Kite Man vs Stilt-Man

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This is a DynaMic Network podcast.

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Hi and welcome to the Dynamic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters and stat-based battle simulations. I'm Marvelous Joe. And I'm his twin brother Johnny DC. And in this episode we're going to find out who would win in a fight between Kite Man and Stilt Man because I know everybody is wondering who would win. I have been wondering about this for as long as...

00:50
A couple of months, ever since one of our executive producers, Mickey Methangean, thought up the idea. It's a fantastic idea. I can't believe we haven't thought of it sooner, and I can't wait to find out who's gonna win. Yeah, this episode is a tie-in to our next episode, which is gonna be a review of Kite Man Hell Yeah Season 1 on Macs. This should be a fun one though, so look forward to that discussion later. Before that, we're gonna break down the latest comic book movie news to come out this past week, including the Joker Follyadoo That's Life trailer.

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As always, we list our segment times in our episode description, so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a particular topic. Guys, our artificially intelligent duel simulator AJ9K has a quick message for our listeners, so listen up.

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Why hello there, do you want even more from this podcast? Then become a part of the dynamic duel community on Patreon, where you can choose from three tiers. The dynamic two-oh tier gives you access to our Discord chat server. The fantastic four tier gives you two bonus episodes each month, and the X-Force tier makes you an executive producer of this show. Lastly,

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The Diner Mike podcast network tier lets you create your own podcast using this Monte Carlo simulator. Johnny and Joe will help you develop your show, provide graphic support and consultation, and get you simulation results. Pitch the twins your ideas via email at dynamicduelpodcast at gmail.com. Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicduel. Pip pip cheerio. Thanks AJ9K and thanks to everyone who supports the podcast. We want to give a quick shout out to one of our patrons, Jacob Foster.

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Whose birthday was this past week? Happy birthday, Jacob. Happy birthday. If I could give you any gift from Marvel, I would give you Gambit's playing card deck because even though you don't have mutant powers to make them explode, you can still play cards with them. So yeah, it's fun. If I could get you anything from DC for your birthday, I would get you Ragman's cloak because your handle in our Discord server is Hypnotic Cape and that's pretty much a Hypnotic Cape.

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Happy birthday again, man, and thanks for being a patron. Yeah, thanks a bunch. Be sure to tune into the other shows on the DynaMic Podcast Network this week, including Max Destruction, which pits your favorite action heroes from film and television against each other. This week, hosts Scotty and Gilly are breaking down a Robocop vs. Terminator matchup. On the Send Your World podcast, host Zachary Hepburn speculates on fights between fan favorite anime and manga characters. This Thursday...

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Zach will find out who would win in a fight between All Might from My Hero Academia and Mash Bernadette from Mashly. On the Console Combat podcast hosts Jon and Dean simulate battles between popular video game characters. In yesterday's episode, they released their first ever developer interview with Andrew Magazoo, the co-creator of the upcoming game Vigilante Combat Round 1. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click the link in our show notes to listen to all of the shows in the DynaMic Podcast Network.

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But with that out of the way, quick to the No Prize! A No Prize is an award Marvel used to give out to fans. Our version, the Dynamic Duel No Prize, is a digital award that we post on Instagram for the person that we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week. Last week, we asked, Do you think this should or shouldn't be Eddie Brock's and Venom's last appearance in Sony's Spider-Man universe, and why?

04:17
And that was in reference to the Venom The Last Dance movie. We got a lot of answers. Let's go ahead and break down our honorable mentions as well as the no prize winner. Our first honorable mention goes to Scott Camacho. Who said? Probably channeling my twin brother through me and the Marvel is coming out. This should be their last appearance in the Sonyverse. Why? Because it's going nowhere. You guys want him in...

04:47
the Spider-Man and Disney side, right? So yeah, they should end their last dance and hop over over there. For sure, yeah. Similar to how Spider-Man allegedly kind of straddles between the Sony Spider-Man universe and the MCU, even though that's not really the case because Spider-Man only shows up in the MCU films, maybe Sony and Marvel can make a deal for Venom so that he can also show up with the other MCU characters and no longer be confined to this Sony verse limbo that he's in.

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Yeah, otherwise like Scotty said, it's leading nowhere. It does make sense for Venom to be in the Spider-Man universe considering he's a Spider-Man character. I guess a good question is what do you consider the Spider-Man universe? Well, the MCU, the universe that the Spider-Man character exists in. Okay, okay. Great answer Scotty. Our next honorable mention goes to Travis Herndon, who said...

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What's up, Dunnaamadoos? Travis here, shout out to my evil twin. So my answer would be yes. Why? Because it's finally time for this man to come home. Home. Eddie and Venom need to be in the MCU. Me and you. Everybody and their grandmas want these two to be in the MCU. Finally meet Spider-Man. Team up with him. Fight him. We don't care. It's time for this guy to leave the loser table and come join and sit with the cool kids now. If they made a fourth Venom movie.

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with Tom Hardy and brought him into the MCU. What do you think the name of that movie should be called? Should it be called Venom Homecoming? Ha ha ha ha. Venom, there's no place like home. That sounds a little bit more apt according to the naming conventions that they've been going with for this Venom Sony franchise. Just like dumb? Yeah, exactly. Ha ha ha ha. Great answer, Travis. Our next honorable mention goes to Cyrus Moore. Who said? Hey guys, Cyrus Moore here.

06:35
Um, I believe the only answer to this question is yes. They are absolutely wasting Tom Hardy's time. He needs to come back to DC where he'll be treated with the love and care and respect of the world-class actor he is. Um, I mean, obviously Sony doesn't know how to make a movie. Marvel would just waste his time. So he needs to come back to DC already. Yeah. Tom Hardy's turn as Bane was a tour de force. Like you can make fun of it.

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But the fact that he was able to pull that off and be almost unrecognizable as he did it is just a testament to how solid of an actor he is. I was born in the shadows.

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Yeah he was, yeah he was. I'm sure there are a lot of roles that Tom Hardy could pull off in the new DCU considering you know he's a bigger guy and he's a big name but I think a lot more people would want him to come to the Marvel universe just because people know that Marvel is better. So no one knows that. Kevin Feige could easily recast Eddie Brock for the MCU so you don't know what you're talking about. Like fans would not even care.

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Well, who would you cast Tom Hardy as in the DCU? Ooh, good question. Would Tom Hardy make a good Constantine? Oh shit, probably. Yeah, probably would. I could see that, totally. Just like a chain smoking foul mouthed magician just to make his hair like dirty blonde and messy. Totally, I could see that. He gives off heavy vibes of like, don't give a fuck, you know? Yeah. That's actually pretty solid. Great answer, Cyrus Moore.

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We want to give a quick shout out to Daniel Alonzo for also taking the time to visit our website and record an answer. But the winner of this week's No Prize is Mason Thompson. Who said? This is Mason Thompson again, you know, I just gotta keep these answers going. Um, I do feel like he's a good actor for the thing he, for the movie. He took a good funny approach to Venom, but I feel like he got dragged through the mud in the second one.

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But it'd also be cool to see him, whatever they do with the Sonyverse. I feel like the Sonyverse is kind of in shambles. So I feel like if they get rid of Venom, it's just going to go all down the drain, you know. Yeah, Mason was the only responder who said that maybe Venom and Eddie Brock should stay in Sony's Spider-Man universe and have another movie. We're not saying we necessarily agree, but we did think that his answer was unique in the argument that it gave. It's highly likely due to the deals that Sony keeps making with Marvel.

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that Sony is going to retain the rights for Spider-Man pretty much indefinitely. So if the Sony Spider-Man universe is going to forever be a thing without the Venom films, it'll likely fall into shambles. Is that something that we want? Yes, 100%, absolutely. But is it something that is good for the superhero genre as a whole and will it eventually lead to Sony selling the rights to Marvel? Probably not.

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Yeah, there's still always the option that Andrew Garfield could come in and be the Spider-Man for Tom Hardy. You know, so I could see them continuing this universe and not necessarily transferring Kim to the MCU. And it could still end up good, like good in a way that fans feel is good. At this point, anything still possible? We'll see how Venom the Last Dance performs at the box office and let the conjecture go from there.

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But congrats again to Mason Thompson for winning this week's No Prize. If you the listener want a shot at winning your own No Prize, stay tuned to later on this episode when we'll be asking another Question of the Week. And now that that's done, on to the news!

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Okay, this past week we got a new trailer for Joker Folly do the sequel to 2019's Joker film. I'm not sure if this is the final trailer. It probably is since the movie comes out pretty soon here in just a couple of weeks actually. I would consider this definitely to be a hey tickets are now on sale. Here's where all the critics are raving about type trailer. So yeah, it's akin to a final trailer. And I thought it was a fantastic trailer. I liked this trailer.

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more than the last trailer that we got. I would agree. Yeah. Actually, you know, what's interesting is the first time I watched this trailer, I was at work and so I couldn't watch it with the audio on. And it just struck me how powerful all the images were. The cinematography on this thing is so fantastic. Oh, yeah. And the shots were so compelling. I remember thinking as I was watching it, it looks like it's going to be really good. But I'm not holding my breath because a lot of the reviews that have been coming in

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since the review embargo has lifted for the film have portrayed it as like a middling movie. Well, it's currently resting at a like low 60s Rotten Tomatoes score with about 50 reviews, but that doesn't really bother me because the first Joker film is sitting in the 60s for its Rotten Tomatoes score and a lot of these reviews came out of the film's premiere at the Venice Film Festival where the first film did fantastic, ended up taking the Golden Lion.

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The sequel didn't do as well, but I think that was because it didn't meet the expectations of a lot of critics in terms of what the film actually was. Like it's being sold as this musical, but apparently it's barely a musical. So I saw a lot of critics mentioning that. That doesn't bother me. I know a lot of people have been complaining about the musical aspect to begin with. So, I don't know. I still think it's going to be a really good film. I'm not sure if it's going to be as good as the first, but...

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That Rot Tomato score does not scare me, especially after a trailer like this. I feel like this gives us a lot of Arthur Fleck as the Joker, more so than we've seen in previous trailers. Like when he's talking to his friend on the witness stand, when he's watching Kirby Dent talk about him on the television, when he's being carried up to his cell and he's like, Oh, I'm in trouble. It's great to see Joaquin Phoenix play the role that got him an Oscar the last time he portrayed the role.

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I think he's going to do phenomenal. I think Lady Gaga is going to do phenomenal. We get to hear her sing for the first time in this trailer. That's life. And it's a great rendition. It almost sounds like Amy Winehouse. It's fantastic. But the thing that really sold me on this trailer is actually the different blurbs that we get to see from various reviews that have described the film in ways like cinematic dynaMic deranged and exciting, a surreal work of art. It's like...

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Anytime these things popped up on screen, I'm just like, yes, please. Yes, please. Hey, you think that you'd be checking your expectations by this point, though? You would think. Um, but it's the Joker. Like, I just watched the first film again a couple of weeks ago and man, that film still holds up the cinematography, the acting, the direction. It's so, so good. And I'm really looking forward to this movie. Like I cannot be sold enough. I thought, and then this trailer comes out and I'm like,

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I could only be so sold, you know? The movie's not gonna be, you know, Deadpool and Wolverine, but I'm sure it'll be fine. We'll find out in a few weeks, I guess. I know, it's gonna be nothing like that. It's gonna be way better, like a work of art, right? Deadpool and Wolverine was like a work of art. Thank you very much. Yeah, for Marvel fans, go read the back of a cereal box. Hey, you better watch yourself the way you talk to us, because the next thing you know, this movie's gonna bomb and we're all gonna laugh at you and then slap the shit out of you. But hey, if everyone's laughing...

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I mean, didn't the movie do its trick? No. Okay. But considering the musical nature of this film and the fact that Lady Gaga has been cast as Harley Quinn, and it seems to be a great casting choice, that brings us to our question of the week.

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What musician would you cast as a live action Marvel or DC character? And what character would that be? Jared Leto as the Joker. Can't do that. You can't do Lady Gaga as Harley Quinn. You have to do something original. No fucking Gavin Rosedale as some demon character or anything like that. Alright. Record your answer guys at dynamictool.com by clicking on the red microphone button in the bottom right hand corner of the screen, which will prompt you to leave us a voicemail.

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Your message could be up to 30 seconds long, and don't forget to leave your name in case we include you on the podcast. We'll pick our favorite answer and award that person a Dynamic Duel No prize that we'll post to Instagram. Be sure to answer before September 28th.

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But I think that does it for all the news for this episode, so let's go ahead and get into our main event, where we find out who would win in a fight between the Batman villain, Kite Man, and the Daredevil villain, Stilt Man.

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Alright, Kite Man versus Stilt Man. This is a Batman villain versus a Daredevil villain. And both of them are largely regarded as jokes, I think, within their respective comic book universes. They're not very successful. They're kind of known for being losers, but they kind of have endearing qualities to them just in kind of like the ridiculous nature of their powers, right? Kite Man uses fucking kites to perform acts of villainy. And Stilt Man walks on fucking stilts. Like what the hell is going on here?

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This is ridiculous, but I'm also here for it. Yeah, the concepts that these characters chose to base their villainous theme on is pretty ridiculous and absurd. But interestingly enough, these two characters are kind of like masters of the sky. So with that and the ridiculous natures, I think this is a fantastic matchup and one that I've been looking forward to doing ever since the concept was first introduced. I'm actually really glad that Kite Man ended up getting his own show.

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because otherwise we may never have done this episode because these characters are just so ridiculous and obscure. Yeah, we're kind of scratching the bottom of the barrel here, but I actually think these characters are renowned for being like D-listers, you know? Yeah, they're infamous. Let's go ahead and get into their backstories. To explain the methodology behind our duels, let's go to our sentient duel simulator, Alfred Jarvis 9000. AJ9K, tell our listeners how you go about determining a winner in our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir.

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The way I determine a winner between the contestants is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations using the characters statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random sampling. In this case, I randomise the statistics along a normal distribution as a way to simulate the many variables that can occur during battle. The stat parameters are based on the official Marvel power grid from which the DC characters statistics are extrapolated.

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damage potential, versatility and perception in order to create a more detailed and accurate simulation. The results of the 1000 simulations provide a percentage of wins for each character. The contestant with the higher percentage is declared the victor as they have a higher probability to win any given battle. In an equitable pairing, neither character should win 100% of the matches. The comic book stories have shown that there's even a way for Batman to defeat Superman.

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So the confidence rate of my method falls in line with the precedents that have been established in the source material. My mathematical simulations are without subjectivity or bias. Feats are not the sole consideration, nor are fan votes tabulated for determination of the winner. Thanks AJ9K! Before we run the simulations though, we like to break down each character's histories and abilities before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the 1000 simulations would play out beat for beat.

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And I believe it's my turn to go first with the DC characters backstory, so let me tell you all about Kite Man. The Charles Chuck Brown had a fascination with kites from a young age. His childhood hobby of flying kites soon evolved into an obsession, and as he grew older, his obsession began to shape his life in unexpected ways. Rather than pursue a conventional career, Chuck turned to crime. Using his love of kites and his knack for engineering,

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He developed a series of specialized kite-themed weapons and gadgets, crafting an identity that would strike fear, or at least confusion, into the hearts of Gotham citizens as the criminal known as Kite Man. Bram designed a large kite that he strapped to his back, allowing him to glide through the air and escape from crime scenes swiftly. Armed with a variety of kites, from tear gas emitting kites to large kite planes, Chuck launched a crime spree across Gotham City.

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by using tear gas released from one of his kites to disorient security during a high-profile robbery, during which he stole a valuable ruby. With this kite-themed technology, he not only managed to evade the authorities, but also freed a mobster from prison using the chaos he created to his advantage. In the process, he nearly killed Robin and managed to capture Batman, solidifying his reputation as a legitimate threat to Gotham's heroes.

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However, despite his initial success, Kite Man's overconfidence proved to be his downfall. After leaving the mobsters to guard Batman, Kite Man returned to find that Robin had managed to free his mentor. In a swift turn of events, Batman and Robin used Kite Man's own weapons against him, ultimately defeating him and bringing him to justice.

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His kite plane, which had been a key part of his escape plans, was later kept as a trophy in the Batcave, symbolizing Batman's victory over the kite-obsessed criminal. After serving time in prison, Chuck wasted little time resuming his criminal activities. Still dedicated to his kite-centric theme, he launched a new series of robberies, this time focusing on payroll heists. With his inventive use of kites and glider wings, Kite Man was able to evade capture for some time.

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though his exploits were once again thwarted by Gotham's vigilant protector, Batman. Though his crimes may have seemed outlandish, Chuck's ability to develop new Kite-based technologies continued to pose a challenge for Gotham's law enforcement and heroes alike. Despite repeated defeats, Kite-Man's determination never wavered. His criminal career eventually attracted the attention of heroes beyond Gotham, as his antics became more daring. In one notable encounter,

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Kite Man set his sights on a valuable treasure known as the Golden Eagle. During the heist, he was confronted by Hawkman, Hawk Girl, and Zatanna, three of DC's most formidable heroes. Who you could learn more about in their respective duels against Wolverine, Gamora, and Scarlet Witch. Kite Man's specialized kites gave him the upper hand in mid-air combat for a brief period, but Zatanna's magical abilities ultimately turned the tide. After a short battle,

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Kite Man was sent crashing into a tree and was defeated. Kite Man's notoriety grew further when he relocated to Zandia, a fictional country notorious for being a haven for supervillains. The country allowed criminals like him to operate with relative impunity, and Kite Man quickly ingratiated himself with other villains living there. He even joined Zandia's supervillain sports team, where he used his kite-based technology to contribute to their success.

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However, Kite Man's time in Zandia was cut short when he became involved in a conflict with a group of invading superheroes. Despite his abilities, Kite Man was once again defeated, further cementing his status as a villain who couldn't quite reach the upper echelons of criminal success. As the supervillain community evolved, Chuck found himself increasingly on the margins. During a major event in Gotham City, Kite Man was approached by a group of villains looking to form a new criminal syndicate.

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When Chuck refused to join their ranks, one of Gotham's deadliest assassins, Deathstroke, threw him off of a skyscraper. Although severely injured, Kite Man survived the fall, managing to glide to safety using one of his emergency kites. However, his near-death experience marked a turning point in his criminal career. Chuck attempted to reestablish himself in Gotham's underworld, taking on smaller-scale heists and selling his custom-made kites to other criminals.

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His status in the city's criminal hierarchy continued to decline, and he never regained the respect or fear he had once commanded. Eventually, Kite Man was captured alongside several other low-ranking villains, including Sewer King, the Squid, and Mirage. The group was confronted by inter-gang leader Bruno Mannheim, who sought to consolidate his control over Gotham's criminal operations. When Kite Man and the others refused to bow to Mannheim's authority, they were brutally executed.

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marking the apparent end of Chuck's criminal career. But in post-Flashpoint continuity, Charles Brown's origin was reimagined, and his character was given a more tragic backstory. Now referred to as Charlie Brown, he was depicted as a divorced father and an alcoholic, struggling to find his place in Gotham's underworld. His love for Kites had initially been a way to bond with his young son, Charlie Jr., who once exclaimed, Kite Man, hell yeah!

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in excitement during their kite flying outings. However, when Chuck became involved in a war between the Joker and the Riddler, his life took a dark turn. Caught in the crossfire of the two villains' feud, Chuck was used by both sides as a pawn. The Riddler, wanting to hurt Chuck, poisoned his son's favorite kites, leading to Charlie Jr.'s tragic death. Devastated and consumed by grief, Charlie fully embraced his criminal alter ego, Kite Man, as a way to seek revenge.

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He sided with the Joker in the ongoing war, determined to bring down the Riddler for what he had done. Throughout the conflict, Kite Man's skills were put to the test, and while his kites proved useful in battle, he was never able to shake his status as a joke among Gotham's villains. After the war concluded, Kite Man continued his criminal activities in Gotham, though he never regained the level of recognition he once sought. Despite his tragic past and repeated failures, Charlie remains a determined criminal,

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still using his kite-based gadgets, sometimes in the aid of Batman, in the hopes of one day gaining the respect he believes he deserves. Powers-wise, Kite-Man has no innate superhuman abilities, though he does have an uncanny understanding of aerodynamics and has engineered gliders and gadgets seemingly capable of defying gravity and physics. His primary engineering marvel is a spring-loaded, collapsible jet-powered glider.

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He stores on his back that gives him instantaneous accelerated lift. He's also a master glider, capable of near impossible acrobatics, acceleration and altitude. He has also been known to carry small expandable kites that he can use as heavy projectiles or to transport explosives or to lead trails of gas or other material. He also carries binoculars and when the need arises, a straight up gun and he will bust a cap if necessary.

26:03
Binoculars? I guess he would need those. Yeah, to see far when he's high up in the sky. You had mentioned at some point during your profile that he got into a fight with Hawkman and for some reason gave Hawkman and Hawkgirl a hard time in their aerial combat. Which doesn't make a fucking lick of sense to me. That just makes Hawkman and Hawkgirl look like they suck. Hey, it was earlier, alright? This isn't like freakin' modern age comics here. Alright, alright. Well, uh...

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I think you will be shocked at how many similarities there are between Kite Man's backstory and Stilt Man's. Let's hear it! Alrighty. Little is known about Wilbur Day's early life, but as an adult, he earned a PhD in mechanical engineering. He began working as a brilliant but frustrated scientist at Caxton Laboratories under Carl Caxton, who had developed a hydraulic RAM device.

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Feeling overlooked and underappreciated, Wilbur decided to steal Caxton's designs and use them to engineer a suit of armor equipped with telescopic hydraulic legs. This suit allowed him to tower high above the ground, granting him an advantage in committing crimes and evading capture. With this invention, Wilbur became the villain known as Stiltman, using his new abilities to carry out a string of robberies, largely from high-rises and helicopters.

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Wilbur sought to steal a molecular condenser device, another one of Caxton's inventions, but he was opposed by Daredevil, the blind vigilante of Hell's Kitchen. During their battle, Wilbur was accidentally struck by the condenser's ray, shrinking him to microscopic size and sending him into a limbo-like dimension.

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After months in the Microverse, Wilbur eventually returned to Earth where he resumed his criminal career. You can learn more about Daredevil in our Nightwing vs Daredevil episode. Constantly modifying and improving his armor, Wilbur continued to battle Daredevil as well as other heroes, including Spider-Man and Captain America. His telescopic legs were his greatest asset, allowing him to extend close to 300 feet, which made him a difficult target for ground-based opponents. However, despite numerous upgrades to his armor,

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including concussive blasters, gas dispensers, and a machine gun, Stiltman was frequently defeated, leading to a reputation as an inept and persistent criminal. For more about Spider-Man, check out our Blue Beetle vs. Spider-Man episode. One of Wilbur's more humiliating moments occurred when a small-time crook named Turk Barrett stole his suit and began using it to commit petty crimes. Angered by this audacity, Wilbur contacted Daredevil secretly and revealed a weakness in his armor's auto-gyroscopes.

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With this knowledge, Daredevil easily defeated Turk and returned the suit to its rightful owner. After this embarrassing incident, Wilbur upgraded the armor to ensure that no one else could exploit its weaknesses. Stiltman's criminal ventures took him across the country. In San Francisco, he kidnapped his former boss Carl Caxton and his daughter to force Caxton into recreating the molecular condenser, planning to use the device for a major heist. This time, however,

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Wilbur was defeated by Daredevil and Black Widow, who foiled his plans and rescued Caxton. You can learn more about Black Widow in our Black Canary vs. Black Widow episode. Despite these failures, Wilbur remained determined to enhance his suit and reclaim his reputation. He later upgraded his armor with secondary adamantium, courtesy of the villain Blastar, which made the suit virtually indestructible. Feeling invincible, Stiltman even dared to challenge Thor, the Norse god of thunder. However, the battle ended in defeat when Thor stripped him of his armor,

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and had it melted down. Wilbur's career continued to be a mix of minor successes and major defeats. He was hired to kidnap Assistant District Attorney Maxine Lavender, but failed when Daredevil intervened. He also clashed with Black Goliath after stealing advanced weaponry from the Trapster. Using a teleportation gun, Stiltman managed to transport Black Goliath and his companions to an alien planet, but he was ultimately defeated and forced to flee. In an attempt to regain his reputation, Stiltman broke into a factory and created a new armor.

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During the battle with Spider-Man that followed, Stiltman had a change of heart when Spider-Man saved his life from a deadly sonic disruptor. Grateful, Wilbur returned the favor by sparing Spider-Man's life and walking away from the fight. Despite several attempts to leave his life of crime, Wilbur always found himself returning to villainy. He joined forces with other supervillains, including the Owl and Gladiator, in an attempt to take control of the Kingpin's criminal empire. This plot was foiled by Daredevil and Spider-Man, and Wilbur's role in the Underworld was further diminished.

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After a string of defeats and embarrassments, including a battle against Iron Man during the Armour Wars where he was quickly knocked out, Wilbur decided to retire. He visited the law offices of Nelson and Murdock, declaring his intention to leave behind his criminal identity. He left his armor and suitcase on Matt Murdock's desk and stormed out, feeling paranoid accusations that Murdock was the real Kingpin. During the Superhuman Registration Act, Wilbur saw a chance for redemption.

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He signed up with the government and was outfitted with a new suit of armor, this time to serve as law enforcement during the ensuing conflict between heroes. However, Wilbur's attempt at becoming a reformed hero ended tragically. While tracking a child pornographer, Wilbur crossed paths with the Punisher, who saw him as a criminal beyond redemption. The Punisher used an anti-tank missile to destroy Wilbur's legs and then shot him point-blank, killing him instantly. You can learn more about the Punisher in our Punisher vs. Red Hood episode.

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Wilbur's death sparked a wake at the bar with no name, attended by many of his fellow villains. The gathering devolved into chaos when the Punisher, disguised as the bartender, poisoned the drinks and blew up the bar in an attempt to kill everyone inside. However, Wilbur's story didn't end there. He was later resurrected by the Jackal, a geneticist who specialized in cloning and reviving deceased villains. Stiltman, along with several other reanimated criminals, was sent out by the Jackal to pursue Spider-Man.

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Those actions during this period were largely unsuccessful, Wilbur's legacy lived on through successors like Lady Stiltman and his brief return to criminal life. Did you just say Lady Stiltman? It's not Stilt Woman? Yeah, I have no idea why. Her name is Lady Stiltman. Wow. Powers-wise, Stiltman's abilities come entirely from his suit of powered armor. The armor gives him enhanced strength and durability, allowing him to lift heavy objects nearly a ton in weight, punch through walls,

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and withstand gunfire and attacks from superheroes. His legs are capable of extending nearly 300 feet, giving him an unparalleled advantage in height and allowing him to step over buildings or crush vehicles beneath them with swift hydraulic force. He can extend or shrink his legs and his arms almost instantaneously, giving him incredible punching and kicking power. Stiltman's battle suit also comes equipped with various weapons, including a concussive blaster, gas grenades, and a machine gun attached to his wrist.

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He can also grease his stilts to prevent anyone from climbing up them. Finally, Stiltman is a skilled mechanical engineer, having built and improved most of the components of his armor. And that's Stiltman. So you're telling me one of his villainous tools is lube? Yeah, yep. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. There was a story that I read in the comics where he basically tried to franchise out his stilt technology and sell his stilts to other villains. But they all basically died in battle or got captured.

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And so he just made everyone else a loser. It was pretty funny. That's just like Kite Man when he was selling his kites. Yeah. Can Stiltman extend his arms as far as his legs? That's unknown. I couldn't quite figure that out. He can extend his arms. I don't know if he could go as far as 300 feet, though. It's possible. 300 feet. So that's like 30 stories tall. Yeah, about. Yeah. OK. Well, this is going to be a really interesting match. It's time to find out who rules the skyways.

33:54
where fantasies collide and heroes clash, one podcast network rises above the rest. Prepare yourself for the ultimate showdowns in comic books, video games, movies, and anime. The Dynomic Podcast Network presents Console Combat, where video game legends brawl every Monday. Dynamic Podcast Network.

34:13
Comic Book Titans smash every Tuesday. Max Destruction, where TV and action heroes battle every Wednesday. And Sendro World, where anime champions clash every Thursday. Join us as we speculate on the matches and armed with the power of mathematical simulations, discover who will emerge victorious. Visit dynamicpodcast.com where we settle the debate and settle the score.

34:41
Now that we got their histories and abilities out of the way, we're going to speculate on how one of the 1000 simulated matches will go. The winner is determined by simulations, not our speculation, but it's fun to imagine how this fight could play out. AJ9K, what are the rules of our speculation? Well, I should say there are no rules other than the characters have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight. All they are aware of starting out is that the other character is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For the speculation...

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The contestants will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescript environment that will have no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are considered in my simulations. The contestants must earn victory on their own merit. Alright then, let's get into it. Kite Man and Stilt Man meet on the battlefield. Who goes first? I'm going to say Kite Man starts off by expanding his kite glider and just rocketing straight up into the air.

35:37
Okay, I can tell you right now, no matter how fast KiteMan can gain elevation with his kite, it's not gonna be faster than StiltMan, who can get up to his peak altitude in seconds. Dude, KiteMan can ascend fast enough to knock people unconscious from the speed. And StiltMan can grow fast enough to smash through ceilings. Okay, whatever. So as KiteMan is flying up, all of a sudden he sees StiltMan just rocket past him to get the high ground. And while...

36:05
Stiltman is towering above Kite Man. Stiltman stretches down one of his arms and just punches a hole in Kite Man's glider, causing Kite Man to spiral back down to Earth. Dude, this kite isn't made of like paper. It's actually pretty durable. So there's no hole in it. It's just going to, you know, knock Kite Man into a spiral, but he's going to be spiraling upward. So as he's twisting around Stiltman, you know, gaining altitude, he's going to wrap.

36:33
up Stiltman's legs with this kite string that's going to trip Stiltman up and cause him to fall. And from that height, dude's basically dead, right? No, his armor is durable enough to protect him from falls from that height. But like, what is this kite string made out of? Because I'm pretty sure Stiltman can just snap that string by taking a step with his durable metal legs. It's not cotton, I can tell you that. Okay. It's probably, you know, some durable metallic

37:02
thread that he uses to like weave his kites or something. Okay, so, Stiltman's legs are wrapped up, but to keep from falling, Stiltman is gonna fully retract one of his legs from the ground, causing it to slip out of the kite string, okay? So he's balancing with one leg, and with his one leg free, he's gonna point his foot right at Kite Man, and extend it, just kicking Kite Man right in the face. Dink, okay. So Kite Man, you know, his eyes are probably pretty blurry from getting kicked in the face.

37:32
So by the time he regains his sight, it's too late. He's going to crash straight into Stiltman's one standing leg. But this is going to work to Kite Man's advantage because the impact is going to knock Stiltman over for real this time. OK, well, if Kite Man just crashed into Stiltman's legs, you know, Kite Man's going to be creening through the air and Stiltman, you know, he's toppling over. So they're both probably just like, fuck. So.

38:00
Stiltman is gonna regain his footing by extending his other leg just to catch himself. I'm guessing Kite Man is gonna find a way to correct his trajectory. But at this point, Stiltman is gonna activate his wrist-mounted machine gun and just start blasting Kite Man with a hail of bullets. Okay, well, Kite Man is gonna dodge these bullets by flipping and zipping through the air. And as he's doing that, he's gonna leave a trail of small kites.

38:28
that sail up to Stiltman's body. And by the time Stiltman even notices them, they're close enough so that when they detonate explosively, because they were bomb kites, it's going to rock him so hard, it's going to topple him to the ground once again. Except Stiltman did see the explosive kites, and he was able to shoot them out of the air with his machine gun before they got too close for him to really hurt him. Joke's on you then, because those kites were distractions, and apparently they worked.

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Because while Stiltman is busy shooting those kites, Kite Man's gonna zip past Stiltman's head with a kite string tied in a noose that's gonna wrap around Stiltman's neck, and Stiltman's just gonna get yanked real hard, straight up into the stratosphere, like way higher than he's used to. And between the noose and because he's not used to that low oxygen up there, Stiltman's gonna pass out. Well, first of all, Stiltman's battle suit has a respirator.

39:27
So he can breathe in high elevations, that's fine. He is probably getting choked out. But before that can happen, as he's being carried up into the air, he's gonna throw a grenade that's gonna explode next to Kite Man. It's a sleeping gas grenade. It's gonna put Kite Man to sleep, forcing him to drop the noose. And now they're both just falling from the stratosphere down to earth. Nah, Stilt Man is falling. Kite Man is gently gliding while asleep. Ha ha ha ha, all right.

39:56
Uh, Stiltman is gonna save himself from the fall by extending his stilts and using them like shock springs. Okay? And then he's gonna start running after Kite Man using his stilts because Kite Man's asleep at the wheel flying away, but Stiltman catches up to him with these huge giant strides and then he extends his arms to land a devastating hammer blow punch.

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that just knocks Kite Man out of the air for good with strong hydraulic force. Well, actually, Kite Man, you know, he's floated long enough that by the time Stilt Man reaches him, he's already woken up. And so he's able to dodge Stilt Man's attack. And since a hammer blow punch involves, you know, both hands being interlocked, Kite Man's going to quickly lasso those fists together with kite string attached to this antenna like kite that's just going to rocket into the atmosphere.

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and it's going to get struck by lightning, which is going to send electricity surging through still a man's metallic suit, just electrocuting him and frank him to a crisp while also teaching him in his last moments. The same lesson that Benjamin Franklin learned all those years ago. You don't fuck with kites. What is it raining or something? What the fuck? Like, what kind of environmental bullshit is that? Why is there lightning all of a sudden? It was an ionized kite designed to attract lightning. Duh. An ionized kite.

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I'm calling bullshit. But either way, Stiltman can detach any part of his stilts or arms if they get trapped. So the only thing that Kite Man electrocuted was this pair of metal arms. And that is when Stiltman is going to whip out his concussive blaster pistol and just blast off Kite Man's kite entirely and Kite Man falls to his death. Oh no no no, Kite Man has emergency parachute kites that will deploy automatically if he's falling too fast. Fine, those get blasted too.

41:50
What else does Kite Man have that'll save him? Uh, I mean, he has those get blasted to everything gets blasted. Kite Man dies. I don't actually think he has anything else anyway, but I'm going to say that, uh, electricity just moves way too fast, bro. There's no way still man disengages his arms fast enough to escape the lightning, but it also takes time for lighting to develop. So yeah, still man had plenty of time. Sorry. I guess we'll leave it there.

42:19
Either Stiltman gets electrocuted via a kite and lightning, or Kite Man essentially just falls to his death after his kite and all of his emergency parachutes get blasted away. We'll go ahead and leave the match there. Let's find out which of these scenarios happens by running the simulations for these characters and coming back with a winner. AJ9K, hit it. Inputting data, running calculations, processing results, simulations complete.

42:48
All right, that was a fun match. When I came to figuring out the statistics for each of these characters, I was actually pretty surprised at how often they came out as equals in some of these categories. Like I thought Kite Man was gonna be faster than Stilt Man, but it turns out Stilt Man can move pretty quickly when his legs are really long. Yeah, he also gains altitude really quickly too. It's interesting that both of these characters, their whole MO is about the aerial advantage, right? But they both approach it in very different ways.

43:18
Like Kite Man, he's all about projectiles and like his trick kites and stuff like that. Whereas Stilt Man is more about like strength and durability, you know? Yeah, and because of that, obviously Stilt Man came out on top in the stats of durability and strength, but Kite Man came out on top in terms of versatility and range, thanks to all of his trick kites. And what was really stupid is that Kite Man got the edge in perception because he has those binoculars.

43:46
That's right. You think that Stiltman would have binoculars, too, or something like that, to enhance his perception. He doesn't need him because he's still, for the most part, about close quarters combat. Right. Exactly. Yeah, he's a lot more physical than Kite Man, for sure. We said that they were pretty much dead even when it came to intelligence. They're, you know, pretty much experts in their respective fields. But when it came to damage level, still, man, it was just slightly ahead of Kite Man, which I also thought was surprising. For the most part, these guys are all about

44:16
you know, using explosives and various gases. But there's something to be said when you could literally stop on a car. Yeah. Or punch through a wall, you know. But taking all of these stats into consideration, Joseph, who do you think? You know, you don't even need to ask before you even finish your question. It's still man. It's going to be still man. I will finish. I was going to ask who you thought was going to lose. You think you think I was going to lose. All right. I think I'm going to lose and still man's going to win.

44:45
And I think our Instagram followers misunderstood the question too, because 59% of them are siding with Kite Man. And there's no way that's right. I mean, the guy does have his own animated series. Just Stilt Man? Is he cool enough for that? Nope. Well, a version of Stilt Man was in the Daredevil Netflix show, Turk. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot about that. But he never used the stilts in that show. So, yeah, probably for the best. But let's find out the results of this week's match.

45:15
AJ 9K, the results, please. Hey, you are, sir. The winner of the matchup between Kite Man and Stilt Man is Stilt Man. Before you even give the answer, it's going to be Stilt Man. I already know it. I meant loser. So you think the loser is going to be Stilt Man? Yeah, Stilt Man is the winner of this matchup. He won six hundred and ninety three of the 1000 matches.

45:44
or 63.9% compared to Kite Man's 36.1%. That sucked, I'm not gonna lie. I was really looking forward to winning this matchup so I could just be like, hell yeah. Well, let's all hear your best hell no. Hell no. I know exactly what that feels like every time Marvel loses a match. That's what I say inside. It feels so nice to be able to say though that

46:13
KiteMan is the bigger loser out of these two. That's depressing. I don't know, maybe it's fitting. Maybe he was destined for this. This is just the kind of luck that KiteMan would have. And this would be the first time that Stiltman has accomplished anything, really. So that's interesting. But that does it for this duel, guys. AG9K, help close this out.

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Thanks for listening to Dynamic duel. Visit the show's website at dynamicduel.com and follow us on Instagram at dynamicduelpodcast. You can support the show on Patreon at patreon.com slash dynamicduel and joining a tier that works for you, or by rating and reviewing Dynamic duel on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser or on our website. Don't forget to listen to the other shows in the DynaMic Podcast Network, including Max Destruction, Senjow World and Console Combat.

47:06
Our next episode is a tie-in to this episode, we're gonna be reviewing Kite Man Hell Yeah Season 1. It's of course a spin-off of Harley Quinn, which is a show that both Jonathan and I love, so hopefully Kite Man Hell Yeah meets that standard. But that does it for this episode, we want to give a big thanks to our executive producers Ken Johnson, John Sierowski, Zachary Hepburn, Dustin Belcombe, Miggy Montagueyan, Brendan

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Austin Wyselowski, AJ Dunkerley, Scott Camacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Spies, Andrew Shunk, Dean Molesky, Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and Josh Leiner for helping make this podcast possible. We'll talk to you guys next week. Up up and away, true believers. Here is my best hell no. Hells no.