our patrons of course you are all right it’s so good all right moving on to the comic book movie news yeah last week uh wonder woman 1984 had its virtual world premiere on the dc fandom website which was pretty cool i didn’t attend it live but those who did did get to make like an appearance on the screen for everyone to see and it was so cool to see like everyone dressed up in their cosplay and stuff like that it was pretty amazing they got to ask questions of gal gadot and patty jenkins and the rest of the cast it was pretty cool we also got i can’t quite say behind the scenes look at han zimmer and his orchestra but they played the entire like end credits song for us we got to see how he sort of transformed his original wonder woman theme that he made for batman v superman you know the one that goes yeah yeah we got to see how he tweaked that motif into something much more triumphant and brassy for this film which was that’s really cool yeah they ended the event with a new i don’t want to call it a trailer but it kind of is like the final trailer for the film it’s the opening scene for the movie yeah followed by like a quick little sizzle reel snippet of the movie exactly what did you think of the opening scene i was actually kind of thrown by wonder woman’s narration i forgot that that’s how they opened the first film yeah i always expect gal gadot’s voice to come off like really sweet but it’s actually kind of like rough and harsh yeah it comes across like she smokes too much you know i’m not sure if she even does smoke but it’s it’s very raspy she’s gorgeous on the outside but i am willing to bet that she does not have the best singing voice i think we all kind of learned that with the whole i could only imagine oh you know that went down that’s right but it looks like the film is going to start off on the mascara with diana as a little girl and she’s running to partake in these amazonian games sort of like the olympics and some of these events were pretty interesting yeah yeah they were i think quite a few of them will actually like foreshadow maybe some feats that diana will be doing later on in the movie definitely the whip swinging for sure yeah that looked very similar to her lasso of truth swinging along the lightning bolts shot that we’ve seen in a previous trailer yeah we also got a look at the most hilarious version of quidditch that i’ve ever seen uh it was played on horseback and there was one shot of one of the amazonians like going up and like dunking the ball into the hoop and it was hilarious because like it was so ungraceful the way she did it it almost looked like a blooper but in the next shot when she’s shown landing she’s landing like as gracefully as an amazonian can it’s it’s kind of hilarious but other than that i thought that these games were actually pretty cool i think the little girl actress that they got to play diana is the same one that they had from the first movie and her interaction with antiope is just fantastic i love it you know we’re like diana is like super confident and antiope is like just make sure you learn a lesson from this you know greatness is not what you think and that was an interesting line it’s a theme that i think i’m sure will be explored throughout the film yeah possibly i do like how they didn’t discourage her once the games kick off you know we see little diana running and like almost all of the promotional material for this film they cut between her running as a little girl and her as an adult running through the streets of washington dc yeah from there we don’t get much new material except for the last shot when kristen wiig’s character complements diana prince on her cheetah print shoes yeah yeah that was kind of like a throwaway joke yeah what’s up with dc doing like all these throwaway jokes at the end of their trailers kind of like how you were talking about with falcon and the winter soldier i was wondering the same thing i was like what the heck is this a marvel trailer we also did get new footage of wonder woman like using her lasso to swat away a bullet which i thought was really cool oh yeah that was pretty interesting they’re always using the lasso in new and interesting ways in these films in ways that i just never imagined from the comics kind of makes you wonder how you could reuse it in uh thor versus wonder woman rematch or something yeah yeah yeah totally i wonder if she would be able to like swing off of thor’s lightning bolts that’d be weird or like off of his hammer as it’s like going through the air that’s really the whole trailer again this film is coming out on hbo max and in theaters on christmas day i will be seeing it on hbo max from home but i’m really curious to hear what you guys will be doing and that brings us to our question of the week will you be watching wonder room in 1984 in theaters or at home on hbo max this weekend and why post your answer to our instagram twitter facebook or email us at dynamicduelpodcast gmail.com we’ll pick our favorite answer and draw that person a dynamic duel no prize that will post to social media be sure to answer before december 27th because that’s when we recorded in next episode in other dc news quintessa swindell has been cast as cyclone in the black adam film now cyclone was teased during the dc fandom event when the rock had his panel to talk about the film and the concept art they released for her was done by boss logic it’s been very different from what the casting has been and probably more based on the comics than anything yeah it’s turning out to be quite the diverse cast that they have going here of course we know that aldous hodge is going to be hawkman noah centineo is going to be adam smasher and now quintesses suendel is going to be cyclone not only a person of color but also non-binary and goes by they in them pronouns i don’t actually think cyclone will be non-binary in the film the character does have a heteronormative romantic relationship with adam smasher in the comics and you know he’s in the film so i would be surprised if they didn’t play up on that angle but we’ll see i was under the impression that they were going to save someone who’s you know transgender or non-binary for dr fate because if you remember from our doctor fate versus dr strange episode the true form of dr fate has both a female and male aspect to it yeah i wouldn’t have been surprised if they kind of went with like a xerxes from 300 route with dr fate which is kind of very androgynous you know and it is still possible that they might do that yeah dr fate’s costume is so androgynous to begin with you know with the helmet and everything yeah but i’m still really hoping that the doctor fate role goes to odette fair or to uh mina masad who was the actor who played aladdin i think both of those guys would be great in that role yeah yeah that’d be really cool we should be getting that dr fake casting like any day now i would think yeah i’m still hoping that they they give us a release date pretty soon here as well it was supposed to come out next christmas but now we don’t know when it’s going to come out since they start filming soon i imagine it’s sooner than most other dc projects yeah we’ll let you guys know when we know in our last bit of news we learned this past week that disney plus is going to have yet another marvel show on its platform that wasn’t announced during the investor meeting but it’s going to be called marvel studios legends which they say celebrates and codifies all the mcu continuity that has come before for certain characters it’s basically a recap show and we’ll let people know who haven’t necessarily seen the movies what these characters are about what they’ve gone through and kind of give a background on their history and abilities it sounds very similar to what they were proposing the nick fury secret file show would be and that never came out yeah earlier this year it was reported by disney themselves that they were gonna release this nick fury secret file show and then it just never came out it just never happened it’s like they just forgot about it yeah and it’s entirely possible that they kind of reworked it to be this marvel studios legends show now it’s not something that we’ll be reviewing on this podcast because it is a recap series after all but i’m definitely looking forward to it and i think it’s a brilliant move on behalf of marvel to get audiences caught up who may not necessarily have seen all of the marvel studios films and television shows especially since like the entire world just took like a one year break from the mcu it’ll be nice to have these refreshers yeah just to jump back in the rumor right now is that they’re releasing an episode for vision and for scarlet witch prior to one division coming out right yeah i heard that too i’m really interested in seeing what these episodes entail the show will be released a few weeks before one division so that should give audiences plenty of time to get caught up i’m just so happy that we’re gonna get new mcu stuff soon even if it is repackaged yeah you marvel fans will take anything right now i mean wouldn’t you that’s fair that’s fair but i think that does it for all the news for this episode so let’s go ahead and get into our main event where we find out who would win in a fight between the wonder woman villain cheetah and the spider-man and hulk villain rhino [Music] okay cheetah versus rhino again this cheetah duel is in lead up to the upcoming wonder woman 1984 film so i’m really looking forward to learning about who she is what she can do and especially how bad she’s gonna lose to rhino now a lot of people have come to us suggesting that cheetah should go up against tigra from marvel because she’s a similar character in that she’s essentially a jungle cat furry character yeah i think most people who make that suggestion don’t actually know too much about cheetah they’re not considering the fact that she goes toe-to-toe with wonder woman so she’s incredibly strong incredibly fast and way too much of a match for a character like tigra yeah eventually we will get tigra in a duel match but i’m not sure who we’re gonna put her up against just yet but she’s quite a prominent avengers member in their history so eventually yeah look forward to that we always knew that we were gonna do a cheetah duel episode to tie into the wonder roman movie but of course that got pushed back so many times we never really came up with a match for cheetah until recently discussing it with our executive producers i think it was actually your idea to put her against rhino yeah it kind of came to me when i was thinking of like african animal based super villains i think it’ll be a great matchup but i’m really excited to see who will win now if you’ve never listened to one of our duel episodes before the way we determine a winner between these two characters is by running 1000 monte carlo simulations using their statistics now what’s a monte carlo simulation well it’s a probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random sampling in our case it randomizes statistics along a normal distribution which is a bell curve as a way to simulate the many variables that can occur during battle the stat parameters we use are based off of the official marvel power grid and we use that criteria to extrapolate the dc character stats we’ve included some additional stat categories of our own such as range damage potential and perception in order to create a more complete and robust simulation running these 1000 simulations gives us a percentage of wins for each character and we declare the one with the higher percentage to be the ultimate victor given that they’re more likely to win any given battle no character has ever won 100 of the time comics has shown that there’s always a way for batman to defeat superman and we feel our method falls in line with the precedents that have been established in the comic book stories and we use this method because it was the least subjective most unbiased way to determine who would win of course joseph and i are both heavily biased toward our respective allegiances and instead of debating these matches forever we just let the math decide for us so there’s no fan votes here and no relying on just feats before we run the simulations though we like to break down each character’s histories and abilities before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the 1000 simulations we run would play out beat for beat and i think jonathan it’s your turn to go first with the dc characters bio so let’s hear all about cheetah now there have been four separate characters to hold the mantle of cheetah in dc comics but each of them have been fierce antagonists of wonder roman who you can learn more about in our wonder woman vs thor episode the first cheetah a woman named priscilla rich was a creation of dr william moulton marston in 1943. dr marston who is also the creator of wonder roman was a psychologist who wanted his feminist hero to go up against allegories of emotional misalignment priscilla rich was an aristocratic debutant and charity organizer who was meant to represent envy as despite priscilla’s successes and high status and society she was jealous and resentful of wonder woman priscilla set up a trap for one woman intending to kill her but was herself accidentally caught in it and ultimately rescued by wonder woman unable to cope with the circumstances priscilla was driven insane and developed a split personality that of a treacherous and relentless huntress intent on destroying wonder woman after fashioning a suit from a cheetah skin rug she took up the name cheetah and would go on to frame wonder woman for misdeeds and sell us military secrets to the japanese during world war ii she even eventually made her way to themyscira the hidden home of the amazons where she stole queen hippolyta’s golden girdle of gaia giving her the strength and speed to go toe-to-toe with wonder woman wonder woman managed to remove cheetah’s girdle however restoring priscilla’s personality who was allowed to live on themschira until her mind was healed unfortunately when priscilla left the maschira she returned to crime for a short while before retiring by the 1980s priscilla was an elderly woman occasionally cared for by her niece deborah domain an environmental activist and friend of wonder woman the cobra cult attempted to recruit cheetah to their organization but after realizing her alter ego was the elderly priscilla rich they instead kidnapped deborah and tortured and brainwashed her into becoming the new cheetah after the crisis on infinite earth’s event merged all realities into one deborah’s existence as the cheetah was erased from continuity and priscilla rich was retconned to be the villain of wonder woman’s mom hippolyta when she fought alongside the allies in world war ii making wonder woman’s first canonical encounter with the villain cheetah when the mantle was assumed by a british heiress and archaeologist named dr barbara ann minerva barbara set up an expedition to africa to find a lost matriarchal tribe rumored to be protected by a female guardian imbued with the powers of a cheetah their witch doctor guide however led barbara’s expedition team into a trap where they were captured in order to serve as human sacrifices to the lost tribe’s bloodthirsty patron deity urzkataga barbara managed to escape and hide with one other colleague and together they followed their capture team into the lost tribes hidden city as the tribe began the ritual to restore their cheetah guardian a rival tribe ambushed them and killed all of their tribe save for the rituals high priest named chuma who was rescued by barbara the two hid inside of a cave where chuma explained that he could save barbara granting her immortality and power by performing the ritual of ursula targa and turning her into the cheetah guardian slash wife of the deity after murdering her colleague to act as the human sacrifice barbara drank a potion made from human blood and the ersker targa plant turning her skin orange and spotted as she transformed into a cheetah human hybrid she emerged from the cave and slaughtered all of the lost city invaders unfortunately for barbara the ritual was supposed to be performed on a virgin so what should have been a blessing ended up being a curse she found herself experiencing uncontrollable bloodlust as a cheetah and pain and fatigue when human chuma helped her return to her camp and she brought him back with her to england where she learned she could only retain her cheetah form when she drank or sipped another’s blood along with the potion weird when one woman emerged on the scene the archaeologist’s side of barbara became obsessed with the mythic artifacts one woman carried with her initially barbara tried befriending wonder woman as an archaeologist to steal her artifacts but when she accidentally confessed her true intentions to wonder woman while holding the lasso of truth barbara was forced to steal the lasso later as the cheetah obsessed with learning more about the lasso barbara did extensive research on amazonian history and eventually discovered the hidden city state of bona mcdowell in egypt home to a rogue sect of amazons wonder woman followed her there but was unable to stop cheetah from killing the queen of bonna mcdoll chuma was killed by the amazons and wonder woman managed to defeat cheetah imprisoning her afterward barbara eventually escaped her prison and in the years that followed served as both a foe and friend to wonder woman both saving each other’s lives on occasion eventually an argentinian businessman named sebastian baesteros who was the lover of the wonder woman villain cersei managed to convince the god erska targa that barbara was not worthy of wielding the power of the cheetah first katarga removed his power from barbara and gave it to sebastian instead making him the first and only male cheetah after several years however barbara managed to track down sebastian and killed him offering him as a sacrifice to urge katarga who bestowed barbara once more with the powers of the cheetah eventually the cheetah rescued from prison the flash villain known as zoom who you can learn more about in our flash versus speedball episode in return zoom helped her increase her speed since her powers are magic based zoom reasoned that any barriers holding her back would be psychological so barbara in order to be the one true cheetah murdered priscilla rich who had condemned barbara for being the cheetah in her autobiography now much faster than before barbara joined zoom in the secret society of super villains and the two became lovers barbara also received aid from the wonder woman villain cersei who gave her a potion that allowed her to transform between her forms at will without feeling pain and maintaining her speed and strength as a human cersei tricked barbara however as once she took the potion barbara was under cersei’s control barbara managed to betray cersei however and helped wonder woman defeat her after the flashpoint and rebirth events reset dc’s continuity barbara was one of the first to meet wonder woman when she came to man’s world as an archaeologist barbara was the world’s foremost expert on amazonian culture formerly believed to be a myth and she was able to communicate with the wonder woman when no one else could barbara helped wonderland get acclimated to her new surroundings and learn the ways of man’s world wonder woman villain veronica kale manipulated barbara into taking an expedition into the deep african jungle to investigate the lost tribe of ursgatarga at which point events played out similarly to prior flashpoint continuity but now as wonder woman’s best friend barbara blamed wonder woman for not coming to her rescue and preventing her transformation into a savage hybrid beast and bride of a bloodthirsty god when wonder woman was unable to locate themschira she tracked down barbara and the african jungle and pleaded for her help in locating her former home barbara agreed to help her as long as wonder woman agreed to kill urzcartaga woodrumen agreed and managed to kill the bloodthirsty god curing barbara of the cheetah curse and barbara helped wonder woman locate the mascara once more veronica kale however later manipulated barbara again into becoming a new version of the cheetah in order to save the lives of wonder woman’s friends steve trevor and etta candy veronica kayla is sort of like a lex luthor type character she’s a scientist who owns business and has a ton of resources she was able to recreate the cheetah potion without the tie to the deity now powers-wise cheetah can move nearly as fast as the flash and is capable of catching speedsters like him and superman off guard she’s also as strong as wonder woman and nearly as durable she has sharp claws and fangs and has enhanced senses that’s cheetah how fast is nearly as fast as the flash is that like quicksilver speed like sonic speeds it’s ill-defined i would definitely say it’s at a minimum supersonic okay yeah that’s pretty fast that’s kind of what wonder woman is she’s like super sonic right yeah but cheetah is faster than wonder woman oh rhino is pretty fast oh yeah is he super sonic no not nearly he’s about as fast as the hulk he has to accelerate to that speed too but what he lacks in speed he makes up for in other areas let me tell you all about him now rhino’s real name is alexis sitsevich who was a poor immigrant from russia who moved to new york city as a young man hoping to earn money to send back to his family with little education and no real skills alexi struggled in trying to find work and make a living though his large physical build and impressive strength did make him a desirable recruit for criminal organizations who hired him as an enforcer for their illegal activities one day alexi was contacted by former kgb scientists who presented him with an offer to earn some easy money by volunteering for some dangerous experiments involving gamma radiation the same radiation that transformed bruce banner into the hulk which you can learn more about in our doomsday vs hulk duel episode dimwitted and eager for cash to support his family alexei agreed to participate in the experiments not fully comprehending what the process entailed over the course of several months the former soviet scientists subjected him to intensive radioactive treatments that vastly increased his strength and speed they also performed a chemical procedure that bonded a highly durable polymer to his skin that rendered him virtually impervious to physical harm the armor was modeled after a rhinoceros hide and they dubbed him the rhino the ultimate super assassin specializing in armored assault shocked at what he had become permanently confined to his rhino suit alexi destroyed the scientist’s laboratory and escaped the facility free from his benefactor’s authority he used his new abilities to take on his own jobs his first gig was to kidnap astronaut john jameson the son of daily bugle newspapers editor-in-chief jay jonah jameson though he was successful in snatching up jameson spider-man outsmarted and defeated alexi he was sent to prison under heavy sedation though he smashed out of his cell a few weeks later to try and complete his kidnapping commission in his second encounter spider-man reworked his webbing formula with help from dr kurt connors so that it was imbued with a highly concentrated acid that could dissolve alexis rhino armor in his weaker state alexi was again defeated and imprisoned alexia was soon busted out of jail by the former soviet scientists who presented him with the new acid-proof suit of rhino armor he was sent to capture gamma radiation scientist bruce banner however during galaxy’s ambush bruce turned into the hulk and the two powerhouses duked it out the hulk who gets stronger as his rage increases overpowered alexi and beat him nearly into a coma his unconscious body was then overtaken by the telepathic hulk villain known as the leader who mentally controlled alexi into attacking the hulk again in order to force him aboard a rocket ship that blasted into outer space the ship eventually crash-landed back on earth and hulk escaped the wreckage but alexi was buried beneath it for some time he later teamed up with the abomination against the hulk joined a supervillain team called the emissaries of evil and fought against the defenders and teamed up with green goblin against spider-man the latter collaboration being an attempt to raise money to bring his family from russia to the united states alexei’s family however was too disgusted to join him after learning about his unlawful means of earning money now desperate to rid himself of the rhino mantle alexi tried to raise the funds to get his armored suit removed he joined the sinister syndicate which is an expanded version of the sinister six and later worked for the kingpin who had the resources to help him the kingpin found alexi too valuable an ally though and conspired to make sure the rhino armor was never removed learning this alexi kidnapped the daughter of one of the scientists involved in the removal procedure and forced them to finally perform the operation free of the rhino alexi retired to mexico but he was pulled back into organized crime when the kingpin reminded him that he would be a marked man wherever he went reluctantly alexi contracted the iron man villain justin hammer to build him a new removable version of the rhino armor his heart wasn’t in the criminal game however and he tried to romantically pursue a woman named stella she coldly told him that he was too stupid to be taken seriously emotionally wounding galaxy he volunteered for an experimental brain operation in order to increase his intelligence what and with his new vast intellect alexi easily battered spider-man after deducing his secret identity as peter parker he also ran away with stella wrote a novel and amassed a great deal of wealth however alexi ended up so smart that he soon found life meaningless he dumped stella for being too dim-witted and eventually developed a way to reverse his intelligence granting procedure oh my gosh he spent his entire fortune to make himself quote a little bit stupider than before stupid but happy spending his days crashing through walls alexi was later hired by the villain claw to assist in his invasion of wakanda home of the black panther alexi impressively managed to get through several of wakanda’s defense perimeters but he was stopped through knockout gases deployed by wakandan air support alexi became black panther’s prisoner for a while who refused to extradite him for working with claw later alexi was captured by craven the hunter who was amassing a zoo collection of sorts of animal-themed heroes and villains he was rescued by the punisher who actually let alexi live since he saved the punisher’s life and aided him in a case finding comfort in working with the good guys alexei decided to finally give up his life of crime entirely and surrendered to the police pleading guilty to all charges he was sentenced to 25 years in rikers island prison and rejected all attempts by others to recruit him back into the criminal lifestyle even denying an opportunity to escape for this alexi was granted early parole and he enjoyed a quiet life living in a small apartment in yonkers falling in love and marrying a waitress a new and improved rhino villain came after alexi believing that he had to destroy the old rhino to earn the mantle spider-man managed to stop the new rhino and alexi swore to his old foe that he wouldn’t get involved and he went into hiding with his new wife before they got to the safe house however the new rhino attacked again and killed alexi’s wife grief stricken alexi donned his old rhino armor and broke his promise to spider-man by destroying the new rhino in one hit and killing the man inside the armor alexi retreated to mexico in mourning and was approached by the spider-man villain known as the jackal who was known for his advanced cloning technology you can learn more about the clone saga in our blue beetle vs spider-man duel episode jackal asked alexi to come work for him in exchange for cloning his deceased wife alexi agreed and worked as a security guard at jackal’s labs enjoying time spent with his resurrected love dr octopus though eventually caused all the clones at the lab to break down at the cellular level and dissolve and alexi went on the rampage spider-man managed to calm him down though telling him to honor her death by being the man she would have wanted him to be keeping his head down and always moving forward and that’s his history powers-wise rhino’s abilities are as uncomplicated as the man himself he was made incredibly strong through his gamma radiation enhancements and is able to lift 100 tons in addition to his enhanced durability he has a suit of armor made from a polymer that renders him impervious to any physical damage like the hulk he’s impressively fast for his size able to accelerate to running speeds approaching 100 miles per hour if given enough distance though it is difficult for him to pivot and change direction once he gets going his armor is equipped with two razor sharp horns atop his head which can puncture through steel and that’s the rhino how fast did you say he was he can accelerate the speeds of about 100 miles per hour so he could bash himself through steel what are his horns made of um i believe it’s a compound similar to what his armor is made out of his armor baffles me like i don’t get why the scientists would make it look so much like a rhino even like down to like the rhino ears they’re trying to send a message kind of like how the rhino was the result of like countless centuries of evolution toward like the ultimate armored animal it’s a stretch yeah totally but that does it for their histories and abilities now let’s speculate on how one of the 1000 simulated matches will go the winner is determined by simulations not this speculation but it’s fun to imagine how this could play out we don’t set any rules for this match other than the characters don’t know anything about each other going in except that the character is a threat that needs to be put down and we say that they start off about 50 meters apart in an environment that has no bearing on the match itself because we don’t take stats for the environment yeah plus certain characters have advantages in some environments over others and we want these characters to win on their own merit so let’s get into it the characters meet on the battlefield who goes first don’t answer that i already know you’re gonna say like oh the faster person goes first cheetah’s gonna go first but yeah i think it’s actually the dumber person is gonna go first and rhino he’s just gonna charge head first into this thing literally by just dashing toward cheetah and though he looks big and cumbersome he actually moves really fast he’s gonna dash over at cheetah faster than she even thought would be possible for this big lunk of a dude okay but not faster than she could react like easily to okay so as he gets close she just leaps over his attack landing behind him and then she she swiftly slashes at his like achilles tendons with her razor sharp claws oh really okay her claws that do pretty much nothing against his armored hide like he wouldn’t even feel that excuse me these claws are capable of slashing at wonder woman and breaking her skin and superman well first of all wonder woman doesn’t wear thick armor like that and second of all superman is vulnerable to magic anyway and her powers are magic based right that’s a good point so i’m gonna say that they might leave like the teensiest like scratch lines on his armor but she’s not like gonna be eviscerating his tendons like she wants to to rhino they’re like less than cat scratches and he just keeps running because he’s already going and once he starts going it’s just hard for him to stop okay so cheetah is going to pounce on torano’s back as he keeps charging forward and she’s just gonna like bite him in the shoulder and if you think cat scratches won’t do anything a bite force is much stronger than a scratch force yeah yeah rhino doesn’t even feel it against armor he just keeps running his armor is too durable for scratches and bites i have no idea what cheetah is going to be able to do to him but uh you know good luck how does he not feel like a really forceful bite into his shoulder it’s more like a small pinch geez okay so then while cheetah is still on his back she’s gonna like reach her claws in front of his face and just raking her claws across his skin just leaving deep claw marks and just blinding both of his eyes oh you discovered his one weakness his unarmored face um yeah that’s gonna hurt him for sure he is fairly durable given that he still has undergone you know the gamma radiation treatments in addition to his armor but something sharp like that is definitely going to hurt him he doesn’t get both of his eyes scratched out but we’ll say you know maybe one okay rhino definitely felt that this time so he starts slowing down his running and he leaps up into the air swinging his front legs out and landing on his back in an attempt to crush cheetah underneath his massive weight okay cheetah gets smashed under his weight but just how like rhino is faster than he looks cheetah is more durable than she looks you know again she’s able to take blows from wonder woman and other members of the justice league she’s durable and strong so she just lifts rhino off of her and just like stands up holding him into the air from his back so he’s just like flailing his arms and legs in the air like not sure what to do he’s like what the hell is happening just kicking and squirming and cheetah is just gonna like hurl rhino through the air away from her just like sending him crashing really hard into the ground i bet you rhinos just so surprised by what just happened and you know he gets really angry by this like he gets enraged and he gets up and he snorts and he stomps his feet and he charges again he’s kind of a one-trick pony um when it comes to his attacks he never really learns his lessons so he’s going to charge at her again at an accelerated speed just slamming into her with his sharp rhino horns he doesn’t learn his lesson because he did this cheetah is just way too fast for this to work so as he approaches you know cheetah will just like leap into the air and then wrap her legs around rhino’s head like a luchador okay oh like black widow yeah yeah yeah exactly just like black widow so she’s just gonna like twist his head in midair just using his momentum to like force his horned head to charge directly into the ground just getting him like stuck upside down right into the ground so his horn is stuck into the ground he’s upside down he’s probably kicking and flailing again exactly and as he’s doing that she is just doing this flurry of hyper-fast claw slashes and she begins to like cut down rhinos armor just like bit by bit and before long she exposes his gut you know just probably like this big beer belly just poking out of his armor better than anything else what do you mean by that could have been his balls okay um i guess if she was able to leave like small scratch marks in his armor earlier i’m guessing that over time with enough speed if she just keeps working at it she might actually be able to chip some of it away so yeah i’ll allow that his belly is now exposed and vulnerable but before cheetah can take advantage of that vulnerability rhino gets himself unstuck by punching the ground hard with both fists and launching him out of the ground and up into the air and the impact of the punch creates this like tremor shock wave that like shakes the ground and causes cheetah to lose her footing and fall on her ass and then rhino lands on the ground actually he lands on one of cheetah’s legs with giant feet just shattering her femur and her kneecap dang i don’t know if it would like shatter it would probably break definitely durable but that’s pretty hardcore that was a good move and like cheetah yells out in pain as she’s on the ground and with her leg broken rhino looks down and just plows into her head first just impaling her torso with his razor sharp horns end of match okay but you’re forgetting one thing like cheetah she doesn’t have like a traditional runner’s form you know she gets sprint with all four limbs you know she doesn’t run like the flash so like most four-legged animals she could adapt to using three legs to maneuver so you’re saying she can move on three limbs yes yeah okay and she’s gonna use those three working limbs to just slash at rhino’s exposed areas just in this blur of motion just like eviscerating his guts and face and ripping out his spleen with her teeth it’s just a blood bath that’s really violent i guess no more violent than you know getting impaled with a set of horns oh it’s more violent it’s much more there’s blood everywhere oh god that’s how this match ends okay so either one of them gets eviscerated or one of them gets gored let’s go ahead and run the simulations on these guys statistics and we’ll find out which scenario actually happens we’ll be right back all right so both of these guys are kind of one trick ponies huh uh for sure like that was probably a pretty short match up but what else can you do with them especially rhino now putting in the stats i was actually a little bit disappointed because he’s pretty fast and he’s strong and durable but really what else does rhino have he’s not smart he’s not evasive he doesn’t have any range he doesn’t really have much fighting skill because statistically he’s not as impressive as you would think of him by looking at him i guess i think he’s quite the intimidating figure visually if not you know mathematically well he did come out on top when it came to strength and damage level but yet cheetah is much smarter than him she’s quite a bit faster than him she’s more evasive than him and with her enhanced senses she does have a minor advantage in perception so it’s hard for him to hurt her that said it goes both ways because rhino is also more durable than cheetah yeah so it’s like he can’t touch her but she can’t hurt him or at least it would be really hard for them to do either yeah yeah all that being said i do think cheetah has a slight statistical advantage but i don’t know by how much now in our social media polls that we posted to facebook and instagram  the rhino would come out on top i don’t think that’s actually gonna happen um i think maybe a lot of people just don’t know a whole lot about cheetah and aren’t quite sure exactly how crazy strong and fast she is so if i had to guess who’s gonna win this fight i would actually flip that and say i think that cheetah’s gonna win by about 60 that’s my guess this is like one of the only times i’ve ever seen you concede to the fact that you might lose after inputting the stats well you know i might be surprised and i’m no dummy you know i’m no rhino well the winner of this matchup between cheetah and rhino is cheetah you’re right it’s cheetah but what a big fat cheetah now the percentage that she won’t buy is actually quite a bit more than you were thinking she won 729 out of the 1000 matches leaving rhino with a win percentage of only 27.1 well that’s not very close at all no this is actually one of the more lopsided matches that we’ve ever done which is always a surprise it’s always really interesting and it kind of means that we didn’t do the best job of choosing a match up yet maybe like in theory this seems like it would be closer than it actually was because they kind of have similar power sets like we said strength speed and sharp weaponry but when it’s broken down the way that we do it yeah the disparity was just too great in too many of the stat categories so like how most of these matches go whenever dc wins they’re just a bunch of overpowered cheaters and i’m not gonna be too hurt by it you know it’s not really surprising when you think about it though considering there’s no way that spider-man would ever win in a fight against wonder woman yeah but rhino’s also a hulk villain that’s true never mind still a good match though i’m actually always happy to be surprised by results that’s true it’s not always fun when it you know it’s really close within five percentage points sometimes i love seeing results like this especially when dc comes out on top i think it’s just better to get like a definitive winner rather than a coin toss oh when you say when dc comes out on top do you mean don’t care comes out on top oh no no i don’t i mean like detective comics that’s dumb all right guys that does it for this duel let us know what you thought about the results by writing to us at dynamicdullpodcast gmail.com or by visiting us on facebook instagram or twitter you can find links to all of our accounts by visiting our website dynamicduel.com and also don’t forget to visit podchaser.com to leave us a rating for every rating we get from now until the end of 2020 we will be donating one dollar to the pop culture classroom nonprofit organization yeah and at the end of 2020 we’ll go ahead and present those who rated us with a digital art download of the helix and herbie drawings drawn by matt turner from our last episode again don’t be one of the people that sits on this please at least make sure that we can match this year’s donation from last year’s right now we have  to get to at least 100. we want to wish everyone a merry christmas and a happy holidays we know that many of us are not going to be able to spend it with our extended families but we hope that in whatever way you celebrate you do it safely and still find joy and cheer but that does it for this episode we want to give a big thanks to our executive producers ken johnson james crump john starovsky john spees isaiah bethune zachary hepburn and john betchinina for helping make this podcast possible and we’ll talk to you guys next week during which again we will be reviewing finally wonder woman 1984 so look forward to that up up and away true believers