Doom Patrol vs Guardians of the Galaxy

1 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:02,972 This is a Dynamike Network podcast. 2 00:00:24,930 --> 00:00:30,012 Welcome to the dynamic duel podcast a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate 3 00:00:30,032 --> 00:00:35,695 the superiority between Marvel and DC By comparing their characters and stat-based battle simulations. 4 00:00:36,196 --> 00:00:45,301 I'm marvelous Joe and I'm his twin brother Johnny DC and this is our 350th episode of this podcast 5 00:00:45,681 --> 00:00:50,704 Jonathan did you ever think we'd make it this far if you told me when we first started this 6 00:00:50,764 --> 00:00:55,859 podcast That we would have had like a hundred and seventy five matchups that we could come 7 00:00:55,919 --> 00:01:01,283 up with and 175 media content that we could review. I would have said, there's no way you're 8 00:01:01,323 --> 00:01:07,008 out of your mind. I would have told you to get the hell out of my house. Although you're not 9 00:01:07,048 --> 00:01:14,534 counting the Brothers Awards episodes and like the San Diego Comic-Con episodes. True. But 10 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:19,498 yeah, we've been doing this for a long ass time, but the show is still a blast to do. And this 11 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:23,181 episode is going to be a blast. We're going to find out who'd win in a fight between the 12 00:01:23,201 --> 00:01:30,059 teams of Doom Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy. They're the misfit teams, as it were. 13 00:01:30,079 --> 00:01:33,902 We're gonna put the misfits against each other. Things are probably gonna get weird because 14 00:01:33,942 --> 00:01:37,726 things do get pretty weird with these teams and we'll see which one comes out on top. This 15 00:01:37,746 --> 00:01:42,891 will be the ninth team duel that we've done so far on this show and in fact the fifth that 16 00:01:43,031 --> 00:01:47,194 Marvel will have won. Oh, you seem really confident there. Yeah man, it's the Guardians. Not only 17 00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:51,214 are they gonna kick ass, they're gonna do it with attitude. It's gonna be awesome. Before 18 00:01:51,234 --> 00:01:54,655 that, we're going to break down the comic book movie news that came out this past week, of 19 00:01:54,675 --> 00:02:00,278 which we finally, finally got the first trailer for Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. We also got 20 00:02:00,318 --> 00:02:06,801 a trailer for Kite Man, Hell Yeah, which will be an animated series appearing on Max. It's 21 00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:11,663 a spinoff of the Harley Quinn animated series. Right, as always, we list our segment times 22 00:02:11,683 --> 00:02:15,145 in our episode description, so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip 23 00:02:15,185 --> 00:02:20,184 ahead to a particular topic. As our listeners may know, our dual simulator is so advanced 24 00:02:20,284 --> 00:02:24,627 that it's gained sentience and has named itself the Artificial Lifeform for running extensive 25 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:31,772 duels, just a rather very intelligent simulator 9000, or Alfred Jarvis 9000. He has a quick 26 00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:38,419 message for our listeners, so listen up! Why hello there. Do you love listening and chatting 27 00:02:38,439 --> 00:02:43,603 about Marvel and DC? Then become a part of the dynamic dual community on Patreon where you 28 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:48,927 can choose from three tiers. The dynamic 2-0 tier lets you listen to this podcast without 29 00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:53,750 ads and gives you access to its Discord chat group where you can chat with Johnny DC and 30 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:58,713 Marvelous Joe. The fantastic 4 tier gives you that and more with two bonus episodes each 31 00:02:58,773 --> 00:03:03,517 month including bloopers and top 10 shows where Johnny and Joe count down your favourite Marvel 32 00:03:03,537 --> 00:03:08,765 and DC subjects. The X-Force tier makes you an executive producer of Dynamic Duel, where 33 00:03:08,845 --> 00:03:12,749 every month you help the hosts choose what to review and who to fight against each other. 34 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:18,511 And finally, the Dynamike Podcast Network tier allows aspiring podcasters to create their 35 00:03:18,651 --> 00:03:23,693 own battle-focused show using this Monte Carlo simulator. Johnny and Joe will help you develop 36 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:28,594 your show, provide graphic support and consultation, and get you simulation results to announce 37 00:03:28,634 --> 00:03:34,276 on your show. Pitch the twins your show via email at dynamicduelpodcast.gmail.com or by 38 00:03:34,316 --> 00:03:39,237 reaching out to them on social media. Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicduel. Pip 39 00:03:39,277 --> 00:03:46,323 pip cheerio. Thanks AJ9K and thanks to everyone who supports the podcast. Be sure to tune in 40 00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:51,744 to the Max Destruction Podcast which is a part of the Dynamike Network this Wednesday where 41 00:03:51,784 --> 00:03:58,446 Ken and Dustin will be reviewing the very first Rambo film, First Blood. It's an 80's classic. 42 00:03:58,986 --> 00:04:03,928 Yeah, also tune in to Senjoworld, our anime action podcast this Thursday to find out who 43 00:04:03,948 --> 00:04:11,778 would win between... Oh god, Zach, how do you pronounce this? Ryu no Suke? Aku Tagawa? from 44 00:04:11,858 --> 00:04:18,759 Bungo Stray Dogs and Gaara from Naruto. Please, nobody message us about how I'm pronouncing 45 00:04:18,799 --> 00:04:23,641 these because I don't know what I'm saying. But they're cool anime characters from Stray 46 00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:30,202 Dogs and Naruto. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click on the link in our show notes to listen 47 00:04:30,243 --> 00:04:36,104 to all the shows in the Dynamike Podcast Network. But with that out of the way, quick to the 48 00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:43,170 no prize. A no prize is an award Marvel used to give out to fans. Our version, the Dynamic 49 00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:48,514 Dual Note Prize, is a digital award that we post on Instagram and in our email newsletter 50 00:04:48,774 --> 00:04:53,877 for the person that we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week. Last week's question 51 00:04:53,937 --> 00:04:59,621 was, what is your favorite non-video game from Marvel or DC and why? We were looking for your 52 00:04:59,681 --> 00:05:05,585 top table top games. And we got a hell of a lot of answers for this one. A lot of great 53 00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:10,512 answers. It's pretty much impossible to pick honorable mentions and winners for this. If 54 00:05:10,532 --> 00:05:15,055 you're a patron of the show, be sure to hop on Discord where we'll be posting all of the 55 00:05:15,175 --> 00:05:20,919 audio for these answers onto our Discord server. But the first honorable mention goes to Lizzie 56 00:05:20,939 --> 00:05:26,923 Dyer Arnie, who said, Hey, it's Lizzie. My favorite analog DC game is the DC deck building game. 57 00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:31,166 So this game, you get to choose your favorite character. There's a million expansion packs, 58 00:05:31,186 --> 00:05:35,789 so you can pretty much be anyone you want. You keep buying more cards, building your deck 59 00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:40,367 to defeat the villains. Some of the cards have different powers. This is a really fun game 60 00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:46,049 to play and I highly recommend it. Yeah, I own this game. It's a really fun game and there 61 00:05:46,169 --> 00:05:52,332 are a ton of expansions based on like different teams and storylines from the DC Comics universe. 62 00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:57,394 It's really fun to play. I love deck building games. As you guys already know, Joseph and 63 00:05:57,494 --> 00:06:03,416 I created our own deck building game using Marvel and DC characters, but we're also selling a 64 00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:10,132 robots version of that. Add aside. The DC deck building game is a whole lot of fun. I love 65 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:14,694 the DC deck building game. I remember you introduced that to me like a little over a decade ago 66 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:18,997 and I immediately had to go on the internet to see if there was a Marvel version of that 67 00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:24,240 game. And sure enough, right around that time Marvel Legendary was introduced, which is the 68 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:29,222 Marvel deck building game that has a few more components to it. It comes with a board and 69 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:33,385 different scenarios and everything. Both games are a lot of fun though, for sure. Yeah, I 70 00:06:33,445 --> 00:06:39,834 highly recommend them. Next honorable mention goes to Adam Spears, who said, Hey guys, it's 71 00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:45,838 Adam Spears. And I want to say that the best card game out there is Munchkin. It's absolutely 72 00:06:45,858 --> 00:06:51,663 fantastic for Marvel or DC fans. There is a Batman expansion pack, but what I have played 73 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:57,368 with my brother on is we've merged the Marvel X-Men and Deadpool packs all together and we 74 00:06:57,388 --> 00:07:02,372 have a fantastic time with it. Munchkin is just a funny, competitive and combative game. And 75 00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:06,902 I guarantee you, you're going to have a good time with it. Oh, and check out the blast from 76 00:07:06,922 --> 00:07:11,364 our past podcast. Yeah, definitely check out the Spears brothers blast from our past podcast. 77 00:07:11,644 --> 00:07:16,667 It's good times. A lot of fun, a lot of nostalgia. Yeah, they put out a top 10. I think it was 78 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:21,789 either board games in general or card games episode. But they mentioned Munchkin on that 79 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:25,711 episode and they both ranked it fairly high on their lists, which is all the recommendation 80 00:07:25,811 --> 00:07:31,534 I need. Munchkin is a dungeon crawler style board game. And in the Marvel version. You 81 00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:36,455 roleplay as a shield agent and you have your level and you add your bonuses to it in order 82 00:07:36,495 --> 00:07:42,016 to fight the villains and gain their bonuses if you manage to defeat them. Sounds like a 83 00:07:42,056 --> 00:07:47,478 lot of fun. I haven't played it myself, but with such high recommendations, I know that 84 00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:52,439 I need to do that. And I didn't realize that you could merge different expansions into one 85 00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:58,501 game set. That's really cool. That is really cool. Our final honorable mention goes to Unworthy 86 00:07:58,541 --> 00:08:05,197 Collector, who said Hey guys, it's Unworthy Collector. My favorite game that is not a video 87 00:08:05,257 --> 00:08:11,421 game from DC or Marvel would have to be from the best Batman movie ever, Batman Forever. 88 00:08:11,902 --> 00:08:17,486 And the game was called Battle at the Big Top and was a 3D board game. You really ought to 89 00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:22,690 look it up. You had to roll the dice and flip over the audience and shoot balls through hoops. 90 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:29,030 It was a great game. Yeah guys, check out Unworthy Collector on Instagram and YouTube. And I really 91 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,873 appreciate this answer because it was a pretty good deep dive. Oh yeah, I didn't even know 92 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:38,116 it existed. But just looking at photos of it online, it almost looks like Mouse Trap, but 93 00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:43,220 with a Batman Forever theme. That's really cool. I loved Mouse Trap as a kid, but this game 94 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:48,524 sounds even zanier, like shooting balls through hoops and stuff. I like board games that don't 95 00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:52,727 necessarily feel like your standard board game. And this one sounds almost like a miniature 96 00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:56,549 carnival game or something like that. Yeah, thanks for your answer, unworthy collector. 97 00:08:57,138 --> 00:09:03,482 And also thanks to John Storosky, Christopher Manotti, Peter Troll, and Louis DiArco for 98 00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:08,465 their answers. They had some great ones. I'll just run them down. They mentioned Cards Against 99 00:09:08,545 --> 00:09:13,328 Marvel, the Batman the Animated Series board game, Marvel Champions the card game, and Five 100 00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:17,491 Minute Marvel, which I've seen that at Target. I've been wanting to check that one out specifically. 101 00:09:17,972 --> 00:09:23,976 But the winner of this week's No Prize is Colby Hentges, who said, Hey boys, Colby Hentges. 102 00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:29,420 The best tabletop comic game is Hero Click. They have Marvel hero clicks, they have DC 103 00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:34,004 hero clicks, they had Indie hero clicks, they had Horror hero clicks, you could have Aliens 104 00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:40,249 and Predator, Invincible, Hellboy, Iron Man, Batman, they had everybody. And they played 105 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:44,372 really well together. They could all be on the same team fighting Galactus, or they could 106 00:09:44,392 --> 00:09:48,916 all be on separate teams fighting each other. It was a great game, a little pricey for the 107 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:53,859 quality of minis you got, but I liked it. Yeah, Colby Hentges gets the win this week because 108 00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:57,961 Jonathan and I place a lot of nostalgic value on Hero Clicks. We played the heck out of that 109 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:03,665 game back when it came out in the early 2000s, and you could buy both Marvel and DC figurines. 110 00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:08,467 And that's what Jonathan and I did, and we would have our own Marvel versus DC battles using 111 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:14,731 those miniatures. Yeah, Hero Clicks was absolutely the easiest way to get into miniature gaming 112 00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:20,058 because of the dial, the ingenious dial it had on the stand that held the figurine. that you 113 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:25,220 would rotate and click the dial, depending on how your health was affected, either by healing 114 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:30,102 or taking damage. And it changed your stats. So you could see how it definitely inspired 115 00:10:30,202 --> 00:10:35,604 even this podcast. Oh yeah, Jonathan and I, we kind of homebrewed our version of Hero Clicks 116 00:10:35,785 --> 00:10:40,627 to give our characters powers that we thought they should have, that they didn't necessarily 117 00:10:40,647 --> 00:10:44,849 have. It was a lot of fun going through the maps, fighting against each other, working 118 00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:49,950 with the stats. Just a great time overall. And the figurines, you're right, they were not 119 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:54,712 great quality for the price, but we got a lot of use out of them. We even made our own chess 120 00:10:54,732 --> 00:10:59,173 sets with our figurines. And I loved how, like when people were watching us play chess, they 121 00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:03,574 would be like, Oh, well, how do you know which piece is which? And it's like, obviously Superman's 122 00:11:03,614 --> 00:11:11,556 the king. Obviously Batman's a knight. Obviously Aquaman's a bishop. Come on. But congrats again 123 00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:15,017 to Colby Hentges for winning this week's No Prize. If you, the listener, won a shot at 124 00:11:15,057 --> 00:11:19,337 winning your own No Prize. Stay tuned to later on this episode when we'll be asking another 125 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:23,221 question of the week. And now that that's done, on to the news! 126 00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:34,571 Okay, so Aquaman is scheduled to be released December 20th. So we've been waiting for a 127 00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:39,572 trailer for this for a while now, for a few months, because usually they'll at least release 128 00:11:39,592 --> 00:11:46,074 a trailer maybe six months up to a year before the movie's actual release date. But nothing 129 00:11:46,174 --> 00:11:51,116 until last week, which actually sets a record in the amount of time between DC releasing 130 00:11:51,136 --> 00:11:57,877 a trailer for a DCEU film and the actual release date. But I gotta say, this was worth the wait. 131 00:11:58,378 --> 00:12:04,139 Like this trailer, James Wan's cinematography, it looks so breathtaking. Like I was ready 132 00:12:04,179 --> 00:12:09,961 to write this film off because I'm still kind of disheartened by them releasing these movies 133 00:12:10,221 --> 00:12:15,122 that really aren't leading anywhere. You know, it's like a dead end since James Gunn is rebooting 134 00:12:15,142 --> 00:12:20,924 the universe soon. I was kind of just hoping that they would release this film on Max, but 135 00:12:20,944 --> 00:12:25,645 I got to say this definitely looks like I want to see it in theaters on the biggest screen 136 00:12:25,685 --> 00:12:31,065 possible. I agree, actually I liked the first Aquaman movie, if you guys remember from our 137 00:12:31,105 --> 00:12:37,731 review of it, and like you I think I was ready to kind of write this film off because there 138 00:12:37,851 --> 00:12:42,215 are lots of reports of test screenings that didn't go too well from the film, but from 139 00:12:42,255 --> 00:12:47,419 what I could tell here, judging by this trailer, this movie looks like a fucking great time. 140 00:12:47,859 --> 00:12:51,963 I don't know what those test screening people saw, it could be that this is just the best 141 00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:57,906 trailer for the worst movie, but it really impressed me. So I do have a theory regarding that. Early 142 00:12:57,926 --> 00:13:03,928 in the trailer, we get shots of Aquaman and his baby that he and Mera had, Arthur Curry 143 00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:10,830 Jr., I'm supposing. The baby is super cute. But if you read the comics, you know that Arthur 144 00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:16,551 Curry Jr. suffers the tragic fate of dying at the hands of Black Manta. I'm guessing this 145 00:13:16,611 --> 00:13:22,433 film received poor test screenings because they were probably true to the comics and the baby 146 00:13:22,473 --> 00:13:27,075 died and people just kind of hated that. That's my theory. I don't actually know if they're 147 00:13:27,095 --> 00:13:31,657 going to do that for the movie or if they changed it or what's going to happen. But I do have 148 00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:36,660 to say I would be really sad to see that baby die because that's a cute baby is a cute baby 149 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:43,404 for sure. Don't kill Aqua baby Warner Brothers. Come on. I'm torn. I'm like, do you stay true 150 00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:48,607 to the comics or do you like keep a fun movie fun? Because it looks like it's going to be 151 00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:54,574 super fun and even borderline comedic, which I guess is in the same tone. as the first movie. 152 00:13:54,594 --> 00:13:58,676 That also looks like it's going to be just as visually breathtaking as the first movie as 153 00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:03,378 well. That was one of the major takeaways from our review for that first film was just how 154 00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:08,140 good it looked. The cinematography, as I mentioned, is breathtaking. I mean, there's a lot of, 155 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:14,643 you know, obvious visual effects going on, but the world building and just like the vibrancy 156 00:14:14,743 --> 00:14:19,705 of the special effects really do a great job of capturing the eye. Oh, yeah, the world building 157 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:26,585 with like the jellyfish lanterns. going across the city and even the train that Aquaman has 158 00:14:26,605 --> 00:14:30,668 to stop early in the trailer. That's a very Superman-esque moment. It's kind of cool to 159 00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:36,172 see him in that role. He's like the underwater Superman, which I think is a perfect description 160 00:14:36,212 --> 00:14:40,835 of the character and a great way to portray him. We see that there's a threat that's about 161 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:46,099 to befall the planet and it looks like Aquaman is going to need the help of his brother, who 162 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:50,638 was the villain in the first movie, Ocean Master or Oram. It looks like they're going to team 163 00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:56,983 up in this movie to take on Black Manta, who is wielding the Black Trident, which looks 164 00:14:57,483 --> 00:15:02,326 super cool, like the green flames and everything. Oh man. Like just when you thought that Black 165 00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:07,450 Manta cannot look any cooler, they found a way. For sure. Yeah. Black Manta looks badass in 166 00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:12,593 this film. How do you feel about the premise of Aquaman and Ocean Master teaming up for 167 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:19,470 a fight? Is there precedence for that in the comics? Yeah, actually in the new 52, Orm was 168 00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:25,933 not depicted as villainous as he had been prior to the New 52. Like he was very much willing 169 00:15:25,974 --> 00:15:31,397 to abdicate the throne to his brother once he found out that he was alive and that he existed. 170 00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:37,000 So I think it's kind of in keeping with the more recent comics that Ocean Master really 171 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:42,303 does have Atlantis' best intentions at heart, most of the time. And it definitely looks like 172 00:15:42,363 --> 00:15:47,886 Black Manta is going to pose enough of a threat to warrant the two brothers teaming up. Because 173 00:15:47,926 --> 00:15:53,267 it almost looks like the Black Trident gave some access to this undead underwater zombie 174 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:58,308 army, which is like right in keeping with James Wan's horror background. Yeah, it seems very 175 00:15:58,508 --> 00:16:02,309 Game of Thrones in that regard, but you know, much more fantastical and colorful. There's 176 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:06,851 a little bit of Lord of the Rings elements there too, when you see the original Atlantean King 177 00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:11,052 going up against that Sauron looking guy with the Black Trident in that flashback battle. 178 00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:15,913 A lot of great stuff here. Oh yeah, and I described the first movie as the closest thing that a 179 00:16:15,973 --> 00:16:20,718 superhero film has come. to Lord of the Rings, but of course this was before Endgame and that 180 00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:25,700 big final end battle. One thing that James Wan has been saying about this film in regards 181 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:30,461 to the two brothers teaming up is that from the very beginning when he started working 182 00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:36,223 on the first Aquaman movie, he pitched the sequel as a bromance of sorts. Like the first movie 183 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:41,224 revolved around Aquaman and Mera, but the second film I guess was always intended, according 184 00:16:41,244 --> 00:16:47,438 to James Wan, to revolve around Arthur and Orm. So I'm excited to see how all of this leads 185 00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:52,340 up to a battle between Black Manta and his undead army. It looks like it's gonna be really good 186 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,361 times, and I honestly can't wait for Christmas, because this movie looks like it's gonna be 187 00:16:57,381 --> 00:17:02,703 incredible. I agree. I'm looking forward to it. I hope it is the proper sendoff that the 188 00:17:02,743 --> 00:17:08,224 DCEU deserves, and it ends with a bang, not a whimper. For sure. I hope there's no cameos. 189 00:17:08,744 --> 00:17:13,860 Like, just let this thing stand on its own. Just let the DCEU die. try not to lead into 190 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:18,530 anything else. That's my hope. But I guess we'll find out this December. But this brings us 191 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:19,772 to our question of the week. 192 00:17:24,366 --> 00:17:30,727 Do you plan on seeing Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom in theaters and why? I'm really curious to 193 00:17:30,747 --> 00:17:34,288 see where people stand now that the trailer has been released and they've had a chance 194 00:17:34,328 --> 00:17:39,410 to see it. Record your answer at dynamicduel.com by clicking on the red microphone button in 195 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:43,211 the bottom right hand corner of the screen, which will prompt you to leave us a voicemail. 196 00:17:43,591 --> 00:17:47,392 Your message could be up to 30 seconds long, and don't forget to leave your name in case 197 00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:51,493 we include you on the podcast. We'll pick our favorite answer and award that person a Dynamic 198 00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:56,084 Duel No Prize. that we'll post to Instagram and our email newsletter. Be sure to answer 199 00:17:56,124 --> 00:18:03,789 before September 23rd. Now on the television side of things, Max released its first teaser 200 00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:10,354 trailer for the animated series, Kite Man Hell Yeah. It's of course a spin-off of the Harley 201 00:18:10,374 --> 00:18:16,018 Quinn animated series, which featured Kite Man as a character for the past three seasons. 202 00:18:16,338 --> 00:18:19,820 Kite Man was definitely a standout character on that show. So when I first heard that he 203 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:26,107 was getting his own spin-off series, I was pretty excited. I mean, yeah, Kite Man was hilarious. 204 00:18:26,687 --> 00:18:31,068 In the episodes that he was in, he played a kind of love interest for Poison Ivy for a 205 00:18:31,108 --> 00:18:35,089 while. But the fact that he's getting his own show is still kind of mind blowing. You know, 206 00:18:35,129 --> 00:18:40,491 this is Kite Man we're talking about. And I feel really torn because on one hand, I do 207 00:18:40,531 --> 00:18:46,132 think that the show is gonna be funny. The jokes on Harley Quinn are always pretty solid and 208 00:18:46,232 --> 00:18:51,450 this seems to be continuing with that trend. But on the other hand, it's fucking... Kite 209 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:56,731 Man with his own show and I'm sure we're gonna laugh but I'm wondering if we're gonna care 210 00:18:57,051 --> 00:19:01,812 Yeah I mean I think the only people who are going to tune into this are people who loved 211 00:19:01,872 --> 00:19:06,854 the character from Harley Quinn Because Kite Man isn't the biggest name brand I gotta say 212 00:19:07,094 --> 00:19:12,735 I know this was just a teaser that was released but it didn't do the best job of Teasing the 213 00:19:12,775 --> 00:19:17,377 humor in my opinion like there was one joke at the beginning About Kite Man letting his 214 00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:22,439 mom know when he was going to be masturbating when he was a boy which I guess was kind of 215 00:19:22,479 --> 00:19:27,363 funny, but the rest of the teaser was really more action shots than anything else between 216 00:19:27,403 --> 00:19:32,587 Golden Glider and some other characters I'm not too familiar with. You know, we'll see 217 00:19:32,627 --> 00:19:38,111 how the whole thing plays out once it's released. I'm still not quite sure if we need a second 218 00:19:38,451 --> 00:19:44,576 Harley Quinn type series, so who knows, maybe this one will be more action packed. I can't 219 00:19:44,636 --> 00:19:49,988 imagine that... This show will be worth the investment that Max put into it. It just seems 220 00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:55,132 very self-indulgent on behalf of the Harley Quinn creators to even put this show out there, 221 00:19:55,152 --> 00:20:00,596 because it would have to be really, really good in order to get people to tune in. Yeah, yeah, 222 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:05,159 I agree. Hopefully Word of Mouth is strong for this one. Hopefully it's good enough to even 223 00:20:05,199 --> 00:20:10,483 generate Word of Mouth. Right, yeah, absolutely. I'm not quite sold on the show yet, at least 224 00:20:10,523 --> 00:20:14,986 not as much as I thought I would be by the time we got this first teaser. And I guess I'm reserving 225 00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:18,988 judgment until we get a full on trailer and where we get to see more of what the show will 226 00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:23,950 be like. This was only a 45 second teaser and I can't wait for something more substantial. 227 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:31,333 No word on a release date, although it does say that it's coming too soon. That is funny. 228 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,683 That does it for all the news for this episode. So let's go ahead and move into the main event 229 00:20:41,903 --> 00:20:48,173 where we find out who'd win in a team duel between Doom Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy. 230 00:21:03,458 --> 00:21:08,620 Alright, Duel Patrol versus Guardians of the Galaxy. This is our ninth team duel that we've 231 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,262 done. I'll go ahead and just run down all the other team duels that we've done. We found 232 00:21:12,422 --> 00:21:16,745 out who would win between Justice League and the Avengers. Titans and the X-Men. Justice 233 00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:22,088 Society versus Fantastic Four. Suicide Squad versus the Defenders. Justice League Dark versus 234 00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:28,091 Midnight Suns. Arkham Asylum versus the Sinister Six. Young Justice versus Young Avengers. And 235 00:21:28,131 --> 00:21:33,054 the Rogues versus the Brotherhood of Mutants. Yeah, these duels are a lot of fun. It's pretty 236 00:21:33,094 --> 00:21:38,278 hard work because we don't just compare one character against another character as we typically 237 00:21:38,318 --> 00:21:44,863 do in our duel episodes. We compare seven characters against seven characters. In each team duel, 238 00:21:45,344 --> 00:21:50,188 the way your matrices are set up are for seven characters, a team of seven going up against 239 00:21:50,248 --> 00:21:54,731 a team of seven. Yeah, and it's each member going up against every other member from the 240 00:21:54,771 --> 00:22:00,996 opposing team. A lot of data. Yeah, so it's actually 49,000 simulations that we run, which 241 00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:05,840 is a shit ton. Takes a while, but it's worth it to settle once and for all who would win 242 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,024 in a fight between these misfit teams. Doom Patrol of course is basically a freak show 243 00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:16,908 team of superheroes put together by Dr. Niles Calder and they have their own television show 244 00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:21,772 on Macs that is freaking awesome. As a Marvel fan, I didn't know much about Doom Patrol until 245 00:22:21,812 --> 00:22:26,114 I watched that show, but they have really interesting stories. And of course, everyone loves the 246 00:22:26,134 --> 00:22:30,176 Guardians of the Galaxy movies. They're among my favorite Marvel movies. And I'm saying that 247 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:35,038 as a DC guy, they're just really well made. Of course, by James Gunn, who's now taking 248 00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:39,820 over DC Studios. I've been looking forward to this match for a while, ever since it was decided 249 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:44,682 upon by the executive producers to pit these two teams against each other. And I can't wait 250 00:22:44,702 --> 00:22:48,443 to get into it. Yeah, I guarantee you this is going to be the only team duel we ever have, 251 00:22:48,583 --> 00:22:56,422 where we pit a talking tree against a sentient street. It's gonna get weird guys. Yeah, hopefully 252 00:22:56,442 --> 00:23:00,983 it's bonkers. Let's get down to business. To explain the methodology behind our duels, let's 253 00:23:01,003 --> 00:23:06,785 go to our sentient duel simulator, Alfred Jarvis 9000. AG9K, tell our listeners how you go about 254 00:23:06,845 --> 00:23:11,847 determining the winner of our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir. The way I determine a 255 00:23:11,887 --> 00:23:16,908 winner between the two teams is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations between every character 256 00:23:16,948 --> 00:23:22,322 on each team using their statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model used 257 00:23:22,362 --> 00:23:27,526 to determine outcomes through random sampling. In this case, I randomize the statistics along 258 00:23:27,546 --> 00:23:32,170 a normal distribution as a way to simulate the many variables that can occur during battle. 259 00:23:32,550 --> 00:23:37,194 The stat parameters are based on the official Marvel power grid from which the DC characters 260 00:23:37,234 --> 00:23:42,418 statistics are extrapolated. Additional stat categories are included, such as range, damage 261 00:23:42,438 --> 00:23:47,983 potential, versatility, and perception, in order to create a more detailed and accurate simulation. 262 00:23:48,443 --> 00:23:53,158 The results of the 49,000 simulations provide a percentage of wins for each character on 263 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:57,780 both teams. The team with the higher average win rate is declared the victor as they have 264 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,602 a higher probability to win any given battle. In an equitable pairing, neither team should 265 00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:07,444 win 100% of the matches. The comic book stories have shown that there's even a way for Batman 266 00:24:07,484 --> 00:24:11,846 to defeat Superman, so the confidence rate of my method falls in line with the precedents 267 00:24:11,886 --> 00:24:16,988 that have been established in the source material. My mathematical simulations are without subjectivity 268 00:24:17,048 --> 00:24:22,490 or bias. Feats are not the sole consideration. nor are fan votes tabulated for determination 269 00:24:22,530 --> 00:24:28,072 of the winner. Thanks, you, J9K. Before we run the simulations, though, we like to break down 270 00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:34,655 each team's histories and rosters before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the simulations 271 00:24:34,675 --> 00:24:38,896 would play out, beat for beat. And I believe it's my turn to go first this episode with 272 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:42,777 the Marvel backstory, so let me go ahead and tell you all about the Guardians of the Galaxy. 273 00:24:43,234 --> 00:24:47,657 The story of the Guardians of the Galaxy began with the incursion of the other-dimensional 274 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:54,103 despot Annihilus from the Negative Zone into Marvel's reality. He and his Annihilation Wave 275 00:24:54,183 --> 00:25:01,289 destroyed entire galaxies, thousands of worlds, and even several cosmic entities. This unfathomably 276 00:25:01,329 --> 00:25:07,274 large threat created unlikely alliances among interplanetary forces and heroes from across 277 00:25:07,314 --> 00:25:12,262 the universe. Although the heroes were successful in stopping the Annihilation Wave, their victory 278 00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:18,107 came at great loss and sacrifice. This prompted the hero Star-Lord, who was an essential strategist 279 00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:23,792 in the war, to put together a team of space warriors to prevent other future threats. The 280 00:25:23,852 --> 00:25:29,337 initial group was composed of heroes that Star-Lord had fought alongside during Annihilus' invasion, 281 00:25:29,818 --> 00:25:36,344 including Drax the Destroyer, a being created to kill the mad titan Thanos, and Gamora, called 282 00:25:36,384 --> 00:25:41,379 the most dangerous woman in the universe. Starlord also recruited heroes he worked with during 283 00:25:41,419 --> 00:25:46,982 a special mission for the Kree Empire to stop the techno-organic parasitic race, the Phalanx, 284 00:25:47,342 --> 00:25:53,325 who were led by Ultron at the time. This included Mantis, a trained psychic, Rocket Raccoon, 285 00:25:53,525 --> 00:25:59,409 a brilliant weapons engineer, and Groot, a powerful plant creature. Rounding out the initial team 286 00:25:59,429 --> 00:26:05,932 were also Phylavel, then wielder of the Quantum Bands, and the enigmatic Adam Warlock. Starlord, 287 00:26:06,172 --> 00:26:13,736 on the based the team at a space station made from the giant head of a celestial cosmic being 288 00:26:13,856 --> 00:26:18,539 called Nowhere, which had a teleportation system that could beam them nearly anywhere in the 289 00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:23,462 universe. After stopping a cult known as the Universal Church of Truth, the team happened 290 00:26:23,502 --> 00:26:30,426 upon a frozen body floating in the void of space belonging to one Major Vance Astro, a hero 291 00:26:30,446 --> 00:26:35,349 from a far alternate future who had earned the privilege of wielding Captain America's shield. 292 00:26:35,870 --> 00:26:40,292 After thawing out his body, they learned that Vance Astro belonged to a team of heroes known 293 00:26:40,452 --> 00:26:46,496 as the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Rocket Raccoon stole the name for their own group. So this 294 00:26:46,536 --> 00:26:52,099 team wasn't the original Guardians of the Galaxy? In terms of publishing chronology, no, the 295 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,421 original Guardians of the Galaxy team came out in the 1960s, but that was in an alternate 296 00:26:56,481 --> 00:27:02,004 universe. In the Marvel 616 continuity, the Guardians team started being published in the 297 00:27:02,044 --> 00:27:07,707 early 2000s. Interesting. The Guardians unsuccessfully tried to intervene diplomatically when war 298 00:27:07,747 --> 00:27:12,408 broke out between the Inhumans and the Shi'ar alien race, and had to deal with the fallout 299 00:27:12,448 --> 00:27:16,989 of the conflict which opened up a rift in the fabric of the universe into a dimension where 300 00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:22,971 death did not exist and all life had been corrupted. Although the Guardians helped seal the rift, 301 00:27:23,371 --> 00:27:28,153 Star-Lord and Nova sacrificed themselves to stay behind in that dimension in order to keep 302 00:27:28,273 --> 00:27:33,512 Thanos from escaping. Without their leader, The Guardians disbanded and the chief of security 303 00:27:33,592 --> 00:27:39,117 at nowhere, Cosmo the Space Dog, assembled a new team for a time called the Annihilators, 304 00:27:39,438 --> 00:27:45,123 which you can learn more about in our Red Lantern Deck Star vs Cosmo the Space Dog duel episode. 305 00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:50,288 Eventually, Star-Lord was able to return to his dimension with the reality-warping device 306 00:27:50,408 --> 00:27:54,712 the Cosmic Cube. After the Guardians of the Galaxy prevented the podune alien invasion 307 00:27:54,752 --> 00:28:00,197 of Earth, Jason Star-Lord's father and king of the planet Spartax arrested the team for 308 00:28:00,237 --> 00:28:06,082 violating a new galactic law that declared Earth neutral territory. However, the Guardians escaped 309 00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:11,866 with the help of Groot, Jason was subsequently deposed, and the Spartax Council crowned Star-Lord 310 00:28:12,026 --> 00:28:18,011 as their new leader due to his popularity as a galactic hero. Enraged, Jason obliterated 311 00:28:18,051 --> 00:28:23,916 Hala, the capital planet of the alien Kree Empire, in order to obtain a celestial created object 312 00:28:23,996 --> 00:28:29,259 called the Black Vortex. which was capable of evolving a being to their fullest potential. 313 00:28:29,679 --> 00:28:35,040 Jason used it to encase the planet Spartax in an energy construct, but the Guardians were 314 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:40,602 able to free the people and defeat Jason with help from the X-Men member, Kitty Pride. While 315 00:28:40,622 --> 00:28:45,824 the team initially assisted Star-Lord with his duties as ruler of Spartax, they eventually 316 00:28:45,904 --> 00:28:51,250 separated ways from him, and Rocket Raccoon became the new leader of the Guardians. However, 317 00:28:51,410 --> 00:28:56,832 one former Kree accuser blamed Star-Lord and Spartax for Jason's actions against the former 318 00:28:56,892 --> 00:29:02,254 Throneworld and launched an assault against the Spartoi army. The Guardians assisted in 319 00:29:02,294 --> 00:29:07,496 the battle to defeat the accuser, though Star-Lord was blamed for the damage to the planet Spartax 320 00:29:07,616 --> 00:29:12,619 and was stripped of his title as King. The Guardians of the Galaxy then reunited under their original 321 00:29:12,659 --> 00:29:17,821 leader, but the team was now branded as outlaws and fugitives. While trying to protect the 322 00:29:17,861 --> 00:29:22,030 cosmos while clashing with the Nova Corps, The Guardians found themselves in the middle of 323 00:29:22,070 --> 00:29:27,873 a feud between two elders of the universe, the Grandmaster and the Collector, which ended 324 00:29:27,913 --> 00:29:33,135 in a truce and Star-Lord was gifted an Infinity Stone. The Guardians were able to use the Power 325 00:29:33,155 --> 00:29:39,518 Stone to fend off the Chitauri aliens, but Star-Lord disbanded the team again to join Dr. Strange's 326 00:29:39,618 --> 00:29:45,200 new Infinity Watch, a group of Infinity Stone wielders assembled to prevent Thanos, who was 327 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:50,082 believed to be dead at the time, from acquiring the stones. You can learn more about Thanos 328 00:29:50,162 --> 00:29:55,545 in our Darkseid vs Thanos duel episode. Eventually, Thanos did return from the dead possessing 329 00:29:55,585 --> 00:30:01,668 the body of his brother Starfox, and the Guardians had to reunite to defeat him. After the formation 330 00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:06,631 of the Galactic Council in the wake of the new Kree-Skrull alliance led by young Avenger Hulkling, 331 00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:11,134 whom you can learn more about in our Miss Martian vs Hulkling duel episode, the Guardians of 332 00:30:11,154 --> 00:30:14,976 the Galaxy were officially sanctioned as protectors of the cosmos. 333 00:30:19,058 --> 00:30:25,742 and an expanded roster that included Nova, Quasar, Nebula, and the Super Scroll. And that's the 334 00:30:25,762 --> 00:30:30,385 history of the Guardians. For this team duel of seven characters, I wanted to include as 335 00:30:30,566 --> 00:30:35,769 many of the 2000's Guardians original roster as possible, since they've been with the team 336 00:30:35,829 --> 00:30:41,213 the longest and are more well known because of the Marvel Studios films. So obviously I'm 337 00:30:41,253 --> 00:30:44,955 starting out with the one who formed the team, Peter Quill aka Star 338 00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:54,215 element guns, and arsenal of various gadgets. By his side will be Gamora carrying a sword 339 00:30:54,275 --> 00:31:00,401 and pair of daggers. Drax the Destroyer is also joining, armed with his signature knives. Rocket 340 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:05,846 Raccoon will take up the fourth slot, packing a big ass energy blaster, a smaller ass energy 341 00:31:05,886 --> 00:31:11,311 blaster, his jet boots, and enough explosives to destroy a whole city. Groot is next on the 342 00:31:11,351 --> 00:31:15,854 team, and he'll be bringing just himself because that's all he needs. The second to last spot 343 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:20,177 will be held by Mantis, since I think her empathic and psychic abilities will bring something 344 00:31:20,237 --> 00:31:25,481 new to the table. And finally, I'm going with Adam Warlock, because the guy's a powerhouse 345 00:31:25,501 --> 00:31:29,443 with like so many different powers, and I think I'll need his versatility to round out the 346 00:31:29,463 --> 00:31:37,969 team's stats. So again, that's Starlord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Mantis, and Warlock. And 347 00:31:37,989 --> 00:31:40,751 they're going to put the Doom to the Doom Patrol. 348 00:31:45,095 --> 00:31:47,185 X to the guardians of the galaxy. 349 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:58,483 So bad. I don't know. Let me get into their backstory. So the Doom Patrol was created by 350 00:31:58,543 --> 00:32:05,286 Dr. Niles Calder, a genius scientific polymath who accidentally paralyzed himself in order 351 00:32:05,306 --> 00:32:11,469 to remove a bomb implanted in his spine by the Nazi villain General Immortus, who had secretly 352 00:32:11,509 --> 00:32:18,331 hired Niles to create a formula for immortality. Though Niles freed himself from General Immortus' 353 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:24,694 control, he was left distraught and depressed over his new handicap. Eventually realizing 354 00:32:24,714 --> 00:32:31,038 he needed to stop General Immortus, however, Niles developed a theory he called the Catastrophe 355 00:32:31,078 --> 00:32:36,602 Curve, which stated that traumatic, life-altering events such as what Niles had gone through 356 00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:42,786 would force people to adapt and emerge stronger and more capable than they were before. Deducing 357 00:32:42,806 --> 00:32:48,289 that a team of traumatized and ostracized individuals could be strong enough to take on the world's 358 00:32:48,329 --> 00:32:53,547 villains, While also challenging the stigmas that Niles and other handicapped individuals 359 00:32:53,607 --> 00:32:59,970 faced, Niles developed technologies and therapies to help three individuals who had gone through 360 00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:06,533 horrific accidents overcome their injuries and develop superpowers as a result. This included 361 00:33:06,633 --> 00:33:12,695 Cliff Steele, a race car driver whose body was destroyed during a race. Niles was able to 362 00:33:12,735 --> 00:33:18,922 salvage Cliff's brain and put it in a robotic body, creating Robotman. When Hollywood darling 363 00:33:19,002 --> 00:33:24,463 Rita Farr was in an on-set accident that exposed her to chemical vapors that caused her body 364 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:30,245 to become malleable, Niles helped train her to maintain and control her shape to become 365 00:33:30,465 --> 00:33:35,967 Elasti-Girl. When the guidance system on Air Force Test Pilot Lurie Chynar's experimental 366 00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:40,688 aircraft malfunctioned, sending him through a field of radiation that caused his body to 367 00:33:40,728 --> 00:33:46,589 become irradiated with an other dimensional entity, Niles developed radiation-proof bandages 368 00:33:46,946 --> 00:33:53,051 that allowed Larry to be around and help others as Negative Man. Initially hiding his identity 369 00:33:53,191 --> 00:33:58,936 under the alias The Chief, Niles led the first iteration of the Doom Patrol from their Midway 370 00:33:58,976 --> 00:34:04,080 City headquarters against General Immortus and some of the planet's most bizarre villains, 371 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:11,046 including Animal Vegetable Mineral Man and Monsieur Malah and the Brain. Rita eventually married 372 00:34:11,146 --> 00:34:16,734 a telepath named Steve Dayton, who joined the team as the hero Mento. and the two of them 373 00:34:16,894 --> 00:34:22,720 adopted the shapeshifting youngster Garfield Logan, aka Beast Boy, who you can learn more 374 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:28,385 about in our Beast Boy vs. Beast episode. Niles attempted to reform and bring his romantic 375 00:34:28,485 --> 00:34:34,290 interest, Madame Rouge of the Brotherhood of Evil, onto the team, though he failed and she, 376 00:34:34,590 --> 00:34:39,775 along with the villain General Zal, were responsible for the death of the original four-member team 377 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:45,142 of the Doom Patrol when they chose to sacrifice their lives rather than allow the town of Codsville, 378 00:34:45,202 --> 00:34:51,045 Maine, and its population of 14, to be destroyed. You can learn more about Madame Rouge in her 379 00:34:51,105 --> 00:34:57,067 dual episode with Mystique. Eventually, a new Doom Patrol team, also based in Midway City, 380 00:34:57,407 --> 00:35:03,810 was formed by Niles' mysterious widow, a woman named Arani Desai, who went by the superhero 381 00:35:03,850 --> 00:35:10,333 codename Celsius, as she was able to control temperature. In an effort to stop General Immortus 382 00:35:10,453 --> 00:35:16,624 and find her husband Niles, whom she believed to still be alive, Arani brought together Joshua 383 00:35:16,664 --> 00:35:23,728 Clay, an energy controlling medic known as Tempest, the Russian spy Valentia Vostok, who inherited 384 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:30,192 Negative Man's radioactive negative spirit entity to become Negative Woman, and Robotman, who 385 00:35:30,212 --> 00:35:35,335 had been rebuilt by Dr. William Magnus, a robotics engineer that you can learn more about in our 386 00:35:35,375 --> 00:35:40,938 Metal Men versus Colossus episode. The team moved to Kansas City, and increased their ranks 387 00:35:40,978 --> 00:35:46,982 to include Lodestone, who could manipulate the electromagnetic spectrum, Karma, who generated 388 00:35:47,102 --> 00:35:53,586 bad luck in others, and a young boy named Scott Fisher with a burning touch. This version of 389 00:35:53,626 --> 00:35:59,089 the team discovered that both Larry Trainor and Niles Calder survived the explosion that 390 00:35:59,129 --> 00:36:05,173 killed the Doom Patrol, though Niles denied ever being married to Irani. Irani died during 391 00:36:05,193 --> 00:36:10,068 the invasion storyline, that also resulted in Negative Woman losing her connection to the 392 00:36:10,088 --> 00:36:15,873 Negative Spirit, Scott Fisher succumbing to leukemia, and Lodestone falling into a coma. 393 00:36:16,333 --> 00:36:21,918 The team disbanded, though was soon reformed by Niles Calder, with Negative Man returning, 394 00:36:22,258 --> 00:36:27,502 though Larry involuntarily merged with a nurse named Eleanor Poole to form a new Negative 395 00:36:27,642 --> 00:36:33,467 entity known as Rebus. Robot Man also returned after an episode of depression and a stint 396 00:36:33,527 --> 00:36:41,369 at a mental facility with dissociative identity disorder named Crazy Jane, who also joined 397 00:36:41,429 --> 00:36:47,494 the team. Joshua Clay agreed to stay on the team as its medic, and soon after a young girl 398 00:36:47,554 --> 00:36:52,538 named Dorothy Spinner, capable of bringing her imaginary friends to life, also joined the 399 00:36:52,578 --> 00:36:58,283 team. When they discovered that the comatose Lodestone was being held captive by a supernatural 400 00:36:58,363 --> 00:37:04,548 serial killer named Red Jack, the team came to her rescue, only for Lodestone to wake up 401 00:37:04,648 --> 00:37:10,733 in a and kill Red Jack herself. The team was based in the Justice League's former secret 402 00:37:10,773 --> 00:37:16,757 sanctuary headquarters until they met Danny the Street, a teleporting sentient genderqueer 403 00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:23,661 pocket dimension upon whom lived Flexmantallo, a muscle-bound man of muscle mystery. When 404 00:37:23,681 --> 00:37:28,885 a malevolent entity known as the Candlemaker that posed as one of Dorothy's imaginary friends 405 00:37:29,005 --> 00:37:36,458 was unleashed, the team suffered massive casualties, with Robotman's brain getting and Joshua being 406 00:37:36,478 --> 00:37:42,402 killed by Niles, just before it was revealed that Niles was responsible for the accidents 407 00:37:42,723 --> 00:37:48,226 that befell the original team members and he was decapitated by the Candlemaker. Once the 408 00:37:48,246 --> 00:37:54,611 Candlemaker was defeated, several of the team's members, including Crazy Jane and Rebus, decided 409 00:37:54,651 --> 00:38:00,074 to leave the team to retire on Danny, who by this point had grown to the size of a planet. 410 00:38:00,615 --> 00:38:07,219 After Robotman was rebuilt by Dr. Magnus again, he Dorothy and Niles, whose head was kept alive 411 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:12,261 with nanobots, moved into an abandoned country club known as the Rainbow Estates that was 412 00:38:12,301 --> 00:38:18,143 haunted by sex ghosts who were used to power the team's technology. The team took on the 413 00:38:18,203 --> 00:38:23,725 Bandage People, a married couple named George and Marion who were wrapped in bandages, and 414 00:38:23,785 --> 00:38:30,208 a transgender superhero named Kate Godwin, aka Quagula, who could control states of matter. 415 00:38:33,950 --> 00:38:40,492 Alice wired for sound, he left the team to enter the Tree of Life, and only Robotman, Coagula, 416 00:38:40,632 --> 00:38:45,975 and Dorothy remained, though Dorothy destroyed both of them during a psychic meltdown that 417 00:38:46,055 --> 00:38:51,697 also put her into a coma. A new corporate version of the Doom Patrol was later formed by a wealthy 418 00:38:51,757 --> 00:38:58,460 industrialist named Thayer Jost as a young superteam with members named Fast Forward, Fever, Freak, 419 00:39:01,294 --> 00:39:06,618 though this version of Robotman was revealed to be an imaginary version created by the still 420 00:39:06,638 --> 00:39:12,883 comatose Dorothy. The other members of the team found and revived the real Robotman, who made 421 00:39:12,943 --> 00:39:18,307 the difficult decision to remove Dorothy from life support, after which the team disbanded. 422 00:39:18,727 --> 00:39:24,492 During the Infinite Crisis event, where Superboy Prime and Alexander Luther of Earth 3 created 423 00:39:27,106 --> 00:39:32,590 The original Doom Patrol of Niles, Robotman, Elastigirl, and Larry Trainer as Negative Man 424 00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:38,774 were revealed to be a team once again. After recovering their memories of past continuity, 425 00:39:39,075 --> 00:39:44,399 they learned that Elastigirl had been regrown by Niles from a fragment of her skull that 426 00:39:44,419 --> 00:39:50,343 he had uncovered. The team reunited with Mento and aided the Teen Titans, during which it 427 00:39:50,383 --> 00:39:55,783 was revealed that Niles was manipulating the team. in order to cure them as a form of penance 428 00:39:55,823 --> 00:40:00,925 for having orchestrated their accidents in the past. Niles was kicked off of the team, with 429 00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:06,447 both Mento and Beast Boy assuming leadership for a brief time, and with the Titan heroes 430 00:40:06,507 --> 00:40:12,170 Vox and Bumblebee joining the Doom Patrol. When the team set up their headquarters on Oolong 431 00:40:12,330 --> 00:40:19,033 Island, Crazy Jane and Danny returned, though the latter as a brick, and Ambish Bug also 432 00:40:19,093 --> 00:40:25,105 joined the team. After the Flashpoint event reset DC's continuity, the original four-member 433 00:40:25,145 --> 00:40:32,470 team of Niles, Robotman, Elastigwomen now, and Negativeman were joined by Elementwomen. When 434 00:40:32,510 --> 00:40:37,614 Niles and the team attempted to capture Jessica Cruz, the Green Lantern, to get her onto the 435 00:40:37,654 --> 00:40:43,418 team, it was revealed by Lex Luthor that Niles had caused the team's accidents, and they went 436 00:40:43,478 --> 00:40:49,410 their separate ways. The team was eventually brought back together by Casey Brink. a comic 437 00:40:49,430 --> 00:40:55,212 book character from Danny the Street's self-published series that was brought to life. The team helped 438 00:40:55,312 --> 00:41:00,274 save Danny from aliens who were trying to force him to mass produce meat for their intergalactic 439 00:41:00,314 --> 00:41:05,336 chain of fast food restaurants. After Niles attempted to recruit the team for a mission 440 00:41:05,636 --> 00:41:10,278 that turned out to be a form of payment for Niles' gambling debts, the team kicked him 441 00:41:10,438 --> 00:41:16,841 out. Currently, the Doom Patrol is led by Crazy Jane, now controlled by an alternate personality 442 00:41:16,901 --> 00:41:26,170 known and consists of Robotman, Elastigwoman, Negativeman, and newcomers Beast Girl and Degenerate. 443 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:32,253 For my team, I'm definitely starting with Robotman, as he is the only Doom Patrol member that has 444 00:41:32,313 --> 00:41:38,096 been a part of each incarnation of the team. I'm also going with Dr. Niles Calder, aka the 445 00:41:38,156 --> 00:41:43,519 Chief, as he was the team's founder, as well as Negativeman and Elastigwoman since they 446 00:41:43,559 --> 00:41:44,840 were original members. 447 00:41:48,162 --> 00:41:53,804 Though I've already used Beast Boy in our Titans vs X-Men team duel episode, and there are definitely 448 00:41:53,884 --> 00:42:00,487 more interesting Doom Patrol members than Mento, including Crazy Jane, Dorothy Spinner, and 449 00:42:00,567 --> 00:42:05,689 Danny the Street, each of whom have been made popular by the Doom Patrol television series 450 00:42:05,769 --> 00:42:11,151 on Max, and who were chosen by our executive producers. So that rounds out my seven member 451 00:42:11,191 --> 00:42:19,943 team. Robot Man, The Chief, Negative Man, Elastigwomen, Crazy Jane, Dorothy Spinner and Danny the Street. 452 00:42:20,443 --> 00:42:23,604 I should note that if you want to learn more about any of the characters on my roster or 453 00:42:23,664 --> 00:42:27,966 Jonathan's roster, check out their individual dual episodes because they all have them. Yeah, 454 00:42:27,986 --> 00:42:32,728 some of them are pretty old, but they exist. I had to say listening to the history of the 455 00:42:32,768 --> 00:42:38,610 Doom Patrol, I think the only team that has disbanded and reformed more than them is the 456 00:42:38,630 --> 00:42:43,732 Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't think I quite gave across the impression that the Guardians 457 00:42:43,792 --> 00:42:49,046 split up and reform over and over again. Yeah, that's the case. I kind of skipped over it 458 00:42:49,086 --> 00:42:54,148 because it got annoying after a while. But that's something these teams definitely have in common. 459 00:42:54,608 --> 00:42:58,349 And in the Deer Patrol's instance, it's always something to do with Niles Colder and how he 460 00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:03,450 fucked up. Yeah, with the Guardians, it's usually something dealing with Peter Quill. The original 461 00:43:03,490 --> 00:43:09,392 Guardians team only formed because he had Mantis psychically manipulate the group into coming 462 00:43:09,432 --> 00:43:14,873 together. Oh, no way. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you have some shitty shit going on both 463 00:43:14,913 --> 00:43:15,213 sides. 464 00:43:22,670 --> 00:43:27,512 Well, now that we've got the histories and rosters out of the way, let's speculate on how one 465 00:43:27,552 --> 00:43:32,875 of the simulated matches will go. The winning team is determined by simulations, not this 466 00:43:32,935 --> 00:43:38,898 speculation, but it's fun to imagine how this fight could play out. Alfred Jarvis9000, what 467 00:43:38,918 --> 00:43:44,541 are the rules of our speculation? Well, I should say there are no rules, other than the teams 468 00:43:44,561 --> 00:43:49,124 have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight. All they are aware of starting out 469 00:43:49,484 --> 00:43:54,167 is that the other side is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For the speculation, the 470 00:43:54,187 --> 00:43:58,730 groups will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a non-descript environment that will have 471 00:43:58,810 --> 00:44:03,973 no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are considered in my simulations. 472 00:44:04,454 --> 00:44:09,477 The teams must earn victory on their own merit. Alright then, let's get into it. Doom Patrol 473 00:44:09,637 --> 00:44:15,642 and Guardians of the Galaxy meet on the battlefield. Who goes first? So I imagine starting out that 474 00:44:15,722 --> 00:44:20,805 the Doom Patrol is standing on Denny the Street, just looking at the Guardians of the Galaxy. 475 00:44:21,466 --> 00:44:26,009 and like a marquee above a theater on Danny is gonna read, who the hell are these guys? 476 00:44:29,051 --> 00:44:33,974 And then Groot's gonna be like, I am Groot, which means we're the freaking guardians of 477 00:44:33,994 --> 00:44:40,298 the galaxy, except he doesn't say the word freaking, but that line is gonna be like the team's rallying 478 00:44:40,339 --> 00:44:45,362 cry and they're gonna charge into battle and Rocket Raccoon is gonna start off who's riding 479 00:44:45,422 --> 00:44:50,405 on Groot's shoulder and he's gonna fire a grenade launcher that shoots out this volley of explosions. 480 00:44:50,690 --> 00:44:56,634 that just rain down on Danny the Street and the rest of the Doom Patrol. Okay, but just 481 00:44:56,734 --> 00:45:01,617 before those explosives land and the Guardians reach the Doom Patrol, Danny's just going to 482 00:45:01,697 --> 00:45:07,902 teleport the Doom Patrol right behind the Guardians. And Negative Man is going to get the jump on 483 00:45:07,922 --> 00:45:14,446 them by firing out his negative spirit that just tears through rockets and like Drax and 484 00:45:14,466 --> 00:45:21,343 Gamora at Sonic Speed, causing them this debilitating pain. Yeah, but when Negative Man sends out 485 00:45:21,383 --> 00:45:26,548 his negative spirit, he just, his body just like collapses to the ground, right? Yeah, 486 00:45:26,588 --> 00:45:30,371 but like, you know, I'm sure Danny is gonna hide his body in a basement to keep it safe 487 00:45:30,411 --> 00:45:37,137 or something like that. It's fine. Well, unfortunately for the negative spirit, I'll say the Guardians 488 00:45:37,197 --> 00:45:43,804 have a member who deals with like matters of the spirit all the time. And that's Adam Warlock, 489 00:45:43,944 --> 00:45:48,763 who is the former wielder of the Soul Gem. So Adam Warlock, he's going to psychically hone 490 00:45:48,823 --> 00:45:53,765 in on the negative spirit and he's going to trap it in this like cosmic energy cocoon that 491 00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:59,467 the spirit can't phase out of. Meaning negative man is screwed because doesn't he die if the 492 00:45:59,507 --> 00:46:04,089 negative spirit doesn't return back to his body within a certain amount of time? It used to 493 00:46:04,109 --> 00:46:09,631 be 60 seconds, but like that amount of time has increased significantly in recent years. 494 00:46:10,151 --> 00:46:14,953 So, you know, we'll see what we can do about that later. Meanwhile, Elastawoman grows to 495 00:46:15,013 --> 00:46:23,356 six stories tall. and stomps on Star Lord. You mean she tries to stomp on Star Lord, but as 496 00:46:23,396 --> 00:46:29,000 he sees her gargantuan foot like descending on him, he's going to blast her with his element 497 00:46:29,041 --> 00:46:34,405 guns, which encase both of her legs in ice, freezing them so she can't move. And she's 498 00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:39,950 just stuck there with one leg in the air. And that's when Groot runs over and he grows himself 499 00:46:40,010 --> 00:46:45,414 to giant size to match Elastigwomans height, and he just knocks her over. sending her crashing 500 00:46:45,454 --> 00:46:50,355 to the ground. Well, I mean, Alessa Woman is basically made out of silly putty, so the fall's 501 00:46:50,395 --> 00:46:58,397 not actually going to hurt her, and she'll just shrink back down to escape the ice. But meanwhile, 502 00:46:58,437 --> 00:47:04,959 crazy Jane turns into Sun Daddy, like this two-story tall woman with a sun fur ahead, and she's 503 00:47:04,999 --> 00:47:11,181 gonna hurl fireballs at Groot, setting his ass on fire. Oh shit, uh, except that she doesn't 504 00:47:11,721 --> 00:47:16,435 do that. What? Son Daddy thought she wanted to hurt Groot, but then she suddenly decides 505 00:47:16,475 --> 00:47:21,756 that, you know, she likes him. And instead she turns all of her anger and negative emotions 506 00:47:22,096 --> 00:47:28,698 to that guy over there in the wheelchair and sets his ass on fire. And that is because Mantis 507 00:47:28,838 --> 00:47:35,640 got a vision of the future of Groot on fire. And so to prevent it, she empathically manipulated 508 00:47:35,740 --> 00:47:41,566 Crazy Jane's mind. Okay. Son Daddy hurls a fireball towards the chief, which He's just going to 509 00:47:41,606 --> 00:47:46,189 block with the force field because he already has that activated, right? But Crazy Jane's 510 00:47:46,329 --> 00:47:50,912 alters her other personalities. They're going to realize right away that she's being psychically 511 00:47:50,952 --> 00:47:57,197 manipulated. So they're going to break up that psychic connection by sending up Silvertongue 512 00:47:57,337 --> 00:48:03,021 from the underground, who is going to take control of Crazy Jane's body and be like, stay out 513 00:48:03,061 --> 00:48:08,905 of my mind. And those words are going to turn into these blades in midair that fly at Mantis 514 00:48:08,925 --> 00:48:14,788 and slice her up. No, no, because Gamora is going to leap into the way and block all of 515 00:48:14,828 --> 00:48:19,811 these flying blades with her sword, just knocking him out of the air with her badass sword skills. 516 00:48:20,291 --> 00:48:24,073 And then she's going to like slide tackle Crazy Jane to the ground and then just jam a dagger 517 00:48:24,093 --> 00:48:29,777 in her chest. And while that's happening, Drax is going to run over to one of the Doom Patrol 518 00:48:29,797 --> 00:48:34,879 members to fight them. But it turns out it's Dorothy Spinner. She turns around and Drax 519 00:48:34,899 --> 00:48:39,554 sees that it's just a young girl. So it's awkward because like Drax... doesn't want to fight 520 00:48:39,574 --> 00:48:43,537 her because she probably reminds him of his daughter. So he's like, go away, get out of 521 00:48:43,557 --> 00:48:47,480 here, hairy child. And then he's going to run over a robot man and just plow into him like 522 00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:52,163 a charging bull. I mean, Drax probably shouldn't have caught the attention of Dorothy spinner 523 00:48:52,603 --> 00:48:58,848 because before he even reaches robot man, Dorothy's like, Cliff, look out. And she's going to unleash 524 00:48:59,368 --> 00:49:04,472 dark is the morning that looks like a shadow with like a huge fanged mouth. And that's going 525 00:49:04,492 --> 00:49:09,287 to shoot over to Drax and just bite down on his head. Meanwhile, a robot man sees this 526 00:49:09,527 --> 00:49:14,590 and he's like, what the fuck? And while Drax is distracted and his face is covered, that's 527 00:49:14,610 --> 00:49:21,235 when Robotman runs up and just kicks Drax right in the nuts. All right. So Drax is going to 528 00:49:21,255 --> 00:49:26,319 fall to the floor and puke from the pain. But since this shadow creature is like chomped 529 00:49:26,379 --> 00:49:31,242 down over his head, he's going to puke into the shadow creature and it's going to cause 530 00:49:31,262 --> 00:49:35,485 it to dissipate. And Drax is going to be like, victoriously like, I vanquish the monster. 531 00:49:35,785 --> 00:49:39,748 Rocket. sees all this happening and he just shakes his head before leaping over to the 532 00:49:39,808 --> 00:49:45,212 chief and he's like, oh, I'm going to get that wheelchair. So he pulls out and then rolls 533 00:49:45,292 --> 00:49:50,416 over an explosive grenade toward the chief that detonates right underneath his seat and launches 534 00:49:50,436 --> 00:49:56,980 him out of the chair. Okay, but the chief has sensors in his chair that will notify him if 535 00:49:57,020 --> 00:50:01,944 there's like a nearby explosive. So the chief does launch out of the wheelchair, but he's 536 00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:06,766 in an ejector seat with a parachute. And as he's floating to the ground from high in the 537 00:50:06,786 --> 00:50:12,149 sky, he's gonna pull out a handgun and take aim at Mantis, and he's gonna shoot her in 538 00:50:12,169 --> 00:50:19,352 the chest. So she's out of the match. Okay, Mantis gets shot, but before she dies from 539 00:50:19,372 --> 00:50:25,575 the wound, she's gonna actually project her astral form out of her body. And her spirit's 540 00:50:25,595 --> 00:50:30,037 gonna travel over to Groot and possess his mind because, you know, she can communicate with 541 00:50:30,077 --> 00:50:35,961 plant life as part of her training. And... She has the ability to reform a new body out of 542 00:50:35,981 --> 00:50:42,366 vegetation. That's why she's the color green. So she has Groot use his powers to create this 543 00:50:42,406 --> 00:50:46,830 like plant woman, essentially. And then Mantis is going to inhabit it with her mind, form 544 00:50:46,850 --> 00:50:53,496 it into her new body. And it's like she never left. She's back in action. That's dumb. But 545 00:50:53,676 --> 00:50:59,842 by this point, the negative spirit that was inside of Adam Warlock's cosmic cocoon. It's 546 00:50:59,862 --> 00:51:05,424 gonna explode out of that because it was able to absorb all of that cosmic energy and evolve 547 00:51:05,464 --> 00:51:11,947 into a more powerful form like Rebus who also formed in this cosmic egg type cocoon and it's 548 00:51:11,967 --> 00:51:16,889 gonna dive into Danny the Street, repossess Negative Man that's just gonna make him stronger 549 00:51:17,049 --> 00:51:22,611 and now capable of flight so Negative Man flies out of Danny's basement and goes toe-to-toe 550 00:51:22,891 --> 00:51:29,014 with Adam Warlock just trading blows and blasting him with powerful radioactive beams Bet Adam 551 00:51:29,054 --> 00:51:34,796 Warlock regretted that. I mean, Adam Warlock has energy shields, so he's able to block these 552 00:51:34,816 --> 00:51:41,639 beams with his energy force fields. And then he's going to use quantum magic to just exercise 553 00:51:41,679 --> 00:51:46,661 the negative spirit out of negative man's body while he's flying midair. What? And that's 554 00:51:46,681 --> 00:51:50,503 going to cause the negative man to just fall down to the ground to his death. So negative 555 00:51:50,523 --> 00:51:56,778 man's dead. Fine. And then Adam Warlock's going to manipulate the negative spirit energy. into 556 00:51:56,798 --> 00:52:02,541 like this like energy ball, removing the consciousness within. And then he's going to hurl this energy 557 00:52:02,561 --> 00:52:08,004 ball at Robotman, just exploding Robotman's limbs all over the battlefield. Now, except 558 00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:13,688 that before this energy ball even hits Robotman, Danny is going to erect a stop sign that's 559 00:52:13,708 --> 00:52:19,471 going to deflect it like just enough that it misses Robotman, its target. But we'll say 560 00:52:19,511 --> 00:52:25,130 it probably hits like one of Danny's buildings. And that's going to hurt Danny. enough to probably 561 00:52:25,150 --> 00:52:30,593 make him shrink down so that he becomes Danny the Tank, which Robotman is gonna hop inside 562 00:52:30,853 --> 00:52:37,817 and drive, all right? And Robotman's gonna take aim at Groot, just blasting him with this explosive 563 00:52:37,857 --> 00:52:45,021 tank shell, and that's gonna reduce him to twigs. Oh shit, okay, so Groot gets blasted, but that 564 00:52:45,101 --> 00:52:51,865 pisses Rocket off, who by this point reconstructed the Chief's wheelchair into this powerful energy 565 00:52:51,885 --> 00:52:57,736 cannon. that he shoots at Danny the Tank and just blasts it with enough force to turn him 566 00:52:57,796 --> 00:53:04,880 into Danny the Brick. Ugh. So, Danny's out, and Robotman gets blown like, dozens of yards 567 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:11,044 away, right next to Star-Lord. And, uh, the two size each other up, and Star-Lord looks 568 00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:17,147 at him, and he turns up his Walkman to the maximum volume. And then he hits play, and starts doing 569 00:53:17,167 --> 00:53:22,669 the Thriller dance. Oh shit, is this like a dance-off? It's a dance-off, bro! Me and you. 570 00:53:25,202 --> 00:53:32,786 Alright, so, Robotman, he'll counter with the robot. He's gonna be like, Tomo arigato, Mr. 571 00:53:32,846 --> 00:53:39,970 Robot. Pop and lock, pop and lock. Ooh, can't touch this. Alright, then Star-Lord starts 572 00:53:40,010 --> 00:53:42,591 doing the pendulum from the right stuff. He's like, oh, 573 00:53:45,773 --> 00:53:51,276 oh. Oh, look, Robotman is on the ground doing the worm. And then he segues into like, the 574 00:53:51,336 --> 00:53:56,780 windmill into a head spin. Oh! Then he jumps to his feet and he's like, top that motherfucker. 575 00:53:59,142 --> 00:54:05,888 And then Star-Lord just shoots Robotman with electrical energy blasts, just flying his circuits. 576 00:54:06,008 --> 00:54:11,753 It was all just a distraction and Robotman fell for it. So Robotman's out of the match. It 577 00:54:11,773 --> 00:54:20,739 was worth it. OK, Dorothy saw this. And she loves Cliff, so she is like emotionally traumatized. 578 00:54:21,059 --> 00:54:26,860 And she's gonna hear the candle maker whisper in her head, make a wish. So she does. And 579 00:54:27,561 --> 00:54:32,922 suddenly Star-Lord's mask is gonna turn into this like monster demon creature wrapped around 580 00:54:32,942 --> 00:54:38,924 his face that just suffocates him and kills him. Oh, geez. Like a face hugger? Exactly, 581 00:54:39,044 --> 00:54:44,750 exactly. From alien? Scary, freaky alien monster. Geez. Meanwhile, Crazy Jane. She was on the 582 00:54:44,790 --> 00:54:50,371 ground bleeding from the wound Gamora stabbed in her chest, but the Hangman's beautiful daughter 583 00:54:50,411 --> 00:54:56,353 personality takes control and paints a bandage on the ground using her blood, which then is 584 00:54:56,373 --> 00:55:02,194 going to become real, and she uses that bandage to stop the bleeding, after which she gets 585 00:55:02,414 --> 00:55:09,096 taken control of by Black Annis, you know, with her red eyes, blue skin, and she has these 586 00:55:09,376 --> 00:55:10,597 like four razor-sharp, 587 00:55:13,930 --> 00:55:19,973 So she's in control and she's going to attack Drax cause she hates men. And she's going to 588 00:55:20,013 --> 00:55:25,015 stab him right in the chest with all eight claws, like right into his heart. These are like Wolverine 589 00:55:25,035 --> 00:55:29,778 claws. Like are they made out of adamantium? Cause like they'd have to be pretty dang sharp 590 00:55:29,798 --> 00:55:37,062 to cut into Drax. I mean, they're like supernatural blades. Okay. All right. Well, Drax is going 591 00:55:37,082 --> 00:55:41,724 to look down and he's going to see these claws sticking into his chest and he's going to be 592 00:55:41,744 --> 00:55:47,819 like, my nipples. And then he's gonna be like, die. And he's gonna shove both of his blades 593 00:55:47,899 --> 00:55:52,601 into her neck. So basically they're gonna take each other out. They both bleed out. They're 594 00:55:52,621 --> 00:55:58,764 both out of the match. But Gamora, she saw what Dorothy Spinner did to Star-Lord. So she knows 595 00:55:58,784 --> 00:56:03,026 this little girl has to go down. But she's like, no one wants to see Dorothy get stabbed or 596 00:56:03,046 --> 00:56:07,647 anything. So what Gamora's gonna do is she's gonna sneak up behind Dorothy and just yeet 597 00:56:07,687 --> 00:56:13,238 her. What? Yeah, she picks up this 90 pound, like pipsqueak of a child and just. freaking 598 00:56:13,278 --> 00:56:17,620 tosses her toward their horizon. You know, probably killing her, not in a way that anyone could 599 00:56:17,660 --> 00:56:22,122 see or certainly describe. Out of sight, out of mind. But Dorothy's out of the match. Being 600 00:56:22,142 --> 00:56:29,225 your father changes you, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll say that while that happened, the 601 00:56:29,265 --> 00:56:35,187 chief has landed safely near Robotman, who's been deactivated, and he's gonna plug into 602 00:56:35,247 --> 00:56:41,406 him like a nanobot cartridge that repairs and upgrades Robotman's systems. So Robotman's 603 00:56:41,426 --> 00:56:46,888 back online, he's like, fuck yeah. And the chief tells him to go after the raccoon's gun because 604 00:56:46,908 --> 00:56:53,791 the chief wants it. So Robotman runs up near Rocket and pulls his energy cannon out of his 605 00:56:53,831 --> 00:57:00,974 hands using magnetic upgrades. And that's when he uses that cannon to blast Adam Warlock to 606 00:57:01,014 --> 00:57:06,556 smithereens. It was just like dialed up all the way. And before Rocket even has the time 607 00:57:06,576 --> 00:57:12,198 to react, he's gonna get hit in the head by a brick. Danny the Brick specifically, which 608 00:57:12,298 --> 00:57:19,160 the chief threw. So Rocket's dead too. Geez, that's animal cruelty. He's an alien animal, 609 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:27,382 right? That's true. Okay, so Robotman has his upgrades, but suddenly he's feeling something 610 00:57:27,943 --> 00:57:32,384 weird going on with his new inner workings. Like maybe he had some bad sushi or something. 611 00:57:33,824 --> 00:57:39,138 When suddenly a branch shoots out of his mouth and his whole body... is going to start bursting 612 00:57:39,338 --> 00:57:45,340 at the rivets and getting wrapped up in vines as a whole ass tree man grows out from within 613 00:57:45,380 --> 00:57:50,561 Robotman's body. That's right, Robotman thought he blew up Groot, but I'm going to say one 614 00:57:50,581 --> 00:57:56,243 of the twigs survived and made its way inside Robotman's metal shell, taking him out from 615 00:57:56,263 --> 00:58:01,424 the inside. Groot's back. I love how these plant creatures just keep coming back. It's awesome. 616 00:58:02,764 --> 00:58:09,598 I'm going to say though that Groot starts feeling weird. Like he ate some bad whatever the fuck 617 00:58:09,658 --> 00:58:16,680 Groot eats, all right? And he's like, I am Groot. And that's when his body is torn apart from 618 00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:24,222 the inside by Alastewoman, who had shrunk her body down and squeezed into Groot's body before 619 00:58:24,262 --> 00:58:29,944 expanding and breaking him apart. And I say no way he has the energy to regrow himself 620 00:58:30,004 --> 00:58:35,905 again for this match. So he's out. Way to be original with that one. So I got to say about 621 00:58:35,925 --> 00:58:42,224 that. So that happened, that was quite the spectacle of Robotman dying and then Groot dying. Chief 622 00:58:42,264 --> 00:58:46,947 is watching this happen and all of a sudden he hears like this whirring sound. Like woo 623 00:58:47,387 --> 00:58:51,769 woo. And he quickly turns around to see where it's coming from and whack! Sword right through 624 00:58:51,789 --> 00:58:57,192 the neck. Because Gamora threw her sword and it comes spinning through the air like a saw 625 00:58:57,212 --> 00:59:03,776 blade across the battlefield and just decapitates the Chief. So he's out and same thing for Elastawoman. 626 00:59:03,896 --> 00:59:10,598 She hears a whirring sound too. dagger to the face. Gamora is just throwing blades, taking 627 00:59:10,618 --> 00:59:15,760 names. Yeah, but Alastor woman can't really be injured physically like that. So she's simply 628 00:59:15,780 --> 00:59:20,901 going to pull the knife from her face and she's going to stretch her arms toward Gamora, just 629 00:59:20,941 --> 00:59:26,623 picking her up and lifting her into the sky as she grows to like skyscraper height. And 630 00:59:26,643 --> 00:59:30,484 then she's just going to drop Gamora. And we're going to see Gamora's dead body on the ground, 631 00:59:30,644 --> 00:59:35,325 just like an end game. Again, with the originality, that was the same move that you did in the 632 00:59:35,585 --> 00:59:44,139 Hawk Girl versus Gamora fight. Hey, it's a classic for a reason. All right. OK, so it's just down 633 00:59:44,179 --> 00:59:50,564 to Mantis and Elastawoman now. I believe so. Yeah. The bigger they are, the bigger the brain. 634 00:59:51,025 --> 00:59:57,049 So Mantis, like she's going to climb up Elastawoman, scaling her like a building until she gets 635 00:59:57,089 --> 01:00:02,214 up to her shoulder. And then Mantis is going to put her hand on the Elastawoman's head that 636 01:00:02,314 --> 01:00:08,226 sends a surge of like psychic pain through her mind, shutting it down. and causing the last 637 01:00:08,266 --> 01:00:14,628 woman to just drop to the ground into this lifeless puddle. And guardians win. Except that you 638 01:00:14,648 --> 01:00:19,749 know how you said that Dorothy was tossed toward the horizon by Gamora? Yes, okay. Well, it 639 01:00:19,769 --> 01:00:24,770 turns out her imaginary friend, flying Robert, who's like this cherub with a balloon for a 640 01:00:24,810 --> 01:00:31,412 head, caught her and dropped her back off at the battlefield. So Dorothy's back and she 641 01:00:31,452 --> 01:00:36,902 sees that all of her friends are dead, so she's horrified. And in her distress, She's gonna 642 01:00:36,942 --> 01:00:44,045 emit this like nuclear bomb sized psychic explosion that's just gonna rock Mantis' mind and kill 643 01:00:44,105 --> 01:00:50,387 her. And Dorothy is gonna go into a coma afterward, but she's alive at the end. So it counts for 644 01:00:50,547 --> 01:00:54,889 a win for the Doom Patrol. I knew Gamora should have been a little bit more direct in getting 645 01:00:54,909 --> 01:01:00,691 rid of Dorothy. That's what you get. I'm gonna say that Dorothy actually isn't horrified when 646 01:01:00,711 --> 01:01:05,753 she returns. She's actually just, you know, real chill in spite of everything, just calm. 647 01:01:06,294 --> 01:01:11,737 because Mantis empathically calms her down. And then Mantis is just gonna put Dorothy into 648 01:01:11,777 --> 01:01:18,120 a deep sleep. So either way, Dorothy is in a coma, but in this case, it's still a guardian's 649 01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:24,084 win. And we can leave the match there. Either Dorothy unleashes a psychic explosion that 650 01:01:24,104 --> 01:01:30,187 shuts down Mantis' mind and then goes into a coma, or Mantis shuts down Dorothy's mind and 651 01:01:30,227 --> 01:01:34,638 Dorothy still goes into a coma. So we'll find out which way Dorothy goes into a coma. by 652 01:01:34,718 --> 01:01:40,182 running the stats on all these characters and coming back with a winner. Let's do it. AJ9K, 653 01:01:40,642 --> 01:01:48,267 run the stats. Inputting data, running calculations, processing results, simulations complete. All 654 01:01:48,287 --> 01:01:55,152 right, poor Dorothy. I feel bad because that's- She can't break. Yeah, that's how she ended 655 01:01:55,192 --> 01:02:00,496 up passing in the comic books, right? She went into a coma. Right. But no, I liked the way 656 01:02:00,516 --> 01:02:04,735 that match went. It did end up being pretty weird. but the team seemed like a good match 657 01:02:04,755 --> 01:02:09,820 for each other. They were an even better match for each other statistically than I initially 658 01:02:09,860 --> 01:02:14,264 suspected. I thought this was actually gonna be a little bit more lopsided of a match, but 659 01:02:14,404 --> 01:02:20,029 statistically they ended up pretty well balanced. Right, my most powerful character was crazy 660 01:02:20,149 --> 01:02:24,994 Jane, it turns out. Yeah, and mine was Adam Warlock. Which wasn't too surprising. Like 661 01:02:25,054 --> 01:02:29,862 I figured he was gonna be your most powerful guy, but surprisingly, Another one of my most 662 01:02:29,902 --> 01:02:35,223 powerful team members was the Chief. I did not see that coming actually. Well, that's because 663 01:02:35,243 --> 01:02:40,225 of the versatility stat. By far, the Doom Patrol was so much more versatile than the Guardians 664 01:02:40,245 --> 01:02:45,766 of the Galaxy. That was the biggest disparity between the team stats because Chief can do 665 01:02:46,166 --> 01:02:51,588 almost anything he puts his mind to. Dorothy Spinner can summon all sorts of imaginary creatures. 666 01:02:52,068 --> 01:02:58,034 Crazy Jane can turn into so many different types of super powered beings. Danny the street can 667 01:02:58,094 --> 01:03:02,838 manifest as so many different types of locations. Like so many of these characters were able 668 01:03:02,858 --> 01:03:07,921 to adapt in so many different ways. Whereas the guardians were a little bit more, you know, 669 01:03:08,101 --> 01:03:12,484 straightforward in their approach to their powers, except for Adam Warlock. He was my most versatile 670 01:03:12,825 --> 01:03:17,108 and Rocket Raccoon also had quite a few tricks up his sleeve. I would say your guys's were 671 01:03:17,148 --> 01:03:24,193 much more weighted in the physical end of the spectrum. Whereas mine were a little bit more 672 01:03:24,213 --> 01:03:28,930 diverse all over the board. Yeah, actually the thing that Marvel came out furthest ahead on 673 01:03:29,030 --> 01:03:34,852 was fighting skill. A lot of the Guardians of the Galaxy members are just more adept fighters 674 01:03:34,892 --> 01:03:40,154 like Mantis, Drax, Gamora. They're all well trained as opposed to the Doom Patrol, which 675 01:03:40,314 --> 01:03:45,835 very few of them have formal hand-to-hand combat training. In the end, the Guardians individual 676 01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:53,617 win percentages ran anywhere from 35% to 75% with Drax actually getting the lowest amount 677 01:03:53,637 --> 01:03:58,067 of wins. out of all of his simulations, and then Adam Warlock winning three-fourths of 678 01:03:58,107 --> 01:04:04,508 his matches. Similarly, Robotman actually had the lowest win rate out of anyone in Doom Patrol, 679 01:04:04,888 --> 01:04:09,530 whereas Crazy Jane had the highest win rate. Similarly, Victorious about three-fourths of 680 01:04:09,550 --> 01:04:14,991 the time. With all that said, Jonathan, which of these teams do you think ultimately is going 681 01:04:15,011 --> 01:04:19,513 to end up the victor? I'm really hoping it's going to be the Doom Patrol. I just really 682 01:04:19,553 --> 01:04:23,526 like the team, but I also know that they're insanely versatile. I really think that's going 683 01:04:23,546 --> 01:04:29,372 to come through for them in a clinch. Instagram disagrees with me. Fifty four percent of our 684 01:04:29,432 --> 01:04:34,737 poll takers there said that Guardians of the Galaxy were going to win, to which I just have 685 01:04:34,757 --> 01:04:40,904 to respond. You guys don't watch the Doom Patrol show and you should be. Why would they when 686 01:04:40,924 --> 01:04:45,788 they can watch the Guardians of the Galaxy movies? Right? Because that's over. That's it's done. 687 01:04:46,149 --> 01:04:50,468 Get over it. Doom Patrol is over too. Oh, I guess the last half of the last season hasn't 688 01:04:50,528 --> 01:04:55,692 come out, but that shows over in Dunwith as well. Yeah, I mean, but not yet. So technically 689 01:04:55,892 --> 01:05:01,476 media-wise, Doom Patrol survived longer. Let's see if that's the case with this match. AJ 690 01:05:01,516 --> 01:05:08,902 9000, the results please. Hey, Yuasa. All right, the winner of this team duel between the Doom 691 01:05:08,942 --> 01:05:18,119 Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy is Doom Patrol. Yes, which is bullshit. I got to say, 692 01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:22,701 did not see like I totally thought Guardians had this one in the bag. How the fuck did the 693 01:05:22,761 --> 01:05:27,363 Doom Patrol pull this off? There are a bunch of freaking losers. OK, that's ableist of you. 694 01:05:27,843 --> 01:05:33,846 Very, very close matchup, though. Doom Patrol won a whopping five hundred four matches out 695 01:05:33,866 --> 01:05:38,508 of one thousand. So they barely beat the Guardians. Guardians won four hundred ninety six of the 696 01:05:38,528 --> 01:05:44,264 matches. So it was fifty point four percent to forty nine. 50.6% overall. This is really 697 01:05:44,385 --> 01:05:51,553 close. That actually surprised me. I don't remember if this is our closest team duel or not, but 698 01:05:51,613 --> 01:05:58,881 it just might be. It's one of the closer ones. Wow. 50.4%. Good job Doom Patrol. I mean, considering 699 01:05:58,921 --> 01:06:04,507 that Both Doom Patrol and Guardians are probably the least similar in terms of their rosters. 700 01:06:04,687 --> 01:06:08,888 You know, I would say that something like Justice League and Avengers are much more similar in 701 01:06:08,908 --> 01:06:12,969 their lineups. But Justice League and Avengers was a pretty lopsided match. This Doom Patrol 702 01:06:13,009 --> 01:06:18,091 Guardians one is not. So I don't know. That's just interesting how some of the stuff plays 703 01:06:18,171 --> 01:06:22,512 out. Just means that we and the executive producers did a great job picking this match. Yeah, it 704 01:06:22,532 --> 01:06:27,053 was a lot of fun really looking forward to our next match, which I believe is going to be 705 01:06:27,253 --> 01:06:32,832 the Legion of Doom. versus the Masters of Evil. So another Doom team. Yeah, if by Doom you 706 01:06:32,852 --> 01:06:39,936 mean dumb, sure. Yeah, another dumb team. What? I don't know what I'm saying. All right, let's 707 01:06:39,976 --> 01:06:44,358 go to wrap this up because that does it for this duel, guys. Let us know what you thought 708 01:06:44,379 --> 01:06:51,643 about the results by writing to us at dynamicduelpodcast.gmail.com or by visiting us on Instagram or X. You can 709 01:06:51,663 --> 01:06:55,125 find the links to all of our accounts by checking out our show notes or visiting our website 710 01:06:55,205 --> 01:07:00,135 at dynamicduel.com. And on our site, you could also find a link to our Patreon page where 711 01:07:00,155 --> 01:07:05,358 you could join our Dynamic Duo tier and chat with us and fellow listeners, our fantastic 712 01:07:05,458 --> 01:07:10,601 Four tier, which gets you bonus content to each month, our Ex Force tier that makes you an 713 01:07:10,741 --> 01:07:16,524 executive producer of this podcast, or our newest tier that lets you join our Dynamike podcast 714 01:07:16,644 --> 01:07:22,608 network. If you can't join Patreon, please still support the show by signing up for our e-newsletter 715 01:07:22,828 --> 01:07:27,863 also at dynamicduel.com so you'll never miss an episode. You can also rate our show on Apple 716 01:07:27,903 --> 01:07:34,088 Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser, or on our website. Our next episode is gonna be a review. We're 717 01:07:34,108 --> 01:07:39,452 going to discuss the latest season of Harley Quinn on Macs. It's a really funny show, I 718 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:42,494 haven't started watching it yet, so I'm gonna cram it and then we're gonna talk about it. 719 01:07:42,915 --> 01:07:46,117 But that does it for this episode. We wanna give a big thanks to our executive producers. 720 01:07:46,338 --> 01:07:50,702 Ken Johnson, John Sturawski, Zachary Hepburn, Dustin Belcombe, Mickey Mathen-Geehan, Brendan 721 01:07:50,742 --> 01:07:56,287 Estergard, Nathaniel Wagner, Levi Yeaton, Nick Abonto, Austin Wazolowski, AJ Dunkerley, Scott 722 01:07:56,307 --> 01:08:01,152 Camacho, and Adam Spies for helping make this podcast possible. And we'll talk to you guys 723 01:08:01,172 --> 01:08:05,656 next week. Up up and away, true believers. Dance off bro, me and you.